


Kiss Me Hard Just Like I'm Breaking Your Heart

by Miss_Masochist



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, James Buchanan Barnes - Fandom, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Actor Sebastian Stan, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BDSM, Breathplay, Celebrity Crush, Choking, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Conventions, Cyberbullying, Dinner, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Don't Like Don't Read, Exhibitionism, F/M, Facial Shaving, First Kiss, Hand Fetish, Harassment, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In-Universe RPF, Kink Negotiation, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Little Black Dress, Masturbation, Mental Instability, Multiple Orgasms, Musical References, Neck Kissing, Ninja Sex party references, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Phone Calls & Telephones, RPF, References to Depression, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Rough Kissing, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sexting, Sexual Tension, Slow Dancing, Teasing, Texting, Vaginal Fingering, Voyeurism, cheirophilia, clitoral stimulation, creamy pussy, glass dildo, glass sex toy, gspot stimulation, twitter bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 54,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23340778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Masochist/pseuds/Miss_Masochist
Summary: Fan meets celebrity. Celebrity fawns over fan. Fan and celebrity go on a coffee date, and the rest is history. Right?Seb and Molly face difficult obstacles after photos leak on Twitter. Will their devotion to one another succumb the odds? Or will the pressure and hate from almost everyone cause them to crash and burn?
Relationships: Sebastian Stan/Author, Sebastian Stan/Original Character(s), Sebastian Stan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 32





	1. Some Questions are Just Best Answered with Actions, Not Words.

**Author's Note:**

> I have put a lot of thought, emotion, myself, and TLC into this fanfiction. It is a self insert, and (almost) everything here in this fanfiction are things that are really about me and that has really happened in my life, (minus of course the meeting Seb part, I've never met him in my life, ha!) and this is just something I've had on my mind to write for a while. 
> 
> It does change perspectives between Seb and me.
> 
> I will also be adding more tags as I write and post more. <3

“Come on now, you’re slacking!” I yell to my friends as I run to get in line to meet Sebastian. It’s early Friday afternoon, the first day of the con. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for so long! My friend Joe trudges behind me with his acoustic guitar on his back and Cory close behind.

“Ugh, give me a second, this guitar is weighing me down, man.” He says as he feels his long black locks getting tangled in the strings.

“Dude, I still don’t know why you brought that thing, plus your hair is getting caught in it, what the fuck?” Cory says as she tries to get his entangled hair out. “You’re going to be wearing this thing as a hair accessory soon if you don’t put your hair up, I swear.”

“I got it, I’m just complaining here because I can. And I brought it because if we’re going to be in line for a couple hours, we could have a few jam sessions. Ow, Fuck!” 

“Stop moving and let me help, you fucker.” Cory says. “And good point, we might get bored in the meantime.” She adds. Joe looks at me teasingly.

“Plus I mean, between your singing voice,” Joe says to me, “and those tight leather pants you got on, you’re bound to get Seb’s attention.” I give him a playful glare. “What? He did say he’s an ass man didn’t he? You can’t tell me you aren’t wearing those to get his attention.” He says while tuning his guitar.

“Okay first off, my voice sucks, okay? He will go deaf if he hears me. Secondly, they are not leather, they are polyurethane leather, it isn’t real leather. Thirdly...I can’t argue with the ass bit…” He strums his guitar and grins at my response.

“Yeah I’m sure you would like your ass bit by him.” I shove him and laugh loudly.

“You want me to take that guitar and smash it over your head? Because I fucking will.” He strums his guitar slowly and purses his lips.

“Soooo I take it you don’t want to jam in line…” He strums it again quickly. Cory bites her lip ring and looks at the both of us like we’re idiots.

“Y’all bicker back and forth like an old married couple I swear.” Cory says chuckling. “Molly, your voice does NOT suck, honestly. ANYWAY. You wanna belt out a few tunes? I’ll harmonize.” She says and grins widely as her green eyes light up through her black eyeliner and she runs her finger through her black and pink chin length bob.

“I hate you guys, why am I friends with you people? And yes I would love to.”

About an hour and a half later, we’re a few people away from meeting Seb. We have a good time, singing, making jokes, thinking of “what if” scenarios with Seb. We got a few people requesting songs from bands for us to sing like Pale Waves, Dorothy, and even Dixie Chicks at one point. People still like “Goodbye Earl”, and I’m not complaining! Someone asks us to do “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” by Fall Out Boy, and once we finish Seb shouts, “Who has such a powerful voice back there, holy shit!” Joe and Cory waste NO TIME to point me out and yell at him. I attempt to cower behind Joe, but he keeps moving to expose me. I hide my face, as I’m a beet red. 

“I fucking hate you guys…” I laugh nervously. He starts walking over and I internally shit myself. I peek through my fingers and he’s right in front of me. 

“You know for such a small woman, you have a set of pipes on you. I’m extremely envious, I wish I could sing like that.” He says. I put my hands down and my brain goes blank.

“I...uh….thank you! Um. I don’t really know what else to say besides that. But thank you!” 

“She thought you’d go deaf hearing her voice.” Cory blurts out. I elbow her in the side.

“Cory!” I exclaim

“What? You said it!” Seb laughs softly.

“Well no I am not deaf, in fact, hearing her voice makes me want to hear more from her to be perfectly honest.” He looks at me and smiles. He looks at my vest with all the patches and pins on it. “Nice vest. I take it you sewed these all on.” I nod gleefully.

“That I did, and there’s more on the back!” I turn around to show him the back and he chuckles.

“‘Cripplepunk’. I like that! I also love the Winter Soldier and Cap patches on either side! What is this one on the very bottom though? In dark purple?” I blush, realizing what one he’s talking about.

“Oh that one? It says, ‘Masochist’.” I turn back around smirking. 

“Now that means you like receiving pain, correct?” He asks apprehensively.

“Yes, I’m much more of a masochist than a sadist.” He looks down and his cheeks turn a little pink. 

“Alright, alright. Well once you get up here to...well, meet again...heh, I have more questions about some other patches, like that one for instance.” He points to my BDSM emblem patch.

“Yes Sir!” I blurt out, without thinking. Both of us laugh nervously. He starts walking away, looks back at me and grins from ear to ear, and then says, “Oh!” He points to my pants. “Nice pants by the way!” 

“Thank you!” I respond. I look back at Cory and she smirks. “What?!”

“Listen, it might just be me imagining things, but I think he was getting a good look at your ass. He may have been asking about the masochist patch but he was more curious about the booty.” Joe laughs and nods in agreement.

“He was not! He was looking at the patch, he was asking about the patch you guys. Can we keep fantasy and reality separate please?” I say. Joe snickers loudly.

“Listen, okay. He may have been asking about the patch, may have been looking at it, but trust me when I tell you, because I’d never lie, he was definitely stealing glances a little bit lower. We both saw his eyes shift back and forth.” I give them both playful glares.

“Uhhhh huh. Alright then you guys.” I roll my eyes and move in line.

********************************************************************************

Was saying I liked her pants stupid? I mean they were leather and...very form fitting...I was really looking at the patch...okay and her ass. I hope her friends didn't notice that. God knows I don't want to be seen as someone who is pervy with fans. I steal another glance before heading back to my seat. She has a cute little figure. Oh my god, Seb, focus on the task at hand here. I sit down and continue meeting with fans, signing autographs, taking videos for fan's friends and family. I'm looking down, signing more things when I hear a familiar voice.

"Well hey again!" She says, I look up and smile warmly. It's her.

"Oh hey again! Long time no see!" We both giggle nervously.

“So you wanted to ask about patches?” If these people weren’t around, I’d ask about a lot more than that…

“Uh, yeah! But first, did you want anything signed?” she looks at me with a malevolent grin and turns around toward her friends behind her.

"Joe, you have it?" He passes her something that looks like a….paddle? A Winter Soldier paddle? She puts it on the table in front of me.

“This a pizza paddle right?” I ask sarcastically.

“Oh Seb you sweet summer child, you. You’re adorable.” I stare at her blankly. 

"What, I like pizza! I take it you make homemade since you have this paddle here…" she sighs heavily and shakes her head.

“That must be some small ass pizzas you make then.” her girlfriend says to her.

"Oh shush, Cory. You though, if you don't stop ya smartass, I'll use that paddle for its primary purpose!" She says to me firmly. We both cackle.

"Good, because I really have a hankering for a slice right now!" I cover my mouth to muffle my laughter and she takes the paddle and points it at me.

"Don't test me, boy…" she says with a grin on her beautiful face.

"Yeah you really don't want to test her, she has some force behind her smacks, and that thing stings like a motherfucker." Cory says lowly. 

"OH. THAT KIND OF PADDLE. Okay so this isn't for pizza!" I look at her and her pretty brown eyes, that are rolling in the back of her head...oh lord the thoughts that are going through my mind with that look…Seb, get a hold of yourself, good god...

"Seb I think you're a bigger brat than Molly, and that's rare to come across." Joe chimes in. Her name is Molly. I like that name. Fits her too. She points the paddle at her friend now.

"He's on par with me, Joe. Get it right. No one is a bigger brat than me." She looks at me and smiles, like she won a trophy. Haha. Joe nods his head in agreement.

"True true." Molly clears her throat and looks at me again. Goddamn, those big brown eyes…

"Anyway," she says, putting down the paddle, "Can you sign this please?" 

“Yes, of course I can, Molly. So,” I say while signing the paddle, “can you tell me a bit about the triple yin/yang looking patch here?” She looks down at it and chuckles.

“Ah! You seem to be asking about the good ones! That one is the BDSM emblem. I’ve been actively involved in kink for about four years now, and it’s become a pretty big part of my life, it’s helped me find a lot of confidence.”

“Nice, nice. I’ve always wanted to know more about kink and stuff, but I just haven’t made that a priority since I am busy with so much, obviously.”

“Well, I mean if you can make time sometime this weekend, if you want to, I can talk for hours about it, so I mean, if you want to know more, we can talk…” She shrugs nonchalantly and smiles meekly.

“You know, I would actually love that. I have some time tonight after I meet with fans and stuff so if you want to, I don’t know, get coffee or dinner or something?” Her eyes grow wide when I ask her. God she’s...really kind of sexy with her punk aesthetic going on.

“Wait really? That would be awesome, sure!” My face lights up when I hear how excited she is.

“Great, here, let me…” I trail off and grab a piece of paper and put my number on it and hand it to her. “I’m trusting you with this, Miss Molly. I’ll let you know when I get off...wait not...not like that, fuck…” she giggles softly and looks at the paper.

“I’ll text you so you’ll have my number in your phone.” She whispers. I get goosebumps feeling her breath on my ear. 

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to you later, Molly.” 

“Talk to you later, Seb.” I watch her walk away, just looking at her from head to toe, my eyes stopping at her ass for a millisecond. She looks back and waves, and I wave back. I’m lost in my thoughts thinking about how tonight might go, when I notice she left her paddle behind. 

“Shit.” I say aloud. Oh well, I’ll give it back to her later. Wow. Whoever did this put a lot of time into it, it looks really beautiful. Anyway, what was I doing? 

********************************************************************************

“So did I just witness Seb ask one of my best friends out on a date?” Cory teases as we walk to a table to sit down, as my legs were feeling like jello after meeting him.

“It isn’t a date. He asked me for coffee or dinner so we can talk kink.” I say firmly.

“He gave you his number.” Joe says, cocking his eyebrow jutting his head forward. “What do you have to say to that?

“He gave it to me to let me know when he gets off so we can go for coffee? Duh?” Joe and Cory look at each other, Joe rolling his eyes and Cory sighing heavily. They both look back at me.

“It’s a date.” They say concurrently. 

“Guys, it is not a date.” I protest. Cory scoots her chair closer to me. 

“Molly. Listen to me closely. Seb was asking about your patches, he was looking at your ass any chance he got, I’m sure he was looking when we walked away, he was cracking jokes about the paddle, flirting with you...GIRL. Were you NOTICING how he was looking at you? At all? He’s interested. Trust me!”

“He’s a celebrity and was being awesome with a fan.” I reply. I honestly do not think he’s interested in me. Why would he?

“He’s a guy who was flirting with you and getting a good look at your ass and gave you his NUMBER.” Joe exclaims. I glare at him.

“Molly you can protest all you want,” Cory says, “but I remember you always saying that celebrities are people just like us at the end of the day. They poop too.” I chuckle softly.

“Your point?” I ask.

“Oh good fucking christ. Joe help me out here.” She says rubbing her face, feeling defeated.

“Okay Molly,” Joe says carefully. “Take Seb out of the equation, okay? And replace him with someone who isn’t a celebrity, then imagine that same line of dialogue happening between you and that person. Is it flirting? Would you say they are flirting with you?” There’s a short pause as I think.

“I mean yeah, I would…but Seb wouldn’t go for me.” Joe slams his head on the table.

“I give up, Cory. I fucking give uuuup.” She pats his hand softly.

“Don’t worry Joseph. She’ll catch on.” I take out the piece of paper Seb handed me and I add his number to my phone and text him just so he has my number. Are they right though? Was he flirting? I...I don’t know. Maybe? But what could he see in me? He has much better choices in this world than me. I’m deep in thought when my phone buzzes and startles me. It’s Seb asking if seven for coffee is a good time.

“You guys think it would be okay if I desert you at seven for coffee with Seb?”

“Wow. You know, seven in the evening sounds like a typical time for a daaaaate.” Joe says, Cory covering her mouth laughing. Now I’m feeling defeated.

“Okay, okay. I will consider the fact that it is probably a date, okay? I still don’t know what he would see in me though.” Just as Cory was about to respond, we hear some excited shouting and we look over to see where it’s coming from, and it’s Seb. He’s holding my paddle. “Oh shit I forgot my paddle!” He sees me and walks over.

“Hey you!” He cheers, setting the paddle on the table. “You better take this back before I do something bad with it.” he grins widely.

“Well, maybe she’d like you to keep it then, if that’s the case.” Cory says teasingly, and Seb’s face turns red. 

“Cory!” I smack her arm. “Thank you Seb, I appreciate it.”

“No problem. So is seven tonight okay?” He asks, and I realize I didn’t respond to his text.

“Oh shit I didn’t send you a text back, sorry! Yeah, seven is totally okay!”

“Okay, sounds great! I’ll see you then!” He walks away and when out of earshot, Joe chimes in.

“It’s a date…”

“Joe I have a paddle and I have a cane, I’m not afraid to use either.”

It’s 6:30. Cory, Joe and I walked around the con a few times. I went through Artist Alley to buy some Spyro and Bucky fanart that I had my eye on. We’re now sitting down against a wall, charging our phones and jamming again. Seb and I have been texting silly and I guess flirty things to each other. He lets me know that he’s done early but he needs to go back to his hotel room to shower, so he’d be a little late to the coffee shop. I text him to take his time and I’d be at the shop in 15 minutes.

“Can we go to the coffee shop with you?” Joe asks eagerly.

“Why, so you can tease me some more? No way.” I say with a smirk on my face.

“Actually,” Cory interjects, “From one woman to another, and I’m sure Seb means well, I just want to make sure you’ll be safe is all. I am cautious, as I know you are too. If you’ll let us, we won’t sit at the same table obviously, we will sit at a distance. I just don’t want to leave you alone with a man you barely know. Yes, that includes Seb.” Cory and Joe are always amazing like that, always wanting to be at least a text away if I’m on a date. I mean this isn’t a date! Wait, is it though? Oh my god, maybe they’re right. Am I really this oblivious? I look at both of them, sighing heavily.

“Yes, you guys can come, BUT be at a distance. Don’t make jokes like you did toward him earlier,” I dart my eyes at Cory playfully, “because he seemed really embarrassed by that one, and I will use the stoplight system through text and tell you if things are going really well or really bad, okay?” Cory and Joe nod.

“Sounds good.” Joe replies.

“Now I’m honestly wondering if this IS a date.” I admit to them.

“NOW you see what we see?” Cory says excitedly. All I can do is smile.

“She sees it.” Joe says.

“Oh yeah, totally.” Cory responds. 

“Alright, let’s get going.” I say, getting up. We walk to the coffee shop about a block away, we order our drinks and sit down. “Alright, great. I’m nervous as fuck now.”

“You’ll be fine. We’ll be at a table nearby if you need anything, alright?” I take a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“Okay. You know I really care about you guys, right? I know I may be a smartass and even an asshole at times, but you both know I love you to pieces, right?”

“Well yeah, of course!” Joe says.

“But if by the end of this conversation, Seb wants to make me his sex slave…I love you, nice knowing you, I’m going to go live my life!” I laugh out loud. We talk for 20 more minutes, then out of the corner of my eye I see Seb come in. He’s wearing black skinny jeans, a form fitting black shirt and a black cardigan. His blue eyes just...pop when he wears black. Between the beard, floofy hair and the cardigan he looks so soft. SO sexy. I just wanna...

“Perfect timing. We will just be over there, okay?” Cory says, getting up.

“We can’t stay for the conversation?” Joe whines. Cory grabs Joe by the ear.

“Time to go, Joey.” They start walking to the table nearby.

“But MAAAAA!!!!” Seb snorts quietly and approaches the table and sits across from me. 

“You’re friends with those people?” Seb entreats with a grin.

“Well...once you get to know me more, you won’t find it so surprising that I associate myself with people like them, haha!”

“Are they dating? They seem to give off that vibe.” Seb asks.

“No, as a matter of fact, some people will think we’re a triad because we are around each other so much, but we’re all just really good friends. Have been for years. Also I’d never do polyamory again so there’s that.”

“Oh you’ve been in a poly dynamic before?”

“Yeah, and I find nothing wrong with poly as long as everyone is consenting, getting their needs met, etc. you live your life the best way you can, and poly can indeed be healthy and work out. I’ve seen it happen. It’s just that I’ve been in a very toxic, abusive poly situation and I can’t and won’t put myself through that again. Anyway, sorry. Too deep too soon I’m sure!” Seb shakes his head. 

“No, not at all! We’ve all been through our own personal hell and back, I understand. I am going to get coffee though, because I need caffeine in my system, so I will be right back.”

“Okay, sounds good!”

********************************************************************************

I go up to the counter and make my order. Molly is sitting there on her phone. I’m having conflicted feelings about being here to see a fan, but I put that in the back of my mind for now. I can’t stop looking at her. She’s so gorgeous. I didn’t think my weakness for goth/punk girls would follow me into my late 30s but...fuck. I get my order and sit down across from her.

“So…” I say, licking my lips nervously.

“So…” We look at each other and laugh. “You wanted to talk kink, right?”

“Right, right I did. But I feel like in order to get more comfortable with you and the topic at hand, maybe getting to know you a little bit as well if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course! I’m more than okay with that. I’m an open fucking book, ask me anything.”

“First and foremost. What did you order?” I furrow my brow and she chuckles.

“How is that important?”

“It’s important because I want to know what you like and how you like your coffee. Says a lot about a person.” She smiles softly.

“Well, if you have to know, it’s a cinnamon dolce latte. What about you?” she asks as she circles her finger around the rim of the giant crimson mug.

“Just some black coffee and almond milk.” She narrows her eyes at me.

“Oof.”

“Oof?”

“Oof.” she repeats.

“Why ‘oof’ Miss Molly?”

“I mean that sounds a little lackluster to me, Seb.” She takes a sip of her drink, never taking her eyes off me. 

“Listen, I can’t help if I like what I like, okay?” I laugh a little. 

“Fair, fair.” She nods a little. “Okay then, Mr. Lackluster.” I glare at her playfully.

“You really ARE a brat, aren’t you?” I smile as she giggles under her breath.

“Oh Seb you have no clue what I’m capable of.” I mean, I would like to have a clue…

“I believe you. The sassiness is just radiating off you.” She crosses her arms and smirks as I lean back in my chair a bit and take a sip of my drink.

“Perfect then.” She responds quietly. I shake my head and put my drink down. 

“You know your mouth may get you in biiiig trouble one day.” 

“Who’s to say it hasn’t already?” We stare at each other for a beat.

“Oh yeah, I think we’ll get along quite well.” I say. She smiles. Her smile is so contagious.

“Well good, I’m glad. I was afraid I’d come off too strong.” 

“No, not at all. Where are you from?” She takes another sip of her coffee.

“I’m from a small ass town in Wisconsin.” She smiles as she takes her vest off revealing a low cut tank top. Good god…

“I would have pegged you for a northeastern girl, judging by the sass.”

“Ahhh. No, but my mom is from there though.”

“Oh nice. Any siblings?”

“One older brother. I’d take a bullet for him in a heartbeat.” I point a finger at her nodding in agreement.

“Fucking priorities, my dear.” She gives a side smile.

“Fucking priorities is right.” She responds.

“Are you involved in any romantic endeavors currently?” I ask. She tilts her head to the side, cocking her eyebrow.

“Is Sebastian Stan asking if I’m single?” My cheeks get hot. She smirks and bites her lower lip. “I am not involved in any romantic endeavors, no. I am currently single. I have a question to ask you now.”

“Shoot.” I take another sip.

“Now, seeing as at this moment I have the chutzpah to ask this, I won’t let it pass by without asking it. Is this a date?” I choke on my drink and start coughing.

“Wh-what?” she laughs hysterically as my response.

“You heard me! Haha! Are you okay?” I laugh and clear my throat.

“Yeah I am, I was just caught off guard by that!” How do I answer that question? I mean it is a date, I just...should I be honest and say yes?

“I mean my friends were saying how they thought it was a date, but I said that was impossible because I didn’t think I was your type anyway.” She’s kidding right?

“Well to be honest. Yes I did ask you on a date. And so far, you are my type. I kind of have a soft spot for punk and goth girls who don’t take any shit, so…” Her mouth is ajar. Did I say something wrong?

“This _is_ a date?” She asks.

“Yeah, I mean I was hoping you would want it to be but it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be one.” I say just as fast as my mind is racing.

“No, no I mean I’m flattered, and you’re fucking gorgeous and such a good guy and...really? Me? Ask me on a date? Lil’ ol’ 29 year old me on a date?” She inquires.

“Well yeah. You definitely caught my eye. You’re really cute. Beautiful. Interesting. And 29 isn’t old.” I laugh. 

“Well. I’m glad we’re on the same page then, because I would be lying if I said I didn’t hope this was a date.” I smile and get flustered.

“I am also glad. Now that that is established, kink.” She grins, taking another sip of her drink.

“Yes. Kink. What do you want to know? I do a hell of a lot better with questions, so throw them at me and I will to the best of my ability answer them. I also will only be answering them according to my experiences and my opinions, so I won’t speak for everyone, only for myself.”

“Okay,” I say, “How long have you been into kink and BDSM?” 

“I’ve been mentally kinky for over ten years, but have been actively kinky for four years.” I nod.

“And what do you mean by mentally verses active, like you have thought about it for so long but didn’t start acting on it until four years ago?” 

“Exactly.”

“What kinds of things do you do kink wise?” I ask, biting my lip.

“Well,” she starts, “I’m a masochist. I like physical pain, though it isn’t only limited to that. But physical pain is a big part of my masochism.”

“What kind of pain do you like?” She chuckles softly.

“Well Mr. Stan, let me get my list, ha! Um. Thuddy pain is my absolute favorite. I also love stingy...” I interrupt her.

“And this is being smacked with, like paddles?”

“Yes, among other things.” She smiles and rubs her hands together.

“Other things like what?” I smirk.

“Ohhhhhh like wooden spoons, leather and suede floggers, denim floggers, canes, dragon tail whips, wooden and nerf baseball bats, fists, hands, a number of custom toys, a small cast iron skillet from Cracker Barrel…” My eyes grow wide.

“Whoa! Wait, a small what from where?” She snickers.

“A lot of people get stuck on that one. But yes, a small cast iron skillet from Cracker Barrel.”

“Alright, mind officially blown. Also holy shit, your pain threshold sounds high as hell. What does the Winter Soldier paddle feel like?” I ask.

“That fucker is stingy as hell and I love it. But with stingy things, I need a warm up with thuddy things first, so, not a great idea to start a scene with the Winter Soldier.” I chuckle under my breath.

“No, it never is…” I cock my eyebrow at her and she bites her lower lip.

“Of course, I wouldn’t mind having a scene with only the Winter Soldier…” She smirks a little.

“Are you talking about Bucky or are you talking about me now?” She looks away and looks back, flushed.

“Yes.” She says, grinning. I shake my head and look down laughing, my face turning red and warmth radiating through my body. She’s kind of getting me hot right now…the images going through my head.

“Not only are you a brat, but you’re a bit of a tease too, aren’t you?” She has a puzzled look on her face.

“Now Sebastian, what in the world would make you think that?” She winks at me and I roll my eyes.

“Smartass.” I mumble.

“How did you know my middle name?” I laugh and just look at her. She really is fucking great.

“Another question, you say it’s not limited to the physical pain, what do you mean by that?” I take my final sip of my drink and set my empty mug down.

“I like emotional masochism, so humiliation and degradation are things I love as well.”

“Aren’t humiliation and degradation the same thing? Or no?” I ask.

“You ask really good fucking questions, I just want to point that out!”

“Well thanks! Yay!” She giggles and takes a sip of her drink.

“So, humiliation play and degradation play do overlap, but from my understanding, from my own definition and experience, and all of that can differ from person to person, humiliation is more about embarrassment while still retaining that individual's personhood and self worth, whereas degradation is dehumanizing and lowering someone's self-worth. Although, as I said, they can overlap. So something can be both humiliating and degrading, but not always.” I furrow my brow, taking it all in.”Are you following, do I need to slow down?”

“Oh no, no you’re good, that makes a lot of sense actually! I just need a moment to take it all in.” 

“Sometimes when I talk about kink and BDSM to someone who only knows so much about it, I can sometimes let out a bigger load on them than I think it’s going to be.” She smiles and I snort when she says that.

“Same though…” I respond, hoping she’ll catch on. She leans forward, propping her elbows on the table with her hands on her cheeks. She bites her lip again. 

“Oh? I’m intrigued. I do wish to know more…” Fuck. Me. Now. I lean forward into the same position.

“I bet you do.” I wink at her. I sit back in my seat. “So what is it about receiving pain that you love so much about it? Is it an adrenaline rush? Is it sexual? Is it just...fun to get hurt?” I chuckle.

“All of the above.” She smiles slyly. “Um. so science lesson. For all of us, endorphins bind to opiate receptors to relieve pain, and since the BDSM play I take part in involves a heavy dose of physical masochism, endorphins are the most common neurotransmitters produced. And when you produce enough of that, the sub or bottom can go into a state called subspace, which is comparative to runner’s high. Have you ever gotten runner’s high before Seb?” I nod, totally captivated by her intelligence.

“That I have.”

“And how does that feel for you?” I think for a minute.

“A little floaty? Euphoric almost. I end up really feeling the pain the next day though, that’s for sure.” She nods and smiles.

“That’s how subspace feels. You basically get drunk off of your own endorphins and you get into a state where you tolerate more than you would in your normal headspace. And when you come off that high, that’s usually when the pain and sub drop kicks in.” I run my hands through my hair and my beard nervously, afraid to ask a stupid question

“And I have heard of sub drop, but I don’t really know what that entails.” She smiles.

“I do love enlightening people. So sub drop is comparative to...kind of a caffeine crash. The physical aspects are comparable at least. Sub drop can involve, but not always, really low lows, and depression, agitation, sadness, fatigue, etc. and you need to take proper measures before your scene to prepare yourself for it, and that’s when aftercare really is a beautiful thing. And Tops and Dom/mes can have the same thing as well, they aren’t exempt from it unfortunately.”

“And aftercare is taking care of yourself or the other person after a scene.” I say.

“Ahhhh, you’re a smart cookie, you’re catching on quick!” She says as she pushes her glasses up.

“But, if you know that you’re going to basically feel like crap the next day or so after a scene, why do you do it in the first place?”

“Why do I do it? For me, it’s a type of high I can’t get with anything else. I know I sound like a drug addict, let me finish.” I titter softly in reaction. “It’s therapeutic for me. When I walk into a dungeon and I get on that spanking bench and am getting flogged to a steady beat played by our incredible DJ, I relax. I’m in a state of mind I am never in in any other scenario. It’s also a level of vulnerability that I feel comfortable enough to be in with my kinky peers, because I trust them so deeply with my wants and my desires and my limits and boundaries. The kink community I am a part of, I love them with all my heart. I trust them with all my heart, and I know a large majority of them would never harm me. Hurt me? Yes, in a consensual manner. But never harm.” I take a deep breath and place my hand on my neck.

“Wow. If that isn’t a knowledge bomb, I don’t know what is.” She laughs hardily and looks at me.

“You okay there? I know I unleashed a big load on you.” she winks. I narrow my eyes at her.

“You know what, if you don’t stop with the smartassery here, I might unleash a load on you.”

“Oh Seb, don’t tempt me with a good time…” she says with a cheeky grin and her tongue sticking out slightly.

“Fucking asshole.” I say sarcastically.

“I mean I’m not into that personally, but thanks for trying.” She says and I facepalm myself.

“So can I ask you about more of your own kinks? Fetishes?” 

“Go right ahead!” 

“So what do you think is the oddest fetish you have?” I ask.

“Ahh, so you’re just coming right in with the big guns, aren’t you? Well it isn’t going to be extreme or anything you might be thinking, which is why I think it’s really odd. It’s something I’ve recently come to terms with. But...cheirophilia.” My face scrunches up with confusion.

“A whatty who-who? What?” She cackles.

“Cheirophilia is hand fetishism.” My brows furrow.

“I didn’t know that was a thing.” 

“Oh yeah! If it exists, there is at least one person out there who has a fetish for it, I guarantee it.”

“So like...sand?” I ask.

“I’m sure of it.” she responds.

“Pillows?” 

“Mhm!”

“Coffee, hands, masochism?” I inquire.

“Okay, now I just feel attacked, how dare you?” She says as she glares at me and grins.

“Okay so...what about my hands then? If I dare be so bold to ask?”

“Oh don’t get me started unless you want me to be a puddle on this floor, Seb.” I ponder for a minute.

“Okay...so my hands, what about them?” She snorts and covers her bright red face.

“Oh my fucking god. Okay well, can I see them? It would be better for me to look at them while I tell you why I love your hands.” She laughs. I extend both my hands to her. “Is it okay to touch them?” 

“Yeah of course.” She lifts one of my hands off the table and holds it in both of hers.

“Okay, so...you have really beautiful pianist hands. Slender fingers, but strong.” She gently caresses and strokes my fingers. “I like the nail beds on hands, too, I don’t know why, don’t ask! But I do love yours. You don’t bite your fingernails either, which is a plus for me. I’m a sucker for the backs of your hands personally, because of the veins that can protrude and go up your forearms and I just. Gahh, it drives me up a wall.” She chuckles softly. I can see the lust in her eyes the longer she stares. She bites her lip. “Your hands are also incredibly soft to the touch, my god. But it isn’t just what I physically see here it’s...hmmm….” She seems hesitant to continue.

“It’s what?” I ask.

“I...feel like that would be going into territory you would feel uncomfortable with because it’s...what I imagine your hands doing...to me…” I lean forward, intrigued.

“Tell me.” I say in a serious tone under my breath. She bites her lip and also leans forward a bit, her face about six inches away from mine.

“Well,” She says in a low, sensual voice, “Hands are the primary source of touch, and they can touch the human body in many places in many different ways. Like you can delicately place your hand on the small of my back.” She touches each of my fingers on both hands so softly... “You could cleverly place the crook of your index finger under my chin, tilt my head up, making sure I am looking at you and you have my undivided attention. You could aggressively latch onto my hips as you pin me against the wall, using firm pressure to work your way up my sides, then digging your fingernails into my skin and scratching back down.” She gently grazes her nails up and down on my palms, causing a small hitch in my breath and a tentative shift in my chair. My skinny jeans start to feel skinnier in a certain region. “You could intertwine your fingers with mine in the heat of passion, let me know you care. Graze your thumb lightly over my lips as I roll my tongue over it, really kicking my oral fixation into high gear. You could roughly wrap your hand around my neck and apply pressure, you could gently run your fingers through my hair, grab my ass and press me tightly against your arousal to show me where I belong…there’s a lot of things hands can do, and there are a lot of reactions you can get out of me depending on how and where you touch.” I find myself having to catch my breath and clear my throat when she finishes.

“And how would you react?” I ask. I feel like we are the only ones here in our own little world as we’re teasing each other and turning each other on. 

“Well Seb. Some questions are just best answered with actions, not words.” 

“Oh?” I ask.

“Oh.” She says in agreement with a smirk. I hold my hand up to her face, almost coming into contact with it.

“Can I?” She side eyes my hand and then back at me.

“Yes. Just know I am not to be held responsible for whatever actions take place here in public.” She says. Her eyes glazed over as she looks into mine. I trace my fingertips over her cheeks and she closes her eyes and lowers her face but I grab her chin and pull it back up to face me. I run my thumb over her lips and her tongue flicks over it. Her mouth ajar, letting out a soft whimper.

“I really just want to kiss you…” I blurt out softly. She opens her eyes and smiles.

“I’m not stopping you.” I close my eyes and hover my lips by hers for a second just to tease, then I press my lips firmly against hers. She cups my face, running her fingers over my beard as she opens her mouth inviting my tongue in. She whimpers into the kiss and I end it before I get too into it. We both open our eyes and laugh. Molly covers her mouth and blushes and I take off my cardigan and put it in my lap.

“Um. I won’t be able to stand up for a bit…” Molly chuckles under her breath.

“And this is why I am glad I don’t have a dick.”

********************************************************************************

Cory, Joe and I are walking back to our respective hotel rooms and I’m on cloud nine. I keep going over in my mind what happened tonight. He’s so sweet. He really seems genuine and like he’s honestly interested in me. He kissed me. But I’ve been through this before, I’ve been through this kind of treatment before, where the guy is sweet at first and then just turns into a manipulative, abusive asshole, or just doesn’t want to see me again. But it’s Seb, he wouldn’t be an asshole. But he is a human being and humans can be assholes. But it’s Seb….AHHH. Why can’t I just take tonight for what it is, which it was a great night, great conversation, very in depth...that kiss though...that was...I...I’m just so in the mood for him right now, and I feel ridiculous because of it, because I guess I still don’t feel like I’m worth it because of my last relationship. It’s a fucking mess inside my brain. My phone buzzes and I look down at it. It’s a message from Seb.

 _“Hey, would it be too much if I called tonight? I really would like to hear your voice again. I miss it.”_ I smile at my phone. Luckily I have a room all to myself so I won’t disturb anyone.

 _“Yeah, of course! Just let me settle into bed and we can talk.”_ I reply. I take my clothes off, wash my face and throw on my black and red nightie and crawl into bed. I lie there for a moment to let tonight sink in. That...that really did happen, all of it. Holy shit. I text Seb letting him know he could call. Ah man. Anything I would give to be in bed with him right now just kissing him and cuddling with him though. My phone rings and I answer it.

“Well hello there, handsome.”

“Hey you.” He says and I smile. 

“Are you sure it’s just my voice you miss?” I hear him laugh. 

“I also miss your lips on mine. I had to end it, otherwise...yeah.”

“Otherwise what?” I ask, wrapped up in the comforter.

“Otherwise I think it would have eventually escalated to something a little risque for a public place..” He says, and snickers. 

“Good move on your part.” I respond with a smile.

“I know we just met today, but I feel like I’ve known you far longer than that. It’s crazy. Maybe it’s just because we hit it off really well, and the kiss. I just. I really like you. We really seem to compliment each other well so far I think. Am I being too forward by saying that?” I shake my head and put him on speaker. 

“No, not at all! It’s coincidental because I’m thinking the same way and I thought I was nuts for thinking that. Plus, my friends were teasing me about the kiss, saying it was like watching softcore porn.” I say and he laughs softly. There’s a short pause and I sigh heavily. “Is it weird to say I wish you were here right now? Because I want you next to me.”

“No, because I want you here too. But, I had another question, but not kink related.”

“I am all ears.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say all ears, seeing as you have quite an ass so…” I roll my eyes and smirk. 

“So you were looking?” I purse my lips and narrow my eyes at my phone on the bed.

“At every opportunity, I won’t lie. But your face I could look at all day though.” I laugh loudly.

“HA. Good save, Sebastian, good save. Anyway, your question.”

“Yeah, so I wanted to ask this on our date, but I wasn’t sure if it was off limits to talk about.”

“I think I know where you’re going with this, and no it isn’t off topic at all. The cane right?” I ask and smile.

“Yeah, I was wondering about that, but I didn’t want to come off as rude or anything.”

“Oh god no! You’re not being rude at all. So I was born with my physical disability, I have cerebral palsy. It affects my legs, obviously, but not anything else. I just hobble around like Frankenstein’s monster, no big deal. Heh!” I hear him make a small heckle.

“Ha! Well, I was curious, that’s all. At least you know the difference between Frankenstein and his monster though.”

“Of course. When someone says they’re Frankenstein for Halloween I always have to be that buzzkill and say, ‘Well actually you’re his monster.’”

“Oh I like you even more now. I can definitely be a buzzkill when it’s needed. So, okay. Favorite food?”

“Mac and cheese. You?”

“Hmmm….peanut butter.”

“Ooo, yes. Chocolate and peanut butter.” I say excitedly.

“Ahhhh yeeeessss. Crush up a chocolate bar in a jar of peanut butter and I’m good to go for the evening.” I laugh hard.

“I do love chocolate and fruit, that’s generally a good combo.” I respond.

“What kind of fruit though? And what kind of chocolate? Also...fruit and cheese, what’s your opinion on that?” 

“Hmmm….Strawberries and cherries for sure. Cherry cordials are just...unf. Like when you bite into the chocolate and the cherry goo stuff just fills your mouth and it’s just...it’s a fuckin’ experience, my dude. Also, you’re asking a Wisconsinite on her opinion of cheese. Haha!” I say, and he laughs in response.

“I...I don’t know whether to be hungry or horny after that statement, so I will take a bit of both. And...touché.”

“You’re such a fucking smartass.” I say, giggling softly, taking him off speaker.

“What? You say, ‘goo stuff fills your mouth’ and I just get images in my head, okay? I can’t help it…” Mmm. I can’t seem to get images out of my head either now. “Are you alone in your hotel room right now?” He asks. Now I want to know what he’s imagining.

“I am. Joe, Cory and I got separate hotel rooms right next to each other. Cory makes a lot of money and she offered to pay for the rooms. Plus we tried coexisting in a hotel room for cons a few times and it always ended up being a nightmare, so we just got separate hotel rooms this time around.”

“Ahhh! It must be lonely sometimes.”

“I mean. It does, but it doesn’t get too lonely. I mean I have things to keep me occupied.” I glance over at one of my bags at the end of the bed that has a glass dildo in it. “Wish you were here though. I miss your face.” 

“I wish you were here as well. I could occupy you with some stuff though.” A sly smile crosses my face.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” 

“Liiiike cuddling you, and kissing all over your face, and telling you how pretty you are, and kissing your pretty lips. Maybe grab your butt a little here and there, heh.”

“Just my butt?” I ask.

“Just your butt. Unless you want more. I personally want to put my hands all over you. Oh, oops! I hit a weak spot there, didn’t I?” He snickers. I narrow my eyes and then look around in my bag for the dildo.

“Mmm. You did, you evil man, you.” 

“I’m...terribly sorry.”

“No you’re not you asshole.” I say, still searching in my bag.

“What are you doing over there? I’m hearing rustling.” He asks while chuckling.

“Um. I’m looking for something for later, that’s all.” I say playfully.

“Something for later? What is it? And what is happening later?” he asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say teasingly and I bite my lip.

“I mean I would love to know, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I take the “S” shaped sculpture out of the velvet bag and look at it, letting out a whimper.

“It’s something fun.” I respond with a smirk.

“It’s gotta be something fun if you’re making noises like that.” His voice is lower, quieter, a little more breathy. It’s making my core tremble and my brain becomes filled with nothing but dirty thoughts.

“Well...I’m not doing anything with it right now. Later, definitely. But not now. Oh I never told you what it was, did I?”

“You did not, no.”

“Well, it is a toy of the glass variety. One of my favorites, personally.”

“Oh. So what will you be doing with this glass toy later? What will you be thinking about?” Just his voice alone is making me squirm.

“I’ll be doing some stuff that may or may not make a mess. And I’ll be thinking about you.”

“Fuck, I want you here so badly right now. Can I ask you something?”

“Mmmmhmmm. You may.” I sit up in bed and bring my knees up under my chin.

“What are you wearing? If anything?” I bite my lip and feel my entire body flush.

“I’m wearing a silky red and black slip. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just for some imagination to use later, that’s all.” He says slyly.

“And what is on your agenda for the evening after this conversation?”

“I have a situation that’s getting harder to deal with by the minute. I’m going to have to get a grip on it after this conversation.” We immediately burst into laughter. “Oh my god that sounded so stupid!” 

“Well, it isn’t so stupid with the image I have in my head.” My core is involuntarily pulsing so fucking much and I’m trying really hard to hold back my whimpers, so far succeeding. Or at least to a point where Seb isn’t noticing anyway. 

“Mmm. What’s going through that mind of yours, huh? I really really want to know…”

“Well I’m imagining you over there wearing some boxer briefs leaving very little to the imagination, maybe feeling yourself at times to relieve some tension, but struggling sooo much to not blow your load right now.”

“That’s very accurate, except for the boxer briefs part.” 

“Oh? What are you wearing then?” I wait for a response, but all I hear is silence. “Seb?”

“What?” 

“What are you wearing?” I repeat.

“What did I say?”

“Well, you said nothing.” He snickers quietly.

“Exactly.” I facepalm myself because of how much of a fucking dork he is.

“Oh my god Seb, you are the perfect mixture of ridiculousness and sexiness I swear.” I bite my lip.

“You have no idea how badly I want you.” he says. I hear movement on his end and then I hear him grunt a little bit.

“Fuck, Seb. Whatever you’re doing, you are not helping my situation over here with those noises. It doesn’t help that I'm an audiophile.” I hear him moan and I swear I’m so close without even doing anything. “Nnnnnhhh! Seeeeb!”

“You doing okay over there?” He teases. I growl at him. 

“I’m trying so hard to not use my toy right now…”

“Mmmhh, well that’s payback for earlier. And now, I shall leave you on that note, because quite frankly I’m not going to be able to contain myself much longer and I have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“Awww. Okay. Have a good night Seb. Oh Seb?”

“Yeeeesss?” 

“Can you...do something for me? And if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” I say.

“What is it, Molls?” He asks.

“Can you send me a picture?” I say blushing.

“Of what?” He asks. I can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Anything. Anything is fair game. Surprise me. I’ll do the same.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll surprise you then.” I bite my lip and whimper softly.

“Good night Seb. Sleep well.” I say.

“You too Molly. And oh, I definitely will.”


	2. #SebastianStanIsOverParty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the coffee date and the phone call last night, Seb and Molls are in complete and utter bliss. But what happens the next morning when reality hits them like a Tweet filled garbage truck?

I wake up the next morning at about six. I check my phone and have two new photo messages from Molly. She must have sent them after I fell asleep, because I didn’t receive them before I went to sleep. I open them. It’s one of her in her red and black slip and the other one is...unf. Fuck. The other one is a picture of her glass dildo just covered in her cum, saying, _“I told you I would do some fun stuff that may or may not make a mess…”_ I sent her two pictures of my own last night, the photos being of my fingers wrapped around my cock, though covering my member to be a tease; and the other being of the aftermath of my...fun...on my chest and stomach. Seeing as she’s an audiophile, I took it upon myself to send her a few voice memos of me moaning as well. I hope she had fun last night with all of the material I gave her. I send her a text saying, _“good morning beautiful”_ and get ready for the day. She texts me back.

_“Good morning handsome man! Ugh why am I up this early?! Cons fuck up my sleep schedule so much…”_

_“I can pick up coffee if you want. If you don’t mind letting me know where you are of course. Otherwise I can give it to you at the con.”_ I text back. Right after I get dressed, I get a phone call from my manager Emily.

“Hey, what’s up?” I say.

“Hey, so we need to talk about some things, Seb.” she says in a very stern tone.

“Okay, like what?” There’s silence on her end, followed by a heavy sigh.

“Listen, I know you are going to do what you want, and I know that when you’re interested in someone, you go all in. But you need to think about the repercussions here for this particular situation, Sebastian. A fan? Do you know how that looks to outsiders? Now, I know you don’t mean harm to her. I know you are not that kind of person. But not everyone is me. Not everyone knows you the way I do.” I chew on my lip nervously and realize how what I had been doing could look to people who don’t know the situation.

“Shit.” I respond with some panic in my voice. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m not...I’m not leading her on though. I’m not manipulating...I honest to god am interested in her and really like her.” I sit down and rest my elbow on my knee, my face in my left hand.

“I know Seb, I know. I just hope your fans, employers, both present and future realize that. You know you’ve never been involved in any real bullshit drama or problems with the media, and you need to think about all the potential outcomes and risks here if you’re going to continue pursuing this woman.” I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth a few times.

“How...how did you even find out?” I ask nervously.

“I was walking by the coffee shop yesterday when I saw her grabbing your hand, and I recognized her from earlier that day. You’re lucky no one is saying anything about it.” Yeah, I definitely am. “I’m not saying you can’t see her. You’re a grown ass man and you can make your own decisions. What I am saying is to weigh out the pros and cons of continuing to see her. People could think she’s a gold digger. They could think you coerced her, or that you even assaulted her. People think some pretty fucked up things, Seb.” I take what she says into consideration. I almost come to the conclusion to not see her, as I don’t want to put my career in jeopardy.

“But I really want to see where this goes with her. Em, I know it sounds crazy, because I only met her not even 24 hours ago, but I really feel something for her.” I run my hand through my hair nervously.

“We will talk about this later, okay? All three of us if she wants to join, which I strongly suggest she does.” 

“Okay…” I say glumly. 

“Please try to put this in the back of your mind today and have fun alright? We’ll talk about this at the end of the weekend.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” I hang up and see the text from Molls, telling me what hotel and what room number. I sit and think for a few minutes about whether I should go or not. But I decide fuck it. I’m going. I want to see her. I respond to her asking her what she wants, and head to Starbucks.

I walk down the hall to her hotel room and I knock on the door.

“Helloooo?” I say quietly. She opens the door and lets me in. “Hey you!” I say and she smiles. She sits at the end of the bed and I put our coffees on the table across from her and lean against it. I look at her for what seems like the longest time and my heart melts. She’s wearing black leggings, a black tank top and a winter soldier zip up hoodie. 

“Is there something wrong Seb?” She asks.

“There is.” I walk over to her, mount her and take her glasses off. “It’s been far too long since the last time your lips were on mine.” She smiles and I cup her face in my hands and close my eyes. I move forward to kiss her but she moves back. I open my eyes and look at her and cock my eyebrow.

“What?” She asks snidely.

“Miss Molly, are you being a tease with me?” She shakes her head no.

“Yes.” I glare at her playfully. I grab her by the chin and tilt her head up.

“You know if you tease me, I will tease right back, right?” She then moves to kiss me, but I pull back. She whines desperately. “Aww. You can dish it out but you can’t take it?” She bites and tugs on my lower lip.

“Please kiss me or I will explode, I swear to god.” I look into her dark brown eyes and see the hunger building.

“You’ll explode like you did last night?” She whimpers softly.

“I’ll only explode like that if you kiss me.” She trails her delicate hands up my inner thighs and I don’t hesitate to kiss her roughly when she does. I cradle her little face with my hands again and kiss her hard enough to push her onto the bed. She wraps her arms around my middle and I unzip her hoodie and run my hands up and down her stomach and sides over her tank top, making her back arch into my touch. I slide my tongue in her mouth and she moans softly, sending a wave of pleasure through my body to my hardening cock. I kiss down her neck, making her tremble a little bit. I run my hands up her sides and start trailing back down when she grabs them and places them on her breasts. I massage them as I bite down on her collarbone, making her shriek. 

“You okay there?” I giggle softly. I look at her and run my fingers through her hair, kissing her flushed face.

“More than okay. I don’t really think I need the coffee to wake up anymore though. Also…” She kisses me again and I slide my tongue in her mouth, “your kisses are just as slutty in real life as they are on screen.” She snickers.

“Mmmm...I’d like to say they’re sluttier, because I’m kissing someone I care about as opposed to kissing someone I’m working with.” 

“So, you don’t care about the people you work with? Wow, how insensitive.” I shake my head and smirk.

“You know what I mean, you smartass. My coffee is getting cold by the way, SO.” 

“And whose fault is that? You initiated this whole thing here.” She says.

“Not my fault you’re so pretty and I want to kiss you all the time.” I run my thumb across her mouth and she playfully pushes it away.

“Not my fault you decided to get a hot coffee. And you put your hands anywhere near my mouth…” I run my thumb across her lips again, and she whimpers softly.

“Yeah? Or what?” I ask. She runs her tongue against my thumb softly.

“Or else you’ll have to cancel all your plans for today, boy.” 

“Hands really _do_ turn you on, don’t they?” 

“Oh you have no fucking idea. You running your thumb over my mouth is the equivalence of your cock teasing my pussy…” She swings her legs out from under me and wraps them around my hips.

“And how would you know how that feels? We’ve yet to do anything like that.” I press my hardening member against her and she lets out a quiet groan. 

“I’m not sure, I can only assume. And ‘yet’ you say?” I wink and hold her close, kissing all over her face. I get up and hand her her coffee and heat mine up.

“I take it this is the reason you got iced coffee.” She sits cross-legged on the bed, back leaning her back against the headboard.

“Mmm one of them. I had a feeling we’d be all over each other in some capacity when you first got here. But I do love my iced cinnamon dolce lattes, so I mean…” I take my coffee and sit on the bed cross-legged in front of her. I lean forward and kiss her again.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty.” I say and she blushes.

“You’re prettier though.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Don’t you have to get going? It’s like 7:15.” 

“Not until at least 8:30, latest 9. But I’ll probably get going in an hour.” We sit in silence for about a minute, which gives me just enough time to have anxiety over my phone call with Emily set in. 

“Seb, are you okay?” Apparently I can never hide my feelings very well.

“Um...to be honest not really, we do need to talk.” Her eyes grow wide.

“Uh oh.” She sets her drink down on the side table. “Alright, what’s up?”

“Well I got a call from my manager before I got here.”

“Oh god...you’re not in trouble, are you?” I breathe in and out.

“...No? I don’t think so? She said she saw us at the coffee shop last night, and she recognized you from earlier that day. She said she’s concerned about what people would say about us if we were to continue to pursue this, and she wants to talk to us if you want to come.”

“What concerns? I mean I’m having some as well if we were to continue to pursue this.” I grab her hand.

“I’m all ears. What concerns do you have?” She sighs and looks off into the distance.

“Well, I’m afraid of what people will say as well. Will they think I coerced you? Will they think I pressured you? Or vice versa? Will they think because I’m a broke bitch from the midwest, I’m looking for a sugar daddy or something?” We laugh out loud. “Also what about the age difference between us? Even though you and I don’t see that as a big deal, it’s a nine year age gap and people may think insane things regarding that, you know? Or that you are abusing your position of being a celebrity and having a platform by manipulating me, a fan, or they blame me and say I’m being foolish to think…” She pauses and frowns a little, “To think you would ever be interested in someone like me.” She sighs. “I don’t know, the possibilities are endless as to what can happen. I mean what...what about your career? What about Marvel, and Bucky? Any other present and future acting gigs? I don’t think I’m worth you potentially taking a huge hit to your career, hon.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 

“Fuck…” I say under my breath. I start chewing my lip. She reaches her hand to my face, stroking my beard.

“Hey. Stop doing that. I want to kiss those lips later, mister, and they’re too pretty to be treated like that.” I chuckle softly in response.

“Well, I just. I don’t know. I don’t want to jeopardize my career. But I’m too fucking stubborn to just forget about you because I really like you. This is nuts, I haven’t even known you a full 24 hours and I’m already feeling close to you. Is this all moving too fast for you?” She shakes her head.

“No. I don’t think it is. Do you?” I look away for a second, thinking about what people will say...I don’t think we are going too fast either...but… “Seb. I know that look way too well. You’re thinking too much again. Look at me.” I look back into her eyes. She’s so beautiful. It’s like the moment I look at her my problems melt into the background and it’s just her and me in our own little world. I smile tiredly.

“I don’t think we are either. I just. I’m so worried about what others will think, which is utterly ridiculous, because I never worry about what other people think about me or my personal life, because my life is mine alone. All I know for a fact is that I really like you. I am interested. I want to continue to pursue this. I want to see where this goes. I want you. The moment I saw you yesterday my brain was filled with nothing but you. That’s it, I’m officially insane.” She chuckles.

“You’re not insane. If anything I think I’m insane. I’ve been through so much relationship hell, and quite frankly I’m scared shitless right now to continue pursuing this. I’m afraid of being heartbroken again. I’m afraid, and nothing against you personally, this is just my past coming back to haunt me, but I’m afraid I’ll be abused again, you know? I’m not an easy person to date. I have trauma, I’ve gone through some shit, and even though I work everyday to improve my way of living and managing my triggers and breaking old habits...it’s still there. It’s still something that affects me in one way or another everyday.” I take a sip of my drink and grab her hands.

“Well, no one is easy to date, Molls. We all have our own baggage. I’m an anxious mess sometimes and I’m way to fucking hard on myself. What matters is that you are taking steps to manage and overcome those obstacles to better yourself, and to stay empathetic and compassionate. Which it sounds like you’re doing. With me being the stubborn mule I am, I’m still interested and I still want to see where this goes personally.” She smiles warmly.

“I’m a lot to handle, Seb.” She responds.

“Yeah? So am I. I’ll bet I’m more to handle then you are.” I say sarcastically.

“Oh? This a competition now, asshole?” She tilts her head to the side and smirks. I put my coffee on the side table and I kiss her. I grab her hips and lie her down on the bed in one swift motion. She wraps her legs around my waist as I kiss down her neck.

“Soooo what did you think of those pictures I sent last night, huh?” She whimpers in response.

“Mmmmfff~ So fucking hot, but those voice memos were what took me over the edge.” I dig my nails into her sides, she moans softly as I slip my fingers under her shirt. 

“Oh yeah? How hard did you fuck yourself with your toy last night?” She bites her lip and blushes.

“Hard enough that I’m feelin’ it the next day...but you never saw the best part, which happened while you were getting coffee.” I smirk and purse my lips. 

“Mmmm, so you were getting off while I was getting coffee?” She pulls the comforter back to reveal a decent sized wet spot on the sheets.

“You could say that, yeah…” She smiles and blushes.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna need housekeeping to come by to change the sheets and such.” She pulls the comforter back.

“So, basically we’re lying and making out in your cum?” She shrugs and giggles.

“I mean kind of, yeah. Heh. That isn’t a turn off for you, is it?” She trails her fingers under my shirt and lightly touches my stomach with just the tips.

“Fuck no...God I wish I would have been a fly on the wall to watch you last night and this morning.” I feel up her shirt and touch her soft skin. I kiss down her chest and bite down.

“Mmmhhh~ Right back at you though. That load you blew last night though…” She kisses me and thrusts her tongue in my mouth and whimpers, “I was thinking, ‘What a shame that it isn’t on or in me right now.’” I growl in response and bite her neck, hoping to not leave a mark. I grab her by the neck and smirk.

“I swear if you keep talking like that you will be a marked up mess.”

“Ohhh what a threat that is.” she says snarkily and giggles. I look at her and melt again and let go of her throat and kiss all over her face.

“Why are you so cute?”

“It’s the Jew in me.” she chuckles. I roll off her and snuggle close.

“I didn't know you were Jewish.” She turns to face me and kisses my cheek.

“Yessiry. By blood though, not religion.”

“Same here though.” I smile softly.

“I’m a Jew, went to catholic school in elementary school, and turned out to be an atheist. Talk about a clusterfuck.” I laugh and run my fingers through her hair, getting lost in thought.

“I don’t want to let this go.” I mutter.

“What do you mean Seb?” 

“I mean...I don’t want to just leave this behind, I don’t want to not pursue this and always wonder, ‘What if?’ you know?”

“Me too. I really want to see where this takes us. But your career, hon.”

“Fuck that.” Her eyes get big and her jaw drops.

“Say what now? Are you saying ‘fuck that’ to your career for someone you haven’t even known a full 24 hours? Seb, come on now. Get ahold of yourself.” 

“I’m not saying it to my career, not at all. I’m just frustrated with this whole thing, and I’m getting anxiety just thinking about it.” She strokes my face with the back of her hand, soothing my whirling thoughts.

“Then let’s not think about it right now, okay? Let’s just live in this moment. Where are we right now?” I sigh and grab her hand.

“In your hotel room.”

“And what is happening?”

“I am lying next to a beautiful woman as she calms me down from an anxiety induced morning by stroking my unkempt beard that desperately needs shaving and using grounding techniques. I also have coffee on the side table over there that is probably once again cold because I could not leave said beautiful woman’s lips alone long enough to drink it,” she chuckles, “so now it’s probably going to taste like shit, but it’s worth it because I get to kiss this pretty little lady.” I kiss her nose, then her lips. 

“I really fucking like you, Seb.” I run my hand up and down her side. 

“I really fucking like you too, Molls.” I reach down and grab her butt and I sigh. “Finally. This is what I’ve been waiting for.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Why are you like this?” She asks.

“Because I love your ass. Is it a crime?” She snickers.

“No it is not. How does it feel?”

“Like the best ass I’ve ever grabbed.” I move my hand down the back of her thigh and pull her leg up around my hip and kiss her deeply.

“Oh! One thing.” I look at her and kiss her nose.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t shave your beard, I love it too much.” She strokes it with the palm of her hand and kisses my cheek.

“But babe it’s to the point where it just has to go. You don’t want to feel baby soft skin?”

“It would make neck kisses less fun, hehe!” I kiss her neck softly then quickly raspberry her, causing her to scream and laugh. “AHHHH SEB!!!”

“What don’t you like?!” I raspberry her again longer and she wriggles around and screams and laughs louder.

“SEB OH MY GOD!” I laugh along with her and when it subsides I stop to gaze at her. “You are looking at me quite a lot today. Any reason why?” she asks.

“You’re just really pretty. And you have the biggest most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen.” She blushes and hides her face. “Noooo you come back here!” She snuggles closely, laying her head on my chest.

“You called me ‘babe’.” I kiss the top of her head.

“Yes. I did. Is that okay?” She looks up at me and rubs my chest.

“It is. I was just caught off guard when you did.”

“Ah, well I guess get used to it then, heh. Also, back there when you said that a fan would think you are foolish for thinking I would ever be interested in someone like you...do you feel like that? Because you paused when you said that and looked a little sad.”

“Yeah, I do have those moments for sure where I think, ‘Why me? What is it about me that I stick out to him? What sets me apart? He’s a celebrity, I’m sure he has better things to do than just hang out with me.’ you know?” 

“Well, Why you? I think the better question is, ‘Why _not_ you?’ What is it about you that sticks out to me? Your style. Very punk rock. Your hair is fucking awesome, I wish I could pull off a fauxhawk like that. Your beautiful singing voice. You’re honest, you’re kind, compassionate, witty. You’re sarcastic, you’re sassy and bratty, and kinky and sexy as hell. You’re funny.” She blushes and hides her face with her hands but I pry them off and kiss her. “What sets you apart? So far it’s been the way you treat me. You treat me like a person. From the get go, you were very cool, calm and collected, you treated me like I was one of your people really. You’re very down to earth. You don’t treat me like I’m this higher tier god-like man, like I’m up on this pedestal, which can be difficult to find in general, you know? And you’re intelligent. God I love that. Intelligence is a must.” I pause and cradle her face. “Also the whole, ‘he’s a celebrity, he has better things to do’ thing is just…bullshit really. You know some people who aren’t celebrities have this misconception that famous people are on a whole other level totally separate from the rest of the world. And yes I make a decent chunk of change, and yes I live a...more lavish lifestyle than your average Joe. But I, and I can’t speak for everyone when I say this, but I myself do not take that for granted. But my point with all this damn rambling is that at the end of the day I’m just a man trying to get through. I’m just like you. I have flaws. I’m hard on myself. I have all the anxieties and depression in the world, I see a therapist, I have unhealthy coping mechanisms, bad habits, what have you. I take shits just like you do. And I like you.” I poke her nose. “Is it so hard to believe that a person who has flaws and poops like you can be interested in someone like you?” 

“Silly man. Girls don’t poop.” My brows furrow, and then I facepalm myself.

“Oh, I totally forgot that! Then what do you do?”

“It’s all like flowers and rainbows. The occasional unicorn, you know.”

“Unicorns come out of your ass? Wow! You should seek a medical professional for that, you know.” I say, chuckling.

“It’s only on occasion though! No need to worry!” She responds.

“Unicorns have horns though, are you not afraid of that perforating your colon or making a new asshole or anything?”

“Hmm...Nah.” She shrugs.

“Well alright then…” Suddenly we hear a loud knock at the door.

“MOLLY. COME OUT HERE NOW, IT’S SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT.” Cory yells from outside Molly's door. She sounds quite frantic. She gets out of bed and opens the hotel door a crack.

“What is it? Is everyone at home okay? What’s happening?” she asks almost just as panic-stricken.

“Is Seb with you?” Joe asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“Please, let us in. It's really important.” Cory says, sounding like she’s on the brink of tears, and Molly lets them in.

“Guys, what’s going on, you’re scaring me.” Joe hands her his phone and she looks at it.

“I think it would be better to show you than tell you, seeing as we don’t have the words.” A look of horror is on her face and the fear only increases the longer she looks.

“Molls, what is it?” 

“Um. Someone...someone posted pictures from our date last night, and a video of us kissing on Twitter. Thank god they can’t hear us talking, but...the responses are fucking barbaric.”

“Who the fuck would do this?!” I ask. I look at her and see tears forming in her eyes. “Give me the phone.” I put my hand out and she hands it over to me. I look at the responses.

 _“Why is he taking a fan out for coffee? Kind of irresponsible of him if you ask me.”_ One said. 

_“She’s not even Seb’s type, she’s fucking duleerious if she thinks he’s the least bit interested.”_ Another said. 

_“Whore.”_ Another said. 

_“I herd they went out for cofee to talk about S & M or smthng. Who knew Seb was into the kinky stuff? Maybe she's a dominatrix?”_

_“I feel so bad for Seb, humoring this delusional psycho. I mean, it's SO sweet of him to entertain her...but, like, what if he ends up locked up in this bitch's basement or something?”_

_“So ashamed of Seb for abusing his position of being a celeb and taking advantage of a fan.”_

_“ugly crippled goth bitch.”_

_“She must just want him for the money. Don’t let her get to you Seb!”_

_“I think I follow this girl on Twitter and her Sebastian Stan fan instagram accunt. Always being a slut and thirsting after Seb.”_

_“She was singing in line yesterday before she met Seb, her voice fucking blows.”_

_“Why does this bitcj look 16?”_

_“Must be a charity case like Make A Wish or something, I saw her at the con. Seb wouldn’t date a cripple. No one would.”_ I give Joe’s phone back and I shake my head in disgust. This shit should not be happening, and I’m ashamed of my fans right now. I look at Molls and she’s closed off, sitting in the fetal position with her head between her knees shaking. I wrap my arms around her and grab her hand. Cory and Joe surround her.

“Hey you.” I whisper in her ear. She turns to look at me. “Everything I said earlier, about you being kind, compassionate, witty, funny, beautiful. That still holds true. These people don’t know you. And I know that I don’t know you well either, but I do know more than they do. Fuck them. They don’t know how amazing and talented you are. They don’t know how kind you are. They’re judging you, me and the situation by a video and a few pictures.”

“I’m not afraid of the petty insults they have to say about my wardrobe or that I look ugly, or my disability. I’ve gotten that shit throughout my life. What I’m afraid of is what dirt they can dig up on me. I’m not your goody two shoes Jewish girl online Seb. I’m very sexually open, and I’m a prime target for all the slut shaming.”

“Then Cory and I will play bodyguards for you today. Tell people to fuck off every chance we get.” Joe says. Cory stands there with her arms crossed, shaking her head.

“You don’t deserve this harassment. Seb doesn’t either. We’re here for you guys, and we’re going to beat some asses if we have to today.” Cory responds. 

“Those assholes desperately need spell check too, goddamn.” I say. Molls snorts and laughs through her tears.

“Their spelling really is fucking terrible, isn’t it?” Molly says.

“That and they have the mentality of 13 year olds. This is why I don’t have Twitter, because of belligerent idiots like them.” I say. She sits up straight and wipes her tears. 

“Okay. Um. So what do we do about this situation?” Molly asks.  


“We just. Go to the con like usual, hope for the best? We get anyone looking suspicious, we take your cane and shish kebab them with it, yeah?” Joe suggests. I look at the time.

“Oh fuck, I know this is awful timing, but I have to go and meet fans and such. Fuck.” I look at Molls. “I will be busy, but I will text you and check in every chance I get, okay? See how you’re doing.” I hug her tightly. 

“Okay.” She says weakly. I kiss her deeply, tasting her tears as she cries more.

“It will be okay, okay? I’m going to make it so. Trust me.” I wipe her tears away and kiss her forehead.

“I trust you.” I smile.

“Don’t worry, I got this covered.”

********************************************************************************

I’m not sure what he means by that, but I’ll take his word for it. He says bye, kisses me again and hurries out of the hotel room. Once he leaves I burst into tears. 

“FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Joe and Cory sit on either side of me. 

“We’re here for you, okay?” Joe says.

“You know, I feel dumb. I feel so fucking dumb to think this could fucking work, you know? I’m so fucking stupid. His career is ruined because of my stupid fangirl ass. What does this mean for his future? His life is forever tarnished because of a fucking coffee date.” I ball my fists so tightly that when I relax them they cramp up. I claw at my thighs.

“Molly, I know it’s emotional right now. I know you’re in a fog, and I’m here for you, okay?” Joe says. “His career isn't tarnished, his life is not ruined. You guys found each other attractive, you hit it off, you went out on a date just like any two people would.” Cory wipes my tears away.

“I...I know. I just. I can’t help but blame myself for this. I feel like such a fucking idiot.” I tell them.

“But you aren’t an idiot and you aren’t to blame.” Cory explains. “We’re going to go to the con. We will have a good time. Not everyone knows it’s you.”

“Yeah, it could be any goth girl with a cane at the con, right? This is the one time I wish I blended in. What if Seb wants nothing to do with me after this?” Joe grabs my hands and looks at me.

“Molly, I can guarantee you that Seb isn’t going to drop you like a sack of potatoes. I know it sounds insane, but he seems head over heels already and y’all haven’t even known each other for a full 24 hours yet.”

“Plus he said he has this covered.” Cory reassures me. “I don’t exactly know what that means, but I trust his word.” My phone buzzes. It’s a message from Seb.

 _“You doing okay? I know it’s only been a few minutes, but I’m worried and I want you to be okay.”_ Joe looks over my shoulder and reads it.

“Now does that sound like a man who wants nothing to do with you?” Joe playfully nudges me and I laugh.

“No, I guess not.” Cory puts her hand on my back, rubbing it.

“Let’s go to the con. Take it one step at a time. You want to leave, let us know and we will get out of there.” I respond to Seb saying I’m doing pretty okay and that we are heading to the con. 

_“I looked at my instagram and it’s just full of a mix of supporters and asshats. I’m staying off Insta for awhile. Also I’m about to do a meet and greet and a lot of people are just staring...or maybe it’s just my brain telling me that. Fucking anxiety.”_ he replies. Great. Now I’m going to be the cause of him not giving fans the content they want from him for a while. Joe gets my boots and I put them on.

“You know, I just.” I pause, purse my lips and sigh heavily. “Fuck it. Let’s go. Treat it like any other day at a con. Let’s have a good time. Let me get some makeup on though.” I go into the bathroom to put on some makeup. Which is desperately needed because I feel like I just aged 50 years in a matter of 10 minutes. I text Seb as I’m putting on my face, saying that I’m sorry this is all happening, I’m sorry my stupid self got carried away and kissed him last night, blaming myself for everything like I always do. As I finish up with my highlighter and setting spray, he texts back.

 _“The meet and greet is going really well! Some people are saying how happy they were for us! And babe, you are not to blame for anything. No one’s at fault here. Please come to the con, I need to see your pretty brown eyes.”_ Well, at least the meet and greet is going well for him. Maybe it won’t be so bad going to the con after all.

“Okay, I’m ready to go. Seems like things are alright for Seb at the meet and greet. Maybe it won’t be so bad heading over then?” I tell Joe and Cory.

“That’s great! So, let’s go!” Joe exclaims. I take my bag and we leave the hotel room. 

When we get there, all is normal, I’m still nervous someone will recognize me from the pictures on twitter and start a riot. 

“Hey! There’s like a talent show going on tomorrow! I think we should sign up!” Cory yells to us excitedly. We look at the table and walk up to it. We see a few people there, one girl looking at me suspiciously. Joe looks at me, I look back, roll my eyes and nod letting him know I’ll be fine.

“So, how many acts can we do? Not to steal the spotlight or anything, I just want to center my energy on however many songs I can.” The girl looking at me earlier scoffs.

“With a voice like yours, none.” I shoot a look at her.

“Excuse me?” I respond sharply.

“Listen okay. I know what’s up with you. I saw the pictures, I’m not stupid. I’m the only one with the guts to say it to your face though, so here I go. You’re a charity case, alright? He just felt sorry for you. Sebastian would never go for someone like you in a million years. He goes for tall beautiful blondes like me. Not a short chubby goth whore like you. So, get a reality check and some voice lessons, then come back to me about entering.” She says it loud enough for people across the way to hear. I put my hand on my hip and just glare at her. Cory was about to say something when I hear Seb behind me and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Oh yeah? I don’t go for girls like her? Alright, well answer me this question, between you and Molls here, which one did I go on a date with? Which one did I kiss last night?” Her jaw drops as I give her a great big smile. “Exactly.”

“Yeah you don’t have a whole lot to say now, do you?” I say. “So can you answer my original question for me please?” A short redheaded girl chimes in. 

“I can, since Stephanie here is not going to be working here and can find another place to fuck off.” She darts her eyes in her direction. “You can go now.” She says giving Stephanie the stink eye as she leaves.

“Fuck off, you’re still a fat cow like you were in high school.” She smiles back at her.

“And you’re still a cunt. Go on now! No one gives a fuck!” Stephanie leaves and I chuckle at the exchange.

“I’m so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of her fuckery. She bullied me all throughout high school, so telling her to fuck off and calling her a cunt any chance I get is pretty great.” I smile weakly.

“It’s alright, I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of that today so far. And I’m not surprised she was a mean girl in high school.” Seb squeezes my shoulder.

“Hey, I’ve gotta go, but I will text you later, alright?” He says to me and kisses my cheek. “Also, I’d pick a song reaming those Twitter people a new asshole, but that’s just me.” He whispers in my ear.

“I have songs lined up for that already.” He smirks and looks at me.

“It’s nice to see those brown eyes light up again. I’ll see you later.” He says and walks away. I gaze at him and smile, he looks back, smiles and accidentally runs into someone and I snort. 

“Goddammit, Seb.” I laugh under my breath. I look back at the nice redhead who tells me I can sign up for two acts max.

“Also, I just want to say that I support you, and you don’t deserve the shit that’s being flung yours or Seb’s ways. You guys should just be happy without anyone harassing the hell out of you.” I start tearing up. I quickly wipe them away.

“Sorry, just. Seeing all the bullshit online, it’s just a lot. Thank you though, you don’t know how much that means to me.” 

“No problem. Alona.” She reaches her hand out. I shake it and thank her again for being so awesome and supportive. I sit down somewhere to fill out the form for the act, but Cory, Joe and I can't figure out what song to do.

“What about Red Hot Chili Peppers?” Joe suggests.

“Ah god, I’m rusty with them on the drums, Joe you know this!” Cory says.

“Billie Eillish?” I propose. They both shake their heads.

“Not feeling her lately to be honest.” Joe says. 

“Don’t get me wrong I love her, but same here.” Cory explains. Then it hits me.

“What about ‘Whore’ by In This Moment?” Cory’s face lights up at the suggestion. 

“FUCK YA! Tell those assholes on Twitter and Instagram to fuck off!” Cory yells.

“Yeah let’s do it! We can probably get another person to join in on instrumentals!” Joe exclaims. “Maybe Alona plays bass?” He asks.

“Heck yeah, we can find out!” Cory says. I laugh and write it down. Suddenly I notice my phone vibrating like crazy.

“What the fuck is going on…” I check my phone and see people have found my twitter. They’re tweeting at me and telling me nasty things, but I remove the app from my phone and put it back in my hoodie pocket, trying very hard not to worry about it. Cory looks at her phone and she looks back up at me.

“Um. Molly? You might want to see this…” She passes her phone to me that shows a link and I click on it.

“WHAT. N-no….Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!” They found my Fetlife. They are taking screenshots of my photos on my profile and tweeting them out, saying every vile thing you can imagine. I find myself not being able to breathe.

“What’s going on?” Joe wonders.

“They leaked her Fet on Twitter.” Cory states.

“H-how? How?! HOW?!” I keep asking. “I need...I can’t breathe right now. I’m freaking out. I have to go, I have to get out of here.”

“Okay, okay we can go outside.” Joe freaks out with me, which isn’t helping. We head out the door and I pace back and forth in a state of panic.

“Why the fuck is this happening to me? Do you know what this can do for me for future endeavors, like jobs, volunteer opportunities, etc.” I shudder at the thought.

“And they just started a ‘SebastianStanIsOverParty’ hashtag. And it’s trending. Not number one, but you know. Fuck people.” Cory says.

“I just ruined this man’s career over some coffee, a hand fetish and a kiss. And these fuckers ruined me by taking my nudes on Fet and posting them on Twitter! Great! They think I’m a slutty thirsty fangirl.”

“If I may make a joke though…” Cory interrupts. I look at her and sigh, feeling defeated.

“Go for it. Humor is probably the best thing right now.” I say.

“They think you’re a slutty thirsty fangirl with a great ass though. How did you get this angle? Good god!” I laugh through my panic and tears.

“I’m more flexible than even I thought.” Joe takes a peek.

“Those marks though, wow! You’ve got a pain threshold my dude.” Joe grins. “Very impressive, as always.” He high-fives me.

“Thanks! I try to get it up there whenever I can!” I laugh, but my smile goes away the second I remind myself what is happening, and they take notice.

“Hey. This is gonna be okay, okay? You’ll make it through this.” Cory says. My phone buzzes. It’s Seb.

 _“I’m texting you to tell you I care about you and I give a shit, and I want you here with me so bad. I miss your face. I don’t want to give up on you, and fuck Twitter. Don’t listen to what any of those morons have to say. <3”_ I start crying when I finish reading.

“I don’t deserve him. He's too good for me. I don’t deserve a minute of his time. He’s too sweet. He’s too nice. I don’t. I don’t deserve it. That’s it. End of it. Done. I’m too slutty for him, too goth, too out of shape, I’m not good looking enough, I just...that’s it. I don’t deserve happiness, or to be treated like a halfway decent person. I deserve nothing good, and this is just mother nature reminding me of that.” Cory places her hand in mine.

“Molly, love. That is a pile of horse shit and I know you know that. You deserve all the happiness in the fucking world. You’ve been through hell and back. Your darkest period in your life, you got through that. It was difficult, it was a painstakingly long process, but you got through. This will be no different.”

“Also,” Joe adds, “you’re fucking gorgeous. You’re not out of shape. You’re fucking beautiful. All the ‘Stephanies’ of the world can fuck off with their shallowness and cattiness because they don’t know shit about you. You’re a tough, strong, resilient woman and anybody, ANYBODY would be lucky to be with you, our one and only cripplepunk, Molly.” Cory boops my nose. I look at both of them and shake my head laughing and smiling.

“You guys are fucking insane. Insanely supportive. Insanely amazing friends who never fucking cease to amaze me every damn day of my life. Thank you.” I respond. 

“Now...can we go back in and finish filling out the form for the talent show? And can I fix your makeup?” Cory suggests. I chuckle softly.

“Ha, sure. I have another song in mind anyway. What do you guys think of ‘Kiss’ by Pale Waves?”

“Ooo I wonder why you want to sing _that_ one now!” Joe teases.

“Oh hush up now!”

“Yeah Joe, Hush up, she can’t help that she’s head over heels.” I smack Cory on the arm.

“You hush up too!” I cackle. We head over to turn in our sheet. Alona's face lights up when she sees the song choices.

"OHHHHH I LOVE IN THIS MOMENT. Good song choice too, due to what you're going through too!" She says excitedly.

"Ironically enough," Cory says, "we're looking for a bassist, and we were wondering..."

"SAY NO MORE." She exclaims.

"Wait, you play bass? Don't be shitting us now." I say, chuckling.

"I do though, not shitting you in the least. I can learn this easily!" I look at Joe and smile.

"Well Joe, what do you think?"

"I think fuck yeah." Cory jumps from excitement. 

"LE'S DO THIIIIIS." She exclaims.


	3. In Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Molly is exposed in the most intimate of ways online, Sebastian has had enough and addresses it, which leads to Molly letting down her walls and being vulnerable with Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Some stuff to keep in mind for you folx! This entire fanfiction is heavily musically influenced, but this chapter in particular is VERY musically influenced. I listened to the songs here as I was writing this on repeat a trillion times and I find if you listen to the songs while reading, it may help you to set the mood a bit. Of course everyone has their own way of reading and processing so yeah! Just a suggestion! The songs are mentioned in the writing! <3
> 
> So the songs mentioned are: 
> 
> Danny Don't You Know - Ninja Sex Party  
> Africa - Cover version by Ninja Sex Party, Originally by Toto.  
> In Your Eyes - Cover version by Ninja Sex party, Originally by Peter Gabriel.  
> If We Were Gay - Ninja Sex Party. (just a smidge mentioned.)
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> -Miss_Masochist

After another round of meeting fans, I finally got a moment to myself this afternoon to go outside and take a breather. I text Molls and invite her to the panel coming up, but she doesn’t respond. I call, but she doesn't pick up either, which worries me. I go back inside to the elevator to head to the panel. When the doors open, I find Molly standing in the corner. 

“Hey you! That’s my spot in the elevator, how dare you take my spo….Molly?” She’s wiping tears away on her hoodie. “Molls what’s wrong?” I approach her and she looks up at me.

“Nothing, um. It’s okay, I’ll be okay, it isn’t a big deal or anything.” she says while starting to cry again. “You can just go to your panel and you don't have to see me ever again, I doubt you would anyway.”

“Wait wha...what the fuck? What makes you say I don’t want to see you anymore? And where are Cory and Joe?”

“I kind of ran off so I could have some time to myself and breathe. What floor is the panel on?” She asks as she plays with her hoodie zipper nervously.

“That isn’t important right now. Molls what’s happening? Please talk to me.” She takes a deep shaky breath and breathes out slowly.

“It’s just everything and how it’s all evolving throughout the day and it’s only getting worse, and I feel like I can’t fucking breathe in here. The elevator was not a good idea, but I didn’t know where else to go to get a moment of peace, I felt suffocated by people.” I try to wipe her tears with my jean jacket but she just turns her head away from me.

“Babe please tell me what’s wrong.” She kneels on the floor and starts wailing. I kneel in front of her and wrap my arms around her. “Let’s get out of here so we can talk, alright?”

“But what about your panel? Isn’t it in 10 minutes?”

“That’s not important right now. Let’s get out of here and go outside so we can talk.” I grab her hand and pull her up off the floor and we get out of the elevator and go outside. “Who is saying what and whose ass do I need to kick?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“Um. My Fetlife got leaked, and now my nudes are everywhere on Twitter.” My jaw drops.

“Molls…” I say sympathetically under my breath. Her lower lip is quivering, tears profusely running down her face.

“But um...that was just the tip of the iceberg. People were obviously body shaming me, calling me fat, gross, a whore, slut, what have you, but people...people made their own Fetlife just to go on my profile and bash me, and to say the ugliest things on my wall, on my photos, send me the cruelest messages. I’m talking death threats...I mean I guess I should be thankful not anything more personal was leaked like my phone number or anything. My Fetlife being out there for the rest of the world to see really does ruin most potential employment for me. Employers and the law are not very kind when it comes to kinky people. You can lose your job. You can lose your kids if you have any. You can lose a lot if information about your kinky hobbies goes into the wrong hands, and these people who decided to leak and spread this really fucked me over. It’s just a combination of all of this shit happening today and I’m about to fucking lose it.” I reach over and grab her hand tightly. I shake my head, feeling infuriated.

“That’s it.” I say angrily. “I’m done with this bullshit. This has gone way too far, and I have to address and stop this. This is your livelihood at risk, your mental health is taking a toll and I won’t have any of it.” I stand up and walk inside with her, holding her hand, heading toward the elevator.

“What are you going to do, Seb?” She asks panic-stricken as she struggles to keep up with me.

“I’m going to address it at the panel. I don’t know what I’m going to say, but I can guarantee it won’t be sunshine and fuckin’ daisies. No one will hurt those I care about.” We get in the elevator and she hugs me.

“Thank you, Seb.” She says tiredly and quietly. I place the crook of my finger under her chin and tilt her face up toward me and I kiss her softly.

“No one is going to fuck with you while I’m around...well...maybe me but only if you’re willing.” She looks at me and smiles.

“You’re a fucking wiseass, you know that?” I pull her close to me, feeling her heat as she presses her body against mine.

“Wisest of all the asses.” I run my hand down her back and grab hers firmly.

“And how did I know your hand would end up there, huh?” she says smiling.

“No idea.” I stick my tongue out. “These leggings feel really soft though.” 

“Yeah? You should feel the inside, they’re thermal and fuzzy.” I squint at her dubiously. 

“Is that an invitation?” She bites her lip.

“It’s whatever you want it to be.” I slip my fingers inside her leggings, feeling the material inside them.

“Holy crap that is soft. Wait though I wanna feel something else.” She gives me a look while I quickly grab her butt and pull my hand out.

“You know I'm the perfect height to just bite your nipple off, right you smartass?” 

“Please don’t! Wait, am I a smartass or a wiseass? You have to make up your mind here.” She walks over to the elevator panel.

“Well, you’ll be a dumbass soon if you don’t make your panel. What floor?” I chuckle softly.

“Third.” She presses it, and the second her finger leaves the button I approach her, pick her up, wrap her legs around me and kiss her deeply, trailing my mouth down her neck and nipping at it, causing a hitch in her breath. The elevator beeps and stops at my floor. I gaze at her for a few seconds before setting her down. “You going to come with me?” I reach my hand out. She hesitates.

“You sure that’s a good idea? People don’t like me Seb.”

“I like you.” I say reassuringly. She smiles and takes my hand and we head to the panel room. When we get there, we go our separate ways and she finds Joe and Cory and sits with them up front while I get on stage. People are screaming and yowling, and I’m sure they’re not expecting me to be pissed off, but I hope I can keep my composure and hope it comes out in a calm and collected yet firm manner. I sit down and take the mic.

“Hello! Hi everyone! Um, so before we get started I have some stuff to address here. I don’t talk about my private life barely ever, because of things like this happening and potentially blowing up in my and another person’s face. I don’t want to put my loved ones in the spotlight for any reason. My private life is MY private life, and I hope you all would respect that. But it has come to my attention that some things surfaced. Mainly about the woman I went to go have coffee with last night.” I get up and pace a little bit to calm my nerves. “And I have to say, and I don’t ever want to come off as an asshole here, but I’m pretty...pretty pissed off about the things being said about her. Social media is scary. It scares me even. Which is why all I have is an instagram, all the more reason I do not have Twitter is today’s events...but even Instagram is frightening at times.” I look at Molly twiddling her thumbs anxiously. “I think one thing people forget when it comes to online bullying and harassment is there are people behind those words being typed, and they are real life people you are talking about behind the screen. There are real people with real emotions and livelihoods that could be put at risk if the wrong bit of information goes into the wrong hands and could potentially ruin those livelihoods.” I take a deep breath. “I care a lot about this person. I want the best for her, and right now my fans are not showing their best selves, and I’m pretty disappointed in them.” I look at Molly again and she’s holding Cory and Joe’s hands, her eyes filling with tears. I take the mic away from my mouth. “You okay?” I mouth to her. She looks at me and nods. I put the mic near my mouth again. “I just think we could learn a lesson from all of this, and be a little kinder to everyone, especially to those we don’t know, because we don’t know their story, we don’t know what they’ve been through, and we don’t know how they got to where they are now. But maybe if we talked with less shit in our mouths, and listened with more empathy and sympathy,” I say, “maybe we wouldn’t be so quick to judge, and quite frankly anyone who calls the people I care about ‘ugly’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, what have you, is no fan of mine.” The room is pretty quiet. I see faces out there that look...well for lack of a better word, guilty. “I really fucking appreciate those who had positive things to say or who decided to not say anything you know? Your devotion is incredible, and I just wanted to get that out of the way so that we can have fun at this panel. But I needed to address it because it’s really...it’s really taking a toll on her.” I pause to look around, get a feel for the room. “But uh. Can...can we have fun now here?” I chuckle and the crowd yells excitedly. 

When the panel ends, I race over to Molls.

“How did I do?” She has a quirky grin when I ask. She grabs my face and squeezes it.

“Perfect.” She laughs softly and I grin at her.

“So I was thinking…" I begin.

“Uh huh?”

“I want to spend more time with you tonight, and I just want to make sure you’re going to be alright, and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask this but maybe I could like…” I hesitate to say the next part.

“Seb?”

“Yes?” I ask with a grin, as I think she’s catching on. 

“Are you asking to spend the night?” 

“I mean yes, but it isn’t like that, I just want to spend some time with you, that’s all.” She shakes her head, chuckling.

“Sebastian you don’t need to explain yourself, it's fine. Yes please come over tonight, I would love your company.” I smile and kiss her softly on the cheek. 

“Alright I’ll see you tonight.” I kiss her lips and walk off to race back to my hotel to pack a few things.

********************************************************************************

I sit in my hotel room, waiting for Seb to arrive. I left the con right after the panel because I was mentally and physically exhausted from the day, so when I got back to the hotel I had taken a shower and a nap. I sit on my bed thinking about how crazy today was as Joe and Cory keep me company for the time being.

“You still doing okay, Molls?” Cory asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just mentally exhausted and thinking about today is all.” 

“Yeah, today was insane for you.” Joe says.

“Right? It was fucking intense. All the fucking panic attacks...Jesus.” I respond.

“How did people on instagram and such respond to Seb’s thing at the beginning of the panel?” Cory wonders.

“Um. Pretty well I guess! I haven’t seen too many negative responses actually. People were really put in their place.” I say.

“As they fucking should be.” Joe says sharply. I get a text from Seb saying he’s here and will be up shortly.

“We should leave and let you two have some time alone. I kind of want to chill out in my hotel room for a bit before going to sleep. The introvert in me is really eating at me.” Cory says as she and Joe hop off my bed.

“Well alright, I will see you guys tomorrow. Thank you for being amazing like always. I know I’m not the easiest to be around during a time of crisis.” I say.

“Hey. We fucking love you and we’re sticking around whether you like it or not, fucker.” I hug Cory and Joe and wish them a good night. Just as they opened the door, Seb is right there with an overnight bag, what I assume is coffee and...a flower? Why a flower? 

“Oh hey Seb! Have a good night, Molly.” Cory says. She looks at Seb. “Take care of her please, she’s been through hell today.” He smiles at her.

“No problem, I definitely will.” He closes the door behind them, puts down his stuff, takes his jacket off and tackles me onto the bed, kissing all over my face. I giggle and squirm under him. 

“Ahhh Seb!!!” I shriek loudly.

“Hey you! I missed your face! Also I may have brought you a hot chocolate and a purple rose, because I know purple is your favorite color.” He gets off the bed and hands me both.

“Seb, you didn’t have to.” he rubs his nose against mine.

“Yeah, well I wanted to.” He kisses me and I take a sip of the hot chocolate.

“Oh my god this is so fucking good.” I look at the rose. “Seb, you really didn't have to though.” 

“And once again I’m saying I wanted to.” I sigh and look at him.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.” I say. He lies down on my bed. 

“Just like you.” I put my hot chocolate on the side table and lie down next to him. He wraps his arm around my middle.

“You sir, are a walking cliche right now, and I will have none of that.” I boop his nose and kiss him.

“Too bad, this is me, take it or leave it. Oh, also the beard is leaving tonight.” I pout and sigh.

“Nuuuu.” I say as I stroke it gently.

“Yeeeesssss.” he retorts.

“Okay, fine buuuut. Let me do it.” I suggest.

“Shave my beard? You, who just said five seconds ago that you didn’t want it to be shaven, want to shave it?” I shrug.

“Listen, one way I cope when I’m under stress and anxiety is I take care of other people, and I want to do this.” He kisses my lips softly. 

“Tonight I will take care of you though. You don’t need to do anything.”

“You will be taking care of me by letting me take care of you. Let me do it. Please? It will get my mind off of things. Like my nudes posted on Twitter.” He smooches my cheek.

“Alright, alright. I have a straight razor though, you think you can handle that without getting me in the jugular?” I cackle loudly.

“Yes, Sebastian I can handle it, don’t worry. No Sweeney Todd action here tonight.” He laughs softly. “But you will have to deal with my music as I do it.” He thinks for a minute.

“What music are we talking about here? What bands?” 

“Well, when I’ve had anxiety, I resort to Ninja Sex Party.” The confusion on his face makes me snort.

“Ninja what?” 

“I’ll tell you about them, let’s get into the bathroom, shall we?” We head to the bathroom and I sit on the counter with Seb standing between my knees. I get my laptop set up to turn on NSP. Just as I’m about to get the shaving cream in my hand, he stops me.

“Wait, don’t you want a few more kisses before it goes away?” I smirk at his request and waste no time. I grab the collar of his shirt pulling him toward me and I press my lips against his, cupping his face in my hands, running them up the back of his neck through his hair, tugging on it gently. His lips trail down my jawline and my neck, making me moan and hook my fingers to the belt loops on his jeans to press him closer against me. He looks at me and runs his thumb across my mouth, making me have to stifle my noises, and he can tell. “Lord, I love that all I have to do to reduce you to a puddle is simply touch your pretty little mouth with my thumb...heh.”

“And if you don’t stop I will not be able to focus on what I need to do here.” He smiles and kisses me one last time.

“Alright. Do your thing.” I start playing “Danny Don’t You Know” and apply the shaving cream. “So tell me about this band, Ninja Sex Party, right?” He asks. I smile as I turn his head to start on his right side. He eyes the blade hesitantly as it gets closer. I take the blade away and turn his face back to me.

“Seb.” I look deeply into his eyes. “Trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing.” He breathes in and out.

“Okay. I trust you.” 

“Thank you.” I turn his head again and run the blade across his skin carefully. “So, Ninja Sex Party, where do I start? So they’re a comedy musical duo, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian.” I wipe off the blade. “I love them with all my soul. They saved my life practically. This song we’re listening to right now, ‘Danny Don’t You Know’, came out at just the right time for me. You remember that abusive poly dynamic I briefly mentioned last night?”

“That I do.” 

“It’s gonna get deep and personal so are you okay with that?” I ask and he nods.

“I’m okay with that, yeah.”

“Well, I was in that relationship when this song came out. I was at a very low low. Things were not going my way in any way. My partner nor his wife put my feelings into consideration at all.” I laugh softly. “His wife had more control over our relationship than either of us did, and he complied with everything she said, did, suggested, what have you. This song came out, and it really helped me.”

“Is that when you first heard them?” He inquires.

“Nah, I had been listening to them for about two years at that point.” I tap his chin with my finger. “Up.” He raises his chin as I get his neck. “Yeah. That relationship was...fucked up for so many reasons. There wasn’t a twenty four hour period where I wasn’t crying. I was stressed all the time. Anxiety through the fucking roof. I um…” I stop, wipe the blade again and take a moment to breathe. He lowers his face and touches my arm.

“You okay sweets?” I pick up the blade again and continue. 

“Yeah, I just had to take a moment before I said what I was going to say. But, yeah anxiety through the fucking roof. Depression was at an all time low. I uh. I didn’t want to exist. I didn’t want to be alive some days. They broke me down to the point where I couldn’t find anything good to say or feel about myself. There was a period of time where I actually stopped shaving altogether, ironically enough, because I was afraid I was going to harm myself. So I’d get in the shower, wash off then get out. His wife was an outright cunt, doing anything within her power to use her superiority to get what she wanted, since she was his wife and I was ‘just’ the girlfriend.” I shake my head in frustration. “You know I didn’t...I didn’t even feel like his girlfriend. I felt like the mistress, even though she knew about and was okay with me. Er. Tolerated me I guess is more accurate. I just felt like the side hoe.” I put the blade down and feel the smooth part of his face. “Ooo. I think I’m gonna love this.” He grabs my hand and looks at me with a serious look on his face. “What is it Seb?”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. They both sound like assholes who only care about themselves, and you deserve only the best. No one, especially you, deserves to be treated like you are lesser.” I look back at him and smile warmly. 

“Thank you Seb.” The song ends and their cover of “Africa” plays next.

“WAIT. You didn’t tell me they did covers!” He says excitedly.

“YES. They have three cover albums and they are all amazing!!” I say.

“You HAVE to let me have the high part during the chorus, and you can’t make fun of me!” he demands. I snicker quietly.

“Deal!” I start singing the first verse under my breath and he picks up on the backup vocals, harmony and all, which catches me off guard.

“Seb, I think you need to give yourself more credit with your singing. I think you fake being bad, mister.” At that point the chorus kicks in and I put the blade down and he moves away from me and we both belt it out in perfect harmony and rock out.

“IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAAAAAY FROM YOOOOOU!  
THERE’S NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE COULD EVER DOOOO.  
I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AAAFRICAAAA.  
GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO DO THE THINGS WE NEVER HAAAAAD! OOO OOO!” I snort in laughter.

“Come back here you fool!” He laughs and I pick the razor back up and continue on his upper lip. I sing the second verse and he, again with the backups and harmonies. A few seconds before the chorus comes I put the blade down to prevent nicking him as we belt and rock out again.

“I fucking love this song, can you tell?” I laugh hysterically.

“I fucking love this song too, so you are not alone on that. Now come back here, I'm only half done, dumbass.”

“The whole rest of the song is the chorus, so you’re going to have to wait.” I sigh and agree.

“Right, right. Okay but after this song, you get back here!” I chuckle. I join in on singing the rest and when the song is over I turn his head to start on the left side. I relax and smile when I recognize the next NSP cover.

“‘In Your Eyes’ By Peter Gabriel.” he says. I look at him and smile.

“Yeah. Covered by NSP of course.” I say.

“Yes, can’t forget that detail.” He smiles. The room grows silent as we listen to Danny’s entrancing, cosmic voice fill the emptiness. You know it’s funny how music can change the mood instantaneously. One second we’re rocking out to “Africa”, and the next we’re silently listening to “In Your Eyes” and I’m stealing glimpses and smiling at him when I’m not focusing on shaving his face. He keeps his eyes locked on mine the entire time though. I carefully work the blade over the curvatures of his cheekbone and his jawline. The more he looks at me as the song plays, the more flushed I become. The second verse comes in, and the mood shifts a little. It seems to hit us both the same.

_“Love, I don't like to see so much pain.  
So much wasted, and this moment keeps slipping away.  
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival.  
I look to my time with you to keep me awake and alive.”_

I finish and clean his face with a soft warm towel, and carefully apply some aftershave.

“Does it look okay?” I ask. He cradles my face in my hands and gazes longingly into my eyes.

“I think it looks perfect.” we grin and he lifts my face and kisses me delicately. He pulls away slightly to look at me again. We close our eyes and our noses barely touch. We open our eyes again, and just look at each other for a couple seconds, close our eyes and our lips meet again. I cradle his face gently, then grasp his sides, pulling him closer. I open my mouth, inviting his tongue in as he grabs my hips. I wrap my arms around his neck and he picks me up and walks us to my bed. He lays me on it and he crawls on top of me, kissing me again, trailing his lips down my neck and biting down hard, making me shriek.

“Ah! Fuck…”

“You okay?” He cradles my face gently.

“Always with you.” Seb smiles and presses his lips against mine fervently. I sneak my hands under his shirt, feeling his every curve. He pulls his shirt off, followed by mine. He kisses my chest, down my stomach, touching every inch, appreciating every millimeter of me. He tugs at my leggings.

“Is it okay to remove these?” He asks. I smile and nod. He pulls them off slowly. As I lay there in nothing but my bra and thong, feeling vulnerable, he just stares with wonderment. A smile slowly forms on his face. 

“What is it?” I ask with a hint of confusion. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing. You’re just so beautiful.” My entire body gets hot and my cheeks turn red. “...so stunning.” He says under his breath. He leans down to kiss me again and I let my hands explore his body. I scratch my nails down his beautifully sculpted back. Every arc and contour I trace my fingers over, relishing every second, making my body hotter and long for him. My hands make their way to the front and I fumble with the button and zipper of his jeans several times, as my mind is racing a mile a minute, so he helps out. He starts to pull them off but I pull to keep them on.

“Wait.” I say, and his attention shifts.

“What is it babe?” I hold his face in my hands.

“I...I’m not sure how far I want to go tonight. This might just be it. It might not be. I don’t know, and I don’t want to make you feel bad or like I don’t want to, because I do, I just…” He notices I’m getting flustered and he puts his finger to my lips.

“It’s okay. We go as far as you want to go. If this is it, this is it. If you want to go further, we can go further. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. We move at your speed. Okay?” Tears start to run down my face.

“I’m sorry…” 

“No. You’re not, and you shouldn’t be.” He kisses me softly and wipes away my tears. “You’re fine. I don’t care about you any less because you don’t want to have sex. I don’t work that way.” He kisses my cheek tenderly. “Are you okay?” I sniff and nod my head.

“Yeah I am.” I smile. He kisses me again and zips up his jeans.

“I will change into sweats, okay?” I grin.

“Okay, I’ll change into pajamas then.” We hear the music still playing in the bathroom.

_“Here's a list of things that Brian likes to suck; Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick balls.”_

“What...the...fuck are we listening to right now?” Seb says as we laugh hysterically.

“Oh my fucking god, that could NOT be more perfect timing!” I howl. We change into pajamas and get in bed and cuddle closely. He kisses my forehead.

“I feel like it’s been more than a day ago we met. You sure we didn’t know each other in another life or something?” I smile at the thought.

“I’m pretty sure, yeah.” Silence grows and we just stare at each other. “Seb.”

“Yes, cutie.”

“On a scale from 1 to 10, how smitten are you?”

“A trillion.” He says. I scoot a little closer and hold him tightly.

“Good, because I’m at a trillion too.” I bury my face in the crook of his neck and he kisses the top of my head.

“I’m starving right now. Are you?” He asks.

“That I am. I also have to reheat my hot chocolate.”

“I can do that for you.” He takes my cup and sticks it in the mic to heat it up. “Pizza?” He asks.

“Pizza!” I respond joyfully

********************************************************************************

“So, I’ve been wondering...” I ask Molls as I take another bite of pizza. We’re both sitting on her bed with the massive pizza box between us.

“Yes is my answer.” She smiles and I shake my head. 

“Smartass. I’ve wondered, since you’re into kink, what characters I’ve played come off as Dom or sub to you? If you’ve ever thought about it?”

“Oh! This should be fun! Lay it on me!”

“Alright, Carter Baizen.”

“Never watched Gossip Girl.” I gasp.

“How. Dare you.” I respond sarcastically. She puts her hands in the air shrugging.

“Listen, okay, I don’t have time to watch a show about rich kid problems, so sue me!” I laugh out loud.

“Alright, alright, fiiine. Um. Chris Beck.”

“Switch.” she says. I smirk.

“Okay, um...Jefferson from Once Upon a Time?” She shakes her head.

“I’ve never seen Once Upon a Time either, but from what I’ve seen from clips, switch who is more Dom/Top.” I think for a minute.

“Hmmm….TJ Hammond.”

“Okay so, everyone I know says sub/bottom, buuuut I think he’s a switch. I think there’s a little bit of Dom/Top in him for sure.”

“Everyone is a switch so far. Huh.” I chuckle.

“Keep going, you’ll find not all of them are.” She grins.

“Alright...Dayton White.” Her face changes and I laugh.

“You think I’m supposed to determine that with the three minutes of airtime he gets?” 

“You never saw Once Upon a Time, yet here you are saying Jefferson is a switch, so yes! Haha!” She throws her pizza crust at me. “Hey, don't throw your food, and eat your crust you brat!” She rolls her eyes.

“Whatever." She says and laughs. "Dayton White is Dom/Top energy to me. Don’t ask me why, I just think he is.”

“See, I knew you had an answer for that one. Jack Benjamin.” She ponders that one for a hot second.

“Tries really hard to come off Dom/Top, but he is truly a submissive/bottom.” I look at her with curiosity. “What?” She asks with a giggle.

“I just wonder how you come to these conclusions is all.” She shrugs nonchalantly.

“I’m not sure, it’s just a vibe I get honestly. I could be and have been very wrong before.”

“Chris from Destroyer.” I narrow my eyes.

“Oh. Dom/Top energy to the Nth degree, no fucking doubt. He is...unf.” I smile and lay my head on the pillow.

“Alright, this one you may not know, seeing as it’s a little known film, buuuut Simon.” She grins.

“Ahhhh!!! Simon from Red Doors?!”

“Oh shit you know?” She chuckles.

“Yeah I do! I love Simon! Simon is obviously a prankster, playful, childish...I know his character is underage, so when it comes to determining whether he’s a Dom, sub or switch it is a bit inappropriate, Buuuuut I’ll make an exception since you asked and he is a fictional character and I’ll say Dom/Top, a very bratty one at that.”

“Alright, another one I have a strong feeling you won’t know. Kent.”

“HA. I have a weakness for punk boys. Kent from Talk Radio...I don’t know. He’s tricky. But I’m going to go by my wishful thinking here and say Dom/Top. I also just can’t resist a punk rock boy.” She giggles.

“I’m surprised you are aware of Kent.” I say.

“Oh I know. I’m aware.” she smirks.

“Alright...the god of gymnastics…” I say.

“Lance ‘the fucker’ Tucker? Huh...well he’s a bitch, let’s start off with that.” 

“I mean, true.” I say with a cackle.

“He is someone I would choke out for funsies. He is a sub/bottom. FOR SURE.”

“HA. I can see that! Um. Charles Blackwood.”

“Oh my god, so first of all, I love that movie. Second of all, the hand porn? UUUUUGH. Oh my GOD, I can NOT with the hand porn, just...okay I have to contain myself here…” I cover my mouth trying not to laugh at her being so flustered. “Charles though, is a bratty whiny little boy. Sub/bottom.” I laugh and shrug.

“You gotta use two fingers.” I say as she bites her lip and glances at my hand.

“Asshole.” She says under her breath. I smirk and cock my eyebrow. 

“Three more. Jeff Gillooly.” She narrows her eyes at me.

“Jeff is an abusive bastard who should never come anywhere near the kink community for any reason at any time EEEEEVER.” 

“Good answer. uhhh….Chase Collins.” A grin creeps across her face.

“I was waiting for this one. Switch, but leans heavily toward Dom/Top.”

“Alright, saving the best for last...Bucky.” She rubs her hands together.

“Alright, I’ve put a lot of thought into this, more so than your other characters. So Bucky? Dom/Top. 100%. He’s been told what to do, brainwashed, abused, tortured for 70 years, right? So when it comes to the bedroom, he takes over. He is Dom, what he says goes, but it is in such a way that it’s healthy and it’s in a safe and consensual environment, so it’s therapeutic for him. Also, he loves degrading his partners. And choking. Those are two big ones. At least that’s my headcanon.” I bite my lip. I’m not sure why, but the thought of degrading Molls is just so fucking hot to me, and grabbing her neck this morning was even a shock to me. She’s really showing there’s a side to me that even I didn’t know about. “What are you thinking about now, huh?” She asks as I stand up to put the pizza in the fridge and lie down under the covers. She follows suit.

“Just thinking about how you’ve made me start discovering a side to me I didn’t even know was there, I guess. What about me?” She runs her fingers through my hair, rubbing my scalp, to which I close my eyes groaning and she smirks.

“What about you?” She asks, her voice so soft and delicate. 

“I was going to ask what you thought about me with the whole Dom/sub/switch thing.” 

“Well, let me answer that after I go brush my teeth.” She kisses my forehead and gets out of bed to do that, and I decide I should do so as well. When we get back into bed I wrap my arms around her tightly.

“So…?” I say.

“Ah yes. So, you my dear,” she kisses me softly, “Have Dom/Top energy to me, but those are just the vibes you give off to me.” I nod my head in agreement.

“I tend to lean toward Dom in the bedroom, yeah.” She smiles and kisses me again.

“I did a good job on your face, I do have to say.” She strokes my face gently and stares into my eyes. “God your eyes are gorgeous.” 

“Ditto.” I say. “Hey.”

“What?”

“So, I only know a few kinks and fetishes of yours and I want to know more.” She purses her lips and her eyes narrow.

“Oh really? Well, let’s make this fair okay? I’ll tell you one of mine and you tell me one of yours, because I don’t really know any of yours.”

“Deal. You start.” I demand.

“Alright. Knife play. The feel of a blade running across my skin gives me goosebumps. Your turn.” 

“Sadomasochism. No pain, no gain.” She chuckles in response.

“Temperature play. I prefer cold though. Partly why I enjoy glass dildos.” She says.

“I have quite an oral fixation, if that counts.” She raises her eyebrows and smirks.

“Really? I couldn’t tell, with how often you lick and bite your lips and kiss me.” 

“Oh shush you.” I say and kiss her. “Your turn now.”

“Hmmm...I love being restrained. Tied down.” 

“What a coincidence, I like to restrain people.” She bites her lip.

“Oh. Well then.” She clears her throat. “I like the sounds Bucky’s metal arm makes, not gonna lie. Turns me on.”

“Must be fun watching you watch ‘Winter Soldier’ and ‘Civil War’ then. Exhibitionism and voyeurism are two of mine. I like...this is gonna sound weird…” She smiles.

“Try me, I’ve heard quite a lot.” 

“Well,” I say hesitantly, “I like watching my partners get themselves off, because no one knows how to pleasure you like you do, you know? It’s just so fucking hot to me.” I feel my core heat up as the conversation goes on, but I keep myself under control, as she is in control of how far we go tonight, if at all. But I can see she’s also getting a little worked up, which is only in turn getting me more flustered.

“Mmm. Well, I do love an audience…” God fucking dammit, Molls, I swear. “I love edging. More being edged.” She says.

“I have this whole thing for...there’s just something about being called Sir...I don’t...I don’t know why, I just really love it…” 

“You know what I love?” Her eyes are glazed over with lust, her lips just half an inch away from mine, teasing me.

“W-what’s that?” She lifts my shirt a little bit. She whispers against my lips, making me tremble.

“I really, really fucking love that V cut on a man’s hips. You know what I’m talking about?” 

“Not really.” I say jokingly. “How about you show me where.” She traces her fingers along my V line on my right side slowly, making me breathe harder than before.

“Right there, and,” She drags her fingers along the other side. “Right there…” I close my eyes.

“Mmmmhhh…” I mutter and lick my lips.

“You seem a little flustered, you okay?” I open my eyes and look at her. “Oh. One more thing I love…” I glare at her.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“You know I...I really, really love it when Sir fills me…” My eyes get wide and I bite my lip. “There’s nothing like the feeling of him filling me up,” she pauses to bite her lip, “and having it run down my thighs soon after. Except when it comes to me, my pussy is so tight it manages to keep Sir’s cum in there for a while.” I whimper loudly.

“Holy fuck just shut up and kiss me already.” I say without thinking and she kisses me roughly, forcing her tongue in my mouth as we both moan loudly. I press my body tightly against hers, letting her feel my evident arousal.

“Wait…” I stop immediately.

“What is it, sweets?” She turns away from me, searching for something. She turns back around with a pink glass dildo.

“It’s new, it came in the mail before I left for the con. Never got a chance to use it.”

“You want me to fuck you with it?” 

“Mmmmffff yes, please.” I snarl and kiss along her jaw and down her neck, biting down hard, making her shriek with delight. She feels up my shirt, tracing her fingers across my abs. I take my shirt off and she creeps her hand on my erection over my sweatpants, running her hand up and down my entire length, making me moan.

“You know I couldn’t bear to edge you, right? I would just want you to cum as many times as you could handle it.” I pull her leg up around my hip and sneak my hand up her soft black nightie between her legs and lightly graze my fingers against her soft lips, teasing around her clit.

“Fuck…” She whispers.

“God, you’re so fucking wet...” I say with hunger and lust behind my words.

“Mmmmm can you blame me? I’ve been like this to some degree since our coffee date last night.” I bite my lip and kiss her, rolling over on top of her, pecking her neck softly as she whines. 

“Baby?” I whisper.

“Mmmmmhhh...yes babe?” she goans out under her breath.

“I wanna watch you get yourself off with your toy. I want to see what you did to yourself this morning.” She smiles slyly.

“Oh, you want to watch right now?” She says with a mischievous undertone.

“I do. So fucking badly. I wanna know what makes that pussy purr.” Molly whimpers and bites my lower lip.

“Show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” She raises her eyebrow and grins. “I might need a towel if you want an exact reenactment though…”

“I do want as close to an exact reenactment as possible, But a towel is a must.” We both chuckle and I go to the bathroom to grab a towel. When I come back out, her back is up against the headboard, nude, legs apart and lightly running her fingers over her pussy. I drop the towel and gawk at her as her lust-filled eyes look at me.


	4. #Sebolly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fans start to turn around after Seb addressed his concern for them turning on Molls, so much even that they have a ship name for them.
> 
> Sebastian makes some realizations the more time he spends with Molls.

I look at him just standing there, his mouth slightly ajar. He drops the towel and continues to stare. 

“You okay there?” I ask with a conniving grin. He snaps out of it, picks up the towel and crawls on the bed toward me. He props himself on his knees between my legs and lays out the towel beneath me.

“Perfectly fine, yeah. I just wish you could have waited a little longer here.” I slip my finger into my folds, applying and keeping pressure on my clit. I whimper softly as he watches and palms his own arousal through his sweats, biting his lip. I look up at his face, the lust in his big blue eyes grows by the second.

“Well _I_ could,” I say softly, and looking down at my aching glistening core, “but _she_ couldn’t.” He leans toward me and delicately grabs me by the chin, lifting my face to look at him.

“Well you remember to tell that pretty little cunt of yours to wait for Sir next time, now will you?” He says softly, then pauses for a second. “That...that wasn’t going too far, was it?” 

“Mmm. Not at all. But I do think we should hold off on that ‘Sir’ thing for a little bit.” I kiss him aggressively, forcing my tongue in his mouth as I grab my toy. “Well?” I ask.

“Well what, pretty girl?” He smiles when he notices my cheeks turn pink. I smile coyly when he calls me that.

“Well, I showed you mine...will you…?” I look down at his throbbing cock through his grey sweats, a small wet spot starts to form on them as he rubs his cock achingly slowly. I rub my clit slowly as I look back into his eyes.

“Will I what babe?” He says under his breath. He raises his other hand to my face and traces my lips with his thumb. I circle my finger around my clit faster as moans escape my lips.

“F-fuck…” I grab my toy and am about to insert it when he stops me. 

“You want me to pull my cock out and start rubbing it right here, don’t you?” I nod as he pulls my other hand away from my clit and sticks his thumb in my mouth. I moan and swirl my tongue around it. “Well you didn’t wait for me to come back, now did you? You had to be greedy.” I mewl softly in response. He slowly thrusts his thumb in and out of my mouth as I continue circling my tongue around it. “So since you didn’t wait then, you have to wait now.” He takes his thumb out and kisses me firmly and he slides his right hand beneath the waistband of his sweatpants and starts stroking his cock. I take my toy and slowly slide it inside my tight core, pumping it in and out slowly. “Such a good girl, playing with herself for me.” Seb says, cradling my face. Still kneeling between my legs, he sits back and watches me, His hand vigorously at work on his member beneath the fabric, making me long even more to see it.

“Seb please can I see…” I say as I fuck myself a little faster. He looks down between my legs as I thrust the glass toy in and out quicker. He looks back up at me, his pupils slightly dilated, cheeks flushed, and breathing increasing.

“Not yet, my sweet girl.” I moan desperately.

“I promise I’ll be good…” I plead. I hear him mutter, “Fuck” under his breath after I say that.

“Yes you will...by waiting.” He bites his lip as he ogles me. “Spread her open for me. Flaunt her. Show me how badly she wants me.” I spread my pussy open as I penetrate myself deeper and harder. My breathing increases and I moan as I run my finger across my clit. 

“Ah fuck. Seb….” Every time he rubs down toward his tip I can just barely see the base of his cock.

“Such a pretty pussy. Looks so sensitive to the touch. Your poor clit looks so neglected baby…” I pump the toy in me faster, hitting my g-spot perfectly.

“Mmmmmffff! Fuck!” I reach and grab onto the waistband of his sweatpants and carefully inch them down while he’s distracted looking at my pussy, but he notices and grabs my wrist firmly.

“And what do you think you’re doing, huh?” He pulls his hand out of his sweatpants and pulls them up a little.

“N-nothing.” I squeak out.

“Nothing, huh? Seems like it was something. You want to be honest with me?” I raise my eyebrow and smirk.

“I am being honest though…” In one motion he grabs my other wrist and holds them up by my head, pinning them against the headboard.

“You know if you want to see it, you have to be good while you wait, right?” I tilt my head.

“I thought you said I would be good _by waiting_ though...also you never put a time limit as to how long.” Seb narrows his eyes at me and squeezes my wrists tighter.

“As long as I want to see you squirm, beg and plead for it. You know, your brattiness is going to get you in big, big trouble with me someday.”

“Oh really now? You really think so?” I sass at him.

“Oh I know so.” He grabs my neck, squeezing the sides gently. He looks at me, his bright eyes clouding over to a sinister steel blue, "As you said at the coffee shop last night about not knowing what you're capable of, well you, missy, have no idea what I'm capable of either." He tightens his grip slightly, just enough to make me just barely lightheaded. "And quite frankly I don't know if you want to test that theory quite yet." He bites his lip smirking as he keeps staring into my eyes. I reach down and begin penetrating myself again with the toy. 

“Fuck…” I mutter with as much breath as I have as he keeps his grip on my neck.

“Is that toy hitting you in all the right spots, baby girl?” All we can hear is a barely coherent “yes”, moaning and grunting from the both of us, and me penetrating myself faster with each thrust.

“Fuck, Seb…”

“Mmmm...bet you wish it was me getting all the right spots huh?” Seb lets go of my neck. “I suppose you have learned your lesson for now though…” He pushes his sweatpants down, showing his thick cock, and pulls them completely off. I pull the glass dildo out and rub the tip against my clit gently, releasing some tension.

“I do wish it was you, so fucking badly.” He leans into me and kisses me, pushing his tongue into my mouth hungrily as he moans and strokes his length vigorously. He leans back and spits in his hand and watches me pleasure myself as he strokes himself.

“I do too, baby girl. Looks so fucking tight.” I look at him, his muscles glistening with a thin layer of sweat, his body tensing, breathing increasing. I slip the toy back into my pussy, hitting my g spot again.

“Ah, fuck...Seb, Mmmhhh~!” I cry out. He pumps his cock faster and he starts moaning. 

“Nnnnhhh, baby girl, fuuuuck~!” He growls. I look down at his leaking member and moan as I fuck myself more.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes Molly?” I bite and lick my lips.

“I want you so, so badly, and I love watching you get off...I want you buried so deep inside me.” I look at him, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back as whimpers and cries of pleasure tears from his mouth. He looks at me, breathing heavily as he speaks.

“I wanna know how you taste, my sweet girl.” He gently cups my chin with his left hand. “I wanna kiss and nibble down your beautiful thigh, and just lightly kiss and lick your lips, then slide my tongue along your slit, and circle my tongue around your clit.” I start circling my finger around my clit, wishing it was his tongue. 

“Seb I wanna cum so badly.” I whine softly.

“Not until I’m finished telling you what I want to do to you, baby.”

“But Seb…”

“Not until I’m done.” He says sternly. Begrudgingly, I hold off as he continues on. “Now where was I? Oh,” he whimpers softly as he pleasures himself, “After teasing you until you can’t take it anymore I finally lap my tongue over your clit, flicking it.” I rub my clit slowly, moaning loudly. “And I just keep doing making you cum over, and over, and over…Fuck...Mmmmhhh,” He growls deeply as he rubs his length, “and then when I’ve decided you’ve had enough, I’d bury my cock in you and fuck you like the good little slut you are.” He stops for a moment again to moan softly. “I want you to cum all over it as I fill your tight little fuckhole.”

“Seb please!” I yelp.

“Mmmfffff~. Does it feel good fucking yourself pretty girl?” He takes his index and middle fingers and slides them in my mouth, slowly thrusting them in and out. “Do you like that baby?” I pump the toy in and out of me as fast as I can and rub my clit faster. I nod my head as I moan around his fingers. “You wanna cum for me, doll?” I nod my head vigorously, He takes his fingers out of my mouth.

“Fuck, Yes. I wanna cum so fucking badly. Please let me, please, please! Can I cum?” I beg. He smiles approvingly.

“Of course you can, my sweet girl. You never have to ask me.” He says while thrusting his cock in his hand as the hitches in his breath come along and his moaning gets louder. My core becomes hot and sensitive, and my muscles contract as my orgasm approaches.

“Fffuuuuck~!” Seb grabs my neck and squeezes tightly as my cunt pulsates around the toy and I cry out in ecstasy. I pull out the toy, continue rubbing my clit and feel my cunt throb uncontrollably as I cry out loudly in bliss and let the orgasm take over every inch of my body, and squirting all over the towel. He lets go of my neck and I watch him grunt, moan, growl, and curse as he strokes his long throbbing member to climax. “Cum all over me, Seb I know you want to.” I grab his hand and lick his fingers lightly and I start rubbing my clit hard again, feeling close again already. 

“Fuck, babe, I’m so fucking close!” Soon, our bodies tense and cum at the same time, listening to the both of us cry out in immense pleasure as our climaxes take over, panting, moaning and shrieking. I cum all over the towel again and he on my breasts and stomach. 

“Fucking hell, Seb…” I moan out. He looks at his cum all over my breasts and stomach. He licks some off my stomach and kisses me, inviting me to taste him. 

“Thought my pretty girl might want a taste…” I bite my lip and look at him. I stroke his face and kiss his cheek.

“You taste so fucking good.” He smiles and kisses my cheek.

“Shit.” He says as we both pant. “You got your cum not only on the towel but on my thighs as well!” I snort softly.

“Sorry! Hehe!” I say snarkily.

“No you’re not. Here, let me take this and…” he pulls the towel out from under me, and uses the dry parts of it to clean me and himself off. “There.” He smiles and tosses the towel on the floor and lowers himself on top of me and pulls the covers over us. I rub his scalp as he kisses all over my neck and cheeks.

“So, what do you think of that, huh?” I ask. “I mean I know it isn’t your cock inside me. But…”

“It was perfect, is what I think.” He says with the biggest smile on his face. 

“I’ve never done that before with anyone.” I murmur. He looks at me, a little surprised.

“I thought you said you liked an audience though.” He states.

“Well I do,” I start, “but I have only had people watch me getting beaten in BDSM scenes, never have I had someone watch me go to town on myself.” I chuckle softly. 

“Well, if you ask my personal opinion on this whole evening,” He rolls off of me and I snuggle right up to him, pulling the covers over us, “is that it was all really intense and intimate in such a way I’ve never experienced before, and intense in a good way, mind you. Like, I have never let a partner or someone I had a significant interest in shave my beard before, let alone shave my beard with a straight razor. That’s a type of trust and vulnerability I’ve never had with someone before. Or, I’ve never gotten myself off in front of a partner either, so that one was new for me as well! Haha!” I smile at him, and he smiles back and kisses my forehead. “What’s on your mind, sweet girl? Your eyes look like you’re lost in thought.” He’s right. I’m very lost in thought right now. Trying to process everything today.

“Yeah, that’s an understatement.” I laugh and nuzzle his neck. He wraps his arms around me.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“These entire 24 plus some hours have been a fucking whirlwind of emotion, and I’m just trying to wrap my brain around it.” I mumble into his neck. “So much passion, of all kinds from all different directions. People hate me, think I’m a slut, think I’m too sexual, too goth, too fat, too ‘out there’, whatever the hell that means, to be with you and here you are like, ‘Hey you’re all cute and stuff, I don’t care what others think and I want to pursue you, here let me be sweet and reassure you and kiss you a million times’, and it’s just...a lot to take in! Haha!” He tilts my face up to look at him and he presses his lips tightly against mine.

“Well, to be fair, you are all cute and stuff,” he boops my nose, “and I don’t give a flying fuck what others think, and I want to pursue you and kiss you a million times. People can say and think what they want all they want, but when they are really taking a stab at someone I care about they’re going to get their asses kicked. Metaphorically of course.” I nod my head and there’s a moment of silence. I prop myself on my elbow.

"Seb?"

"Hmm?" he mumbles as he pulls the covers off of me and grazes his fingertips gently down my sides, over my hips, marveling at my form.

"Why are you so protective of me? I...I don't get it. We've only known each other for an incredibly short period of time." He looks up at me with his piercing blue eyes and caresses my face.

"Because I care about you, and because I'm just naturally very protective of those in my personal life, and well...you are very much part of my personal life, especially after tonight.” We both laugh. “Also because I know what it's like to be different and to stick out like a sore thumb and to be bullied and harassed for it, and I never want someone else to feel the same way I did. You know?" I lie back down and trace my fingers over this chest.

“I mean. Alright, I get that. I just...I need to have a ‘fangirl’ moment okay? Just let me get it out.” We both chuckle.

“Go right ahead.” He suggests.

“So, this whole weekend is almost like a fanfiction I would have written. Never did I imagine this happening in real life, you know? Like...I have thought about meeting you for so long. What would happen? What would I say? How would I want to pose for a picture with you? How do I think a quick back and forth would go? You know?” He smiles from ear to ear at my words. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be in a hotel room, never did I think I would fuck myself with a glass dildo in front of you, never did I think I would squirt on you, never did I think I’d see your cock, never did I think I would be naked in bed with you. So, I have so much giddiness and horniness going on, and I don’t want to let it out because I don’t want to freak you the hell out or anything.” 

“You won’t freak me out, babe I promise.” I stare at him, contemplating. “Also, I mean...you did...let your horniness out all over my thighs…” I shove him and laugh. 

“Shut up!” I say.

“I’m just speaking the truth! Haha!”

“I...I’m just...my mind is blown right now because I never ever thought that I actually had a chance with you, and I’m immensely happy. But also immensely hesitant.”

“Why is that?” He asks.

“Well, the abusive relationship I was in for one. But also…” I pause to take a deep breath and pick my words carefully. He pulls the covers over us.

“You can tell me anything, you know.” He whispers as he strokes my face.

“But also, I’m a clingy human. My love languages are quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. And you are a busy man. Also, because of my trauma, and because of your job, you’ll have to simulate love making scenes with other people. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t bother me at all. I know it’s a totally different situation than the whole abusive poly dynamic, so maybe I’ll surprise myself and it won’t bother me at all. I’m just considering all the possibilities here and one of them is it may bring up some triggers for me, and that is something I will have to deal with and something I will have to overcome ultimately, no matter what we become here.” He bites his lip.

“Alright, so firstly, I adore you, and I adore you even more knowing you sound like you’re just as clingy as I am. So the clinginess...I mean I don’t care. I like knowing someone needs and wants me. And the simulating love scenes, yeah you’re gonna have to handle that, as that’s part of my job. But I will reassure you every step of the way that you are the one I want to be with, and that I’m just doing a job here. Your love languages, I guess when we’re apart I have to text you as often as I can and tell you how pretty you are and how much I care and how much I lo-” His eyes get wide and he stops talking.

“How much you what, now?” I inquire suspiciously.

“What?” 

“What?” I say with a smirk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I raise my eyebrows.

“Uh huh…”

“Really no clue why you’re looking at me like that…”

“The dopamine is really flowing through you right now, huh Seb?” I ask.

“I haven’t the faintest as to what’s going on.” He says grinning. 

“Don’t say that word. Keep that word out of your mouth for now. Don’t jinx this.” I say with a serious tone.

“I didn’t say anything though.” Seb says with a giggle.

“I’m being serious. So many times I or the guy always says those three little words far too soon and it just all goes to shit after that. I want to do things right this time around.” His face scrunches up. “What?”

“Well, who says you did things wrong? Who said you feeling love for your partners ‘too soon’, whatever that means, was wrong?” He says as he wraps his arm around my middle.

“Well…”

“You felt love. You expressed that love by saying it.” He shrugs. “I don’t see anything wrong with that.” I purse my lips and sit with what he said.

“I guess you’re right. Damn, my last relationship really...kind of conditioned me to not express my feelings, for they do not matter.” As I talk he eyes my lips as he licks his own. He locks eyes with mine.

“Your feelings matter. You matter.” He looks back at my lips. “Your lips on mine matter.” I smirk at him. 

“Oh really now?” He smirks back.

“Mmmhmmm.” He caresses my face and kisses me softly. “Hey you, guess what.” He says softly.

“What babe?” I respond.

“You a cutie.” He boops my nose and I giggle.

“You a cutie.” I say back and kiss his nose. “With such a cute little nose at that.” He blushes and holds me close.

“You make me happy.” He says as he buries his face in my neck and smooches it. 

“You also make me happy.” I say. 

“Are you leaving tomorrow after the con?” He hums against my neck. I shake my head.

“Nope. Leaving Monday.” He shoots his head up, looks at me, and grins. “Why? What do you have planned, sneaky boy?” He purses his lips and shrugs.

“Nothing. Yet.” I glare at him. 

“Seeeeeb!”

“Listen, maybe I want our last night together for a while to be memorable, okay? Let me plan in my head.” I cock my eyebrow. “What is your favorite kind of food?”

“Hmmm….Italian.” I say slowly as I study his face.

“Okay. That’s all I need to know.” I narrow my eyes at him.

“What are you planning, Seb?” He puts his finger to my lips.

“Don’t you worry your little head about that, I got it covered.” I shake my head and kiss him.

“You’re crazy.” I smile. He strokes my face with the back of his fingers.

“Crazy for you, sweet girl.”

“You boy, are a walking cliché I swear.” 

“Is that such a bad thing?” I grab his hand and hold it tightly.

“Well, no. But it _does_ make you predictable. Which could equal a little lackluster, like your coffee last night.” I stick my tongue out and he flicks my cheek. “Hey! What did I say?”

“You know _exactly_ what you said. Brat.”

“Asshole.” He playfully glares and kisses me. 

“So, you write fanfiction, huh?” I turn red and cover my face.

“N-nooooo!!! What are you talking about, I never said that!” I look down and bite my lip.

“You know, that pretty little mouth of yours says ‘no’, but those big beautiful brown eyes say ‘yes’. So which one is it?” 

“Believe my mouth.” My eyes get wide, hoping he will believe me.

“Uh huh. Alright, I’ll believe you for now…” He kisses my mouth gently. “We should get to sleep though. Don’t you have to perform tomorrow, Missy?” He boops my nose and I giggle.

“Yes, and don’t you have another panel tomorrow?”

“Well, a small Q&A, yeah.” I kiss him softly.

“I’ll be there. Just uh...no, never mind.”

“Nooooo, you tell me.” He firmly grabs me by the chin.

“It’s embarrassing, and a little weird, I don’t want to tell you!” I say as my face gets hot.

“Tell meeee. I won’t make fun, I promise. ‘Just’ what, doll?” 

“So, I...goddammit, Seb!” I laugh loudly. “I have a thing for like...you sitting...with your legs...like apart…” Seb’s face scrunches up with confusion.

“Whaaat?” I hide my face in a pillow and shriek into it. “Are you saying you like the manspread?” I look at him and turn red. “Like...like it’s a little invitation for you? Huh? Right? Am I right?” He says tauntingly. 

“Oh my god I regret telling you now.” I say hiding my face.

“No, no. Tell me all about what goes through your mind when you see it. I want to know what _exactly_ makes you tick.” I facepalm myself.

“Okay fine. Fuck.” I respond. “You’re right, it’s like an invitation for me to slide my hands up the insides of your thighs and sink my teeth into them.” 

“Mmm. What else, huh? There’s gotta be more than that.” I whimper softly.

“It’s also like an invitation for my mouth to be on your cock. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Mmmm maaaaaybe. But we should stop this conversation before I’ll want to fuck you, because I have no condoms with me.” I smirk at him.

“Who says I don’t want you to fuck me already? I mean, I’ve been wanting you to for a long time now. I just never thought it would happen. So I kept to my fantasies, fully knowing they would never happen.”

“And now here you are naked, lying in bed with me, who is also naked. How do you feel?” I smile and caress his face.

“Like I’m the happiest woman on the face of the planet. That’s how I feel.” He grins and he kisses me, still smiling.

“Ditto. Well. Happiest man on the planet though, of course.” I run my fingers through his dark locks, rubbing his scalp.

“Good. Now, let’s go to sleep. I’m absolutely spent.” I say.

“Alright.” He smiles and turns off the light and holds me close. “Good night, beautiful.” I boop his nose and he kisses my forehead.

“Good night, handsome.”

********************************************************************************

I wake up the next morning before my alarm goes off. It’s still dark, but just light enough to make out the room and I turn my head to see Molly sleeping beside me, and I scoot myself closer to her and kiss her forehead and wrap my arm around her torso. I really have been thinking about how I feel about her. Is it possible to fall in love with someone in a matter of two days? Because. I feel so strongly for her. I was close to slipping up and saying the, “L” word last night and I felt like such an idiot for it because it’s too soon, and I felt a little sad because of her response. Not that I fault her for her response of course. I just overthink and blame myself. She’s so perfect for me though. We mesh so well, so in sync it seems. I mean, I know it’s only been two days. I know it’s infatuation and not love. I know it’s a honeymoon phase. That’s the logical part of my brain saying this. But the emotional part? My heart? I...fuck. Goddammit. I...I love her. There, I said it. I know, I know, it’s nuts. I know it’s illogical, I know it makes no sense, I know, I know, _I KNOW._ But I just really love her. I sound crazy. It’s weird. I want to say I love her. I would like to say it to her, but I don’t want to push it...but I need to tell someone, you know? She starts to stir awake, taking in a deep breath and rolling over on her back and rubbing her eyes.

“Hey you.” I say in a low, raspy voice. She sees me and her face lights up.

“Hi babe.” She says quietly. She turns back on her side and kisses my shoulder lightly as she snuggles up next to me.

“How’d you sleep?” I ask and she smiles tiredly.

“Really well actually. A little odd sharing a bed with someone, but at the same time, comforting for sure.” I press my lips against hers tenderly.

“Same. Haven’t shared a bed with someone in a long time either, so it was a little strange. But seeing as it was you I was sharing it with made it amazing.” She chuckles as my words.

“I don’t snore, do I?” she asks.

“No.” I smile. “You do however make cute little noises in your sleep. I woke up to get a glass of water and heard you making the cutest cooing sounds. Needless to say I fell back to sleep with a smile on my face.” She grins and shakes her head.

“Ah, I have been told I do that in my sleep by a few partners in the past.” I kiss her cheek and look deeply intently at her. “What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” I reply. “Just looking at a really beautiful girl with the most captivating eyes I have ever seen.” She rolls her eyes and laughs. “What? It’s true.” 

“I mean alright, I guess.” She says. She sighs softly.

“Is there something wrong?” I worry, running my hands through her hair.

“I just…” she pauses. “I know we talked about this a little bit last night, but what happens after this? If anything? I’m just having a lot of doubts right now.” I smile.

“Well, we take it one day at a time.” I say. “We enjoy the rest of our time here though, together. Today. We can talk about tomorrow...well, tomorrow. Today I want to enjoy my time I have here with you, doll. Okay?” 

“Okay.” She takes my hand and kisses my thumb.”Can I tell you something? It might be a little weird.” I run my thumb across her lips.

“The weirder the better.” I encourage her.

“Well, okay. So after a night of sexual intimacy, usually in the morning I get like. Little-ish.” she responds.

“Little-ish?”

“Little-ish. Like I’ll…” she looks down, almost in shame. I place the crook of my finger under her chin and lift her face.

“Hey, you can tell me, I won’t judge.” I reassure her.

“I’ll like...it’s the ‘lg’ part in DD/lg basically. I’ll go into a headspace that is like a little girl basically. Not full fledged, but you know a bit here and there. Just being cutesy and cuddling with stuffed animals and such.” she says and hides her face.

“That honestly sounds adorable, not gonna lie.” She peeks out slowly.

“Really? You think so?” I kiss both of her cheeks and her forehead, to which she giggles.

“Yes! One thing I didn’t really want to disclose with you last night, but I do now, is the fact that the whole DD/lg thing is something I’m a little curious about. But outside of sexual stuff for me. I understand it can be involved in sex for some, but it’s not for me.” she listens and nods.

“Yeah, it used to be sexual for me, like saying, ‘Daddy’ during sex, but now, it really isn’t. Then again I think it has a lot to do with that relationship. We had a very not so great DD/lg dynamic.” I kiss her nose softly.

“I’m sorry you had such a negative experience like that. You really do deserve to be treated with respect, baby.” She snuggles up to me and holds me tightly.

“It is all in the past. I have learned a lot from it, and I take that knowledge and apply it to my life now. So yeah.” She smiles. “Oh my god what time is it?” I go to check my phone.

“It iiiiiisssssss…..7:15. I should probably get up and take a shower though. I need to be at the convention center at 9. Good thing cons always end earlier on the last day, because that just means more one on one time with you.” She smiles and kisses me.

“That is true. So what are we doing tonight? Can I have a hint? Please?” I roll over on top of her and she squeals as I kiss all over her face.

“Nnnnnope. No hints.” I kiss her lips softly and she grabs and squishes my face gently.

“Pleeeeeeease?!” She giggles and pouts as she drapes her arms around my neck. I sigh heavily. 

“Well, We’re going to dinner, which you may want to dress up for. Aaaaand after that I thought we could go back to my hotel for the evening. No expectations. No pressure. I will follow your lead. We don’t even have to go to mine if you don’t want to. We can come back here if that makes you feel more comfortable to be close to Joe and Cory. We can do anything you want after dinner.” 

“Caaaaaan we use the Winter Soldier paddle tonight?” I smirk at her.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to start off with Winter Soldier though, babe.” I say, kissing her neck.

“Mmmmhhh~ You can always warm me up with your hands…” I snicker and kiss her deeply.

“God it’s so difficult to resist you, but I have to shower and get readyyyy.” I bite her neck and she whimpers softly. I roll off of her and out of bed.

“Noooo come back!” She begs. I come back and peck her on the lips and she pulls me back in bed.

“What is it? What do you want?” I say smiling.

“You. All I want is you here in bed with me cuddling.” I kiss her cheek and cradle her face in my hands. 

“You’re beautiful. Just thought I’d let you know.” She hides her face under the blankets, but I pull them off. “Nooo, come back here!” I kiss all over her face as she giggles.

“Seeeeb nooooooo!!!!” She squeals.

“Molly yeeeeees.” I kiss her face one last time. “I have to get up and shower, dollface. I’ll be back, I promise.”

_________________________________________________________

I emerge from the bathroom and see a note on the bathroom door. I dry myself off and wrap a towel around my waist and go look at the note, which was letting me know Molls was next door in Cory’s hotel room showering. I lie on the bed and look on instagram, just scrolling, and I get curious and look myself up. Post after post I’m seeing clips from the little speech I made regarding Molls and most people are really understanding and encouraging the relationship. Even hashtagged a ship name for us. Crazy kids. I hear the door open and see Molly.

“Hiya babe!” She says happily and kisses me.

“Hey you. You know, you could’ve told me you needed to shower and I would have just hopped in and out.”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to feel like you had to rush, so I let you have solitude, because I know you value that and I went to shower in Cory’s room. It’s no big deal!” She responds.

“Okay. So how are you doing with all this stuff with the weekend and everything? I just want to make sure you’re doing alright is all.” I ask calmly.

"Well,” she starts, “I’m still nervous to show my face when I’m with you just because of scrutiny toward the both of us. Some of your fans scare me, as much as I love most of the ones I’ve come across.” I nod.

“I understand that. Some of them are quite...quite the characters to say the least. But hey. I was scrolling through instagram and...well...how do you like Sebolly for a ship name?” She sits next to me and looks at me scrunching her face.

“Say what mate?” She snorts softly. I show her what I’ve been looking at on Instagram. As she scrolls, her eyes get big. “Holy shit, so, your words got through to them?” I shrug.

“I guess, I don’t know! But there are so many people defending you and us. I mean still a lot that are not fond of it, but a lot more who are supporting it.” I look at her and her outfit she has on. A short pleated black leather skirt, fishnets and a black and white striped tank top. 

“What?” She asks as I look at her. She smiles and blushes.

“You just look really fucking pretty today, that’s all.” She smiles and kisses my cheek. 

“Thank you babe.”

“So I was thinking maybe if you wanted to, if you’re okay with it, maybe we could take a picture together and I post it to my instagram?” I ask.

“Kind of like a thank you and a, ‘hey let me show off this pretty little dollface!’ type deal?” I chuckle softly.

“Yes. My pretty little dollface. Er...I hope one day you’ll be anyway.” She smiles and grabs my hand.

“We’ll have to see how everything pans out, now will we? Now I suppose putting clothes on would be a good idea before taking this picture, we don’t want fans getting the...well...right idea.” She winks and smirks. I glare at her then get up to put clothes on. “Don’t tag me or anything, I don’t want more attention, positive or negative, than I already am getting.”

“I won’t tag you, I promise.” I say as I throw a shirt on and the rest of my clothes. I have my jeans halfway up my thighs when she runs over and smacks my ass. I zip up my jeans, turn around slowly, and smirk and cock my eyebrow. She purses her lips.

“What?” she asks conspicuously. 

“Oh I think you know very well what…” I say sternly as she giggles and tries to run away, but I tackle her onto the bed and tickle her sides. 

“Ahhhh!!!! Seeeeeeb!!!!!” I keep tickling her sides, working my way down to her hips.

“I won’t stop unless you say stop!” I tell her. She doesn’t respond and keeps laughing.

“Okay, okay! Stop please!” I stop and collapse on top of her. “Okay,” she says, catching her breath, “how do you mean when you say I need to ‘dress up’ for dinner tonight?” 

“Um…pretty formal actually. For the place I have in mind anyway.” Her eyes go wide.

“Sebastian, I am not prepared for this. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would go on a date with you the weekend of a con. So, needless to say, I don’t have anything of the formal variety in my bags.” I motion at the current outfit she has on.

“This should be fine though.” She scoffs. 

“No freaking way am I wearing this to dinner, hon. Although, Cory does bring a lot more than she needs for trips, so maybe she has something. We’ll see.” I kiss her lips and get off the bed.

“Well, one more day at this con and I will be free to be with you once again.” I say as I throw on my boots and pack up to get ready to go. “I can get you coffee later, yeah?” She gets on her knees at the end of the bed and grabs my hand to pull me toward her.

“Noooo. Stay. Please? And we still need to take a selfie together for Instagram.” 

“Oh, duh, that’s right!” I grab my phone out of my pocket. We take the picture and I pick up my stuff to leave when she pulls me back again and kisses me deeply.

“Stay…” She whispers as she places my hand on the inside of her thigh. I graze my fingertips up and down slowly.

“You know I have no time for this, it’s 8:30 already. I need to be there before nine.” She bites her lip and moves my hand to between her legs, gently groping her over her panties. She whimpers softly in my ear and kisses down my neck. I pull her panties to the side and rub her clit slowly as she pulls me closer.

“Ffffuck, Seb….” she murmurs into my collarbone. I slip my fingers inside and pull them out and run them over her clit and repeat the motion a few times, kissing and biting her neck, leaving a mark.

“Doamne...eşti atât de strâns…” I whisper in her ear. She pulls back a little, startled.

“Whoa, what was that?” We chuckle softly.

“Oh shit, You got me so carried away I started speaking a different language. Ha! It means, ‘God, you’re so tight’ in Romanian.” She bites her lip.

“Mmmmhh~ You should speak Romanian more often. Especially if it’s going to be about my cunt.” 

“Does it feel good baby?” I say and she kisses me, slipping her tongue in my mouth. I thrust my fingers in her faster as I feel her muscles tensing more.

“Mmmmmmmffff….yessss…..”

“You wish it was my cock, pretty girl?” Her breathing increases and she slips her hands under my shirt and scratches down my back, making my back arch and my cock pulse uncontrollably. I press her tightly against my body, letting her feel my arousal.

“Y-yes Seb, please make me cum. I’m so fucking close…” she unbuttons and unzips my jeans and slips her left hand in over my boxer briefs and slowly strokes my aching length. "Be close with me…" she says and bites her lip. I whimper softly as she slips her hands beneath my waistband.

"How close are you, sweet girl?" I pull my fingers out and rub her clit. 

"So close...please make me cum Seb…" 

“Yeah? Feels so good being on that edge, huh baby girl?” I slow my fingers down, making sure she doesn’t reach her peak.

“Yes, fuck...please...please make me cum.” She whimpers softly. She looks at me with pleading eyes, begging me to take her over that edge.

“I will, baby I will.” I stop circling my fingers around her clit and move my fingers away. “Tonight, I will.” I smile warmly at her and she looks at me, her mouth agate.

“But...Seb...please?” I only respond by putting my saturated fingers in her mouth and I feel her tongue twirl around them, sucking the cum off as she strokes my cock one more time and takes her hand out. 

“I’m going to ask you to do something for me, and if you don’t want to do it, totally fine. I just thought it would be a fun idea.” I pull my fingers out as she opens her eyes.

“What’s that?”

“I want you to edge yourself five different times today. You get to decide when but that’s what I want.” She tilts her head and smirks.

“Whatever happened to, ‘Oh I couldn’t bear to edge you, I would want you to cum as many times as you can handle it.’? Hmm?” she murmurs.

“Well, that was before I heard you beg for it. Maybe if you didn’t sound so sexy begging for it, I’d let you cum.” She narrows her eyes at me.

“God do I hate you…” I kiss her roughly on the mouth.

“No you don’t. So do you want to do that?” I ask.

“Does this time count as one?” She inquires.

“No, no it does not…” I sneer.

“Fuck. But, okay I’ll do it. Just because the thought of it is making me hot and also torturing me mentally and physically, but I’m liking it.” She blushes, smiles and rolls her eyes.

“Good.” I look at my phone. “Fuck it’s 8:35, I really have to get going babe.” I zip up my jeans, kiss her and grab my stuff. “Tonight. Date. Proper one. You will love it.” I kiss her one more time before making my way out the door. “I’ll see you at the Q&A, doll.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later. Bye, sweets.” I smile at her before turning around to leave.

********************************************************************************

Cory, Joe, and I are sitting in the front row of a pretty small panel room talking and waiting for the Q&A to start. I keep looking at instagram at the picture of Seb and me, I on the left kissing his cheek and he on the right smiling big. I’m trying to not read the comments, but Cory will always point out only the positive ones. The caption he put with the photo says, “I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you for your kind words and support. This weekend has been an emotional roller coaster. I'm glad a lot of you are accepting of this and of Molly too because she’s pretty fucking incredible. Seeing her face makes my day, and she’s such a beautiful human. Anyway, I can’t wait to see all of you at the Q&A at 10 am and to just hang out on this last day! By the way, she shaved the beard, so blame her! Haha!” Seb and I also keep stealing glances at each other and smiling, only being about 6 feet apart from one another.

“Joe…” Cory says nudging him, not paying attention. ”Joe!” She slaps his arm.

“Fuck! What?” Joe exclaims as his long hair whips around with his head. She points to me.

“She just keeps going in and out of reality here.” She responds.

“Guys, I can hear you, you know.” I say, turning my head to them. 

“Oh hey, she’s in the same universe as us, I was afraid we lost you.” Cory says.

“Sorry.” I say. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, I guess like…” I lower my voice, “waking up next to Seb this morning...I thought it’d be weird sharing my bed with someone else after being single for a while, but it wasn’t. I mean a little different, but not as drastic as I thought. I don’t even know what I’m talking about, I just. I really fucking like him. It isn’t just a fangirl thing either, I just. I really, really like him. He’s so fucking sweet, and down to earth, he accepts me for me...I don’t know.” Cory and Joe narrow their eyes at me and both smirk. “What?” I ask.

“Oh nothing.” Joe says, chuckling.

“No, what is it?” I ask.

“Well,” Cory starts, “I’ve known you for what? 10 years? Joe for about like seven or eight. We know you like the backs of our hands. Hell, I think we know you better than you know yourself sometimes.”

“I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at Cory. I have a feeling, but I’m not entirely sure.”

“Molls, Joe and I have an outsider’s perspective on you. Something you’ll never have on yourself. We pick up on things that you don’t even pick up on. Don’t worry, you’ll get it soon enough.” I shrug.

“I just don’t know, I feel so strongly for Seb. It’s really amazing, and terrifying to feel this way. I don’t know how to put it. I just feel really good about things. I know it’s probably just that I’m really fond of him, or infatuation. But I don’t know that just doesn’t cover it for me feelings wise. I don’t know! Ahhh!” I giggle and Joe smiles.

“I think we know though.” I roll my eyes.

“...Alright then…” I mutter. 

“Pssst.” Seb says. I look in his direction again.

“Pssst!” I mock him. He smiles at me. 

“You look really pretty today.” I smile and roll my eyes.

“Thank you, love.” I respond. I smile and I look at Cory. “Hey, do you have anything like...formal that I can wear? Or something more dressy than what I’m wearing?”

“Um, I might have a few things, yeah. Why?”

“Because Sebastian is taking me out to dinner tonight and it’s somewhere formal so I need a dress and I have jack shit.” Cory thinks for a minute.

“I have two choices I can think of off the top of my head that I have with me. I have some shoe options as well. Oh my god can I just be in charge of doing everything to get you ready?! I want to help, please?!” She gets all bouncy and excited. “You can choose colors of lipstick, nail polish, eyeshadow, whatever but let me do it!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll let you do it all! Fine!”

_________________________________________________________

About 25-30 minutes into the q&a, I’m sitting here in my seat and thinking about this morning before Seb left, which is turning me into a puddle practically. Between thinking about that and seeing Seb in front of me subtly teasing me by giving me looks, biting and licking his lips, spreading...his legs...I can’t...I’m a fucking mess, mentally and in my panties. I just want to tackle him right now. My fantasies about our date tonight are interrupted when my name is mentioned. I look over and it’s a fan asking a question.

“Hi, so my name is Kailee.” She says meekly. She’s across the room, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey Kailee.” Sebastian responds. She giggles, and says hello back.

“So, This isn’t a question, and it isn’t for you, Sebastian. I want to take the time here to make an apology to Molly.” She says, her voice starting to shake. “I know, Sebastian, you said one time, ‘You insult the people in my life, you insult me.’ I feel the same way one hundred percent. Molly, I know that...a lot of people said a lot of...just...downright cruel and awful things to and about you over this weekend, and I was one of those people. I realized how hypocritical I was being, and I cannot speak for everyone who has said such horrid words, but I want to say for me, myself, and I that from the bottom of my heart I am so fucking sorry. No one deserves that. There is no excuse for what I said, and I will make no excuse. So, that’s what I want to say, and I hope you will forgive me. I’m sorry this fandom has been so toxic toward you because…” She takes a deep breath, “because that’s not what this fandom is about. And some of us have been showing that toxicity and...it’s not right.” Seb and I look at each other for a quick second. Seb thinks before he says something. 

“Well, that is huge of you to apologize, and I’m sure Molly is grateful you said that. But, I mean,” Seb looks at me, “Do you want to respond?” I look at him, then Cory and Joe. I start to stand up by my seat. 

“I just want to let you know Molly that I totally understand if you don’t want to say anything, I will understand if you want to tell me to fuck off.” I laugh and smile in response.

“Don’t worry I will not tell you to fuck off, I promise! Haha.” I say to her nervously. I look at everyone as I speak. “So...this weekend has been so crazy for so many reasons. I come here like the rest of you guys, as a fan, wanting to meet Sebastian, and it evolved into this whole thing. I’m not one to be in such a huge spotlight, I never intended on trying to go on a date with Seb or anything. It just happened.” I pause to breathe. “I’ve had panic attack after panic attack, and the information that is now out there about me, can really fuck up my future, and I am not going to be soft about that. I am angry. I am still very hurt by the words said and are still very possibly being said. But I have to remember that I have people who are on my side and who love and care about me, and who know me, unlike those people online.” I look at Cory and Joe, and back at Seb, who is smiling. Kailee looks at the floor, ashamed, but I look at her and wait for her to look back at me before continuing. “But it must have been scary to stand up and admit to this. I hear the sincerity in your voice and your body language. You fucked up, and you acknowledge that. I have faith that you’ll learn from this and move forward, So I do forgive you, Kailee.” I look back at Seb. “Sorry sweets, I didn’t mean to take up so much space.” I say and smile at Kailee, who smiles back and I sit down.

“Thanks Molly.” Kailee says. “Also, very cute picture of you two this morning.” I look at Seb, cocking my eyebrow, reminding him of what happened just after that pic was taken. He smirks, turns red and shakes his head. 

_________________________________________________________

After the q&a, Cory, Joe and I go our separate ways. I head to artist alley again to see if there’s anything more I want to buy. I see Seb out of the corner of my eye and I wave to him. I look at a piece of Ninja Sex Party fan art, debating whether or not I want to buy it when my phone buzzes. It’s Seb.  
_Go into the men’s bathroom, but knock on the door once, pause, then three more times so I know it's you._

“The fuck?” I say softly under my breath. Confused, I slowly approach the men’s public bathroom and knock on it the way he told me to. He unlocks the door and lets me in, and locks it again. He picks me up and sits me on the counter, presses his body firmly against mine and kisses me passionately.

“Sorry this isn’t the most romantic place, but I just wanted a moment alone with you to kiss you and feel you close to me. Also sorry if that text message sounded creepy.” He says.

“Ha! Not creepy at all, I was just confused. I miss your lips on mine anyway, so it was a nice surprise.” I press my forehead against his and he cups my face.

“I’m really happy you did that today. For Kailee. That was very sweet. I’m not sure I could do the same if I were in your position.”

“I believe in giving second chances when it’s deserved, and I saw the sincerity in her eyes.” I reply.

“Well,” Sebastian says, pulling his face away from mine slightly, pushing my hair out of my face, “you know, I saw a little something in your eyes during that q&a.” I wrap my arms around his middle, pulling him close.

“Oh yeah? And what did you see?” He runs his thumb over my lips and kisses my cheek.

“Longing, desire, lust.” He kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear. “Of course I don’t know why a pretty little girl like you would have such dirty thoughts.” He delicately pecks down my neck and all I can do is whine softly in response. “Ești fata mea bună.” He kisses back up my neck and kisses my lips, slipping his tongue in my mouth. I moan softly as he creeps his hands up my skirt and grabs my hips, pinning them against his. “Right?” He runs his fingers through my hair and pulls hard. “You’re my good girl?”

“Nnnnhhhh….Yes, Sir I am.” He grins and lets go of my hair.

“If you’re a good girl, you’ll show Sir how badly she wants me…” I tilt my head and squint my eyes.

“Seb, this is a public bathroom.” 

“Who’s Seb?” He says, smirking, trying to get me to call him “Sir” again. I purse my lips and roll my eyes.

“Sir...this is a public bathroom.”

“That’s better. I have the door locked.” He grabs me by the chin firmly. “Now show me.” I do as he says and prop my feet up on the counter, but get nervous and keep my skirt covering myself up.

“There.” I say sarcastically. He looks unamused as he crosses his arms.

“Pull your skirt up, Missy.” I slowly pull my skirt up, exposing my soaked panties. I slowly push my panties over to the side.

“God do I want you right now, so fucking badly baby girl...how many times have you edged yourself so far?” I bite my lip.

“Once...but this is all from the q&a.” I say meekly.

“So, my good girl was having dirty thoughts. I see. Well...we will take care of that tonight...but for now, seeing as you have a performance in about 45 minutes…” He traces his fingers over the mark he left on my neck. 

“Nnnhhh…” I whine out.

“Such a pretty mark...looking forward to leaving more on you.” he says with his lips just inches away from mine.

“Sir…” I mutter as my core pulsates.

“What is it baby girl, hm?” He grabs me by my throat with his left hand, squeezes gently and runs his fingers up and down my slit slowly with his right. 

“Please Sir...” Is all I can get out as his grip on my neck becomes tighter.

“Please what, pretty girl?” I breathe more heavily and moan softly as he slides the tip of his fingers over my entrance, teasing it. “You’re so fucking wet...what could my pretty doll want, huh?” He kisses my lips roughly and I moan against his lips as he thrusts his fingers into me and I yelp in response. He hits my G-spot perfectly and I cry out loudly.

“Fuck...Seb, please can I cum?” His grip on my neck tightens even more.

“Who’s this Seb person you keep referring to?” I growl out of frustration, to which Seb lets go of my throat and grabs my chin and slides his fingers out of my pussy.

“Well that response will not get you what you want, will it?” I whimper and shake my head.

“N-no Sir…” He smiles warmly. “I’m sorry, Sir.” He looks at his drenched fingers, and slips them in his mouth, getting his first taste of me. 

“Mmmmm...abia aștept să te gust astă seară…” I bite my lip. 

“I have no idea what you just said, but it sounds sexy.” I say and chuckle softly. His facial expression goes soft as he smiles.

“I just can’t wait to REALLY taste you tonight, sweet girl.” He pulls my tank top down, yanking one of my breasts out and bites down hard on the inside of it, digging his teeth in. I brace myself and muffle my cries as the pain intensifies. He finally lets go, leaving a sting behind on my delicate skin. He kisses my lips softly. “You should be a good girl and get ready for those performances, yeah?” I steady my breathing and finally get some words out.

“Yes Sir, I should.” I say.

“Good. Oh. One more thing…” 

“What now, Se-I mean Sir?” He bends down a bit and starts kissing up the inside of my left thigh. I close my eyes, my senses focusing solely on his lips lightly touching my soft skin. His tongue drags across my skin effortlessly. I whimper softly as he gets closer to my pussy. Next thing I know I feel him biting me and I gasp. He gnaws and grinds his teeth into my skin as I pull his hair with one hand and cover my mouth with the other, trying not to scream. He tugs on my thigh before he lets go, leaving behind nothing more than a throbbing ache and a bruise forming. He straightens back up and looks at me, smirking. 

“That’s all.” He says as he pecks my lips. “Don’t you have a performance to prepare for?” I glare at him as he stands there, arms folded and smirking. I shake my head.

“You’re just ruining me today.” I say, moving my panties back into place, adjusting my shirt and putting my legs down. “And yes, I do have a performance and way to get me all worked up right beforehand.” He shrugs.

“I mean it’s a good adrenaline rush though, right?” I roll my eyes and scoff. But he’s right. It is a good rush. I cup his face in my hands.

“You’re amazing. As much of a tease as you’re being, you’re amazing. But you’re just ruining me.” He unfolds his arms and caresses my face, then places the crook of his index finger under my chin, lifting my head slightly, giving me direct eye contact.

“Just wait. Tonight I will fucking ravage you.”


	5. Kiss Me Hard Just Like You did At The Start...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb and Molls add more fuel to the speculation fire at the talent show. Molls, Seb and Emily, his manager, meet to have their discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs performed in this chapter:
> 
> "Whore" - In This Moment.
> 
> "Kiss" - Pale Waves.
> 
> I personally find it better to listen to the song as you're reading, but hey that's just me! XD Just suggesting things for you readers. :3
> 
> ~Miss_Masochist <3

“You doing okay Molly?” Cory mouths to me as she sits behind the drumset. I mouth to her “Yes” and turn around to look at the crowd. The talent show took place in one of the halls of the convention, and I was not expecting this many people to show up. It’s a lot. Hundreds. I shuffle in my black lace-up boots and nervously tug at my fishnets and black skirt. I was about to rip the people who have harassed me the last twenty-four hours a new one with this song, and I’m not ready. There isn’t really a “stage” so to say, more like a circular stage area, for everything is all one level, leaving me feeling more vulnerable to not only hearing the heckling and snide side comments better, but potential bodily harm. I take a few deep breaths. I adjust the straps of my black and white striped tank top and start to say something.

“So,” I tremble with fear with every word that escapes my scarlet lips. “There has been some drama the last day about some stuff. Some people have been relentlessly cruel on twitter, and on Seb’s and my Instagram.” I look around and see people rolling their eyes, which only fuels me to continue. “And my Fetlife was leaked. So that’s cool.” I find Stephanie, the girl who vexed me yesterday and I look straight at her. “Call me a whore all you want, but I’m just someone you love to hate, and hate to love, and well...good.” I look back at Alona, the short redhead, who is playing bass, and she winks. I close my eyes, and take some breaths. I look to my right at Joe, and signal him to start whenever he is ready. I close my eyes, letting the guitar encompass my thoughts, my emotions and just focus on the music. I open my eyes, and see Seb in the back, making his way to the front. He smiles and winks at me. I take one last deep breath and the lyrics spill out.

_I'm the girl you've been thinking about.  
The one thing you can't live without.  
Yeah, I'm the girl you've been waiting for,  
I'll have you down on your knees,  
I'll have you begging for more…_

As the song goes on, the anger, fear, anxiety, frustration tears from my lips. My mouth snarls, my eyes narrow, and I go to the most angry place inside my subconscious and just explode. 

_You don't know how hard I fought to survive.  
Waking up alone when I was left to die,  
And you don't know about this life I've led,  
All these roads I've walked,  
All these tears I've bled!_

I look in the crowd, seeing some people’s attention change from their phones to me, others’ jaws dropping, either shocked by a voice like mine coming out of a tiny human like me, or the words are sinking in...either way, I have their attention.

_I can be your whore!  
I am the dirt you created.  
I am your sinner, I am your whore.  
But let me tell you something baby,  
You love me for everything you hate me for!_

I turn around and look at Cory, for I can’t stand to look at the crowd. Cory smiles and sticks her tongue out. She pounds the drums as I jump around to the beat.

_I'm the one that you need and fear  
Now that you're hooked, it's all becoming clear…_

I decide to turn and look right at everyone, give them a piece of their own medicine, coming right up to some of them, inches away. 

_That all your judgments that you placed on me  
Was a reflection of discovery  
So maybe next time when you cast your stones  
From the shadows of the dark unknown  
You will crawl up from your hiding place  
Take a look in the mirror  
See the truth in your face_

I recognize a lot of the faces that were gawking at me yesterday. Judging me with their expressions, thinking they were tough shit when talking about me. Not anymore. They look weak. Guilty. Exposed. Exposed just like I do. Good. It’s just how I want them to feel. I hope my message sinks in for them.

_So how can this be?  
You’re praying to me.  
There’s a look in your eyes,  
I know just what that means.  
That I can be, I can be your everything…_

Tears roll down my face as I unravel emotionally before everyone and I fall to my knees singing the chorus behind gritted teeth. As the song ends, I drop the mic and close my eyes. There’s a brief moment of silence, followed by a roaring applause. I open my eyes slowly and stand, looking at everyone just going crazy. Cory runs over to me.

“Holy shit, that was AMAZING!” She says as I carefully wipe my tears away.

“Wait, wait we did good? We kicked ass? People liked it? W-what?” I ask, startled.

“UH YEAH.” Joe chimes in. I look out at the crowd, still applauding. I look at Seb, who looks amazed. I bite my lip, flushed and I look down at my boots. 

“We can go back and wait for our next performance, there’s a couple between this one and the next one.” Alona says. We head down to the opposite end of the hall so I can take a moment and breathe. Alona goes to her friends and talk to them as Joe, Cory and I huddle together.

“Way to show those assholes who’s boss.” A familiar voice says. I turn around and see Seb, smiling from ear to ear. I run to him and jump into his arms.

“I’m so glad you’re here, holy shit. That was so fucking stressful.” I hold him tightly and kiss his cheek, leaving a perfect mark behind with my lipstick. 

“You did so fucking good, babe. Where did _that_ voice come from, though?” I shake my head.

“I don’t know, I’m just as confused as you are!” I respond.

“Probably the angry pit of despair where her soul used to be.” Joe responded and I shrug.

“I mean, he’s not wrong.” I laugh sofly. 

“Well people really seemed to love it baby.” I flush as I smile at his compliment. 

“Thank you, sweets.” He lightly kisses me on the lips, to not mess up my lipstick.

“What’s the next song going to be? I know you have another one planned.” Seb bites his lip playfully.

“You will just have to see, now won’t you?” I boop his nose and he kisses me again. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll be back in the crowd waiting okay?” He hugs me tightly. “I’m so fucking proud of you.” He whispers in my ear. I look at him and smile.

“Thank you, I’m proud of me too.” He smiles back and rubs his nose against mine.

“Oh my god you guys, get a fucking room.” Joe says jokingly.

“They did. You didn’t hear them last night? Oh right, my room is between both of y’all’s rooms.” Cory says sarcastically. My eyes grow wide, as does Seb’s. “Oh please, don’t act like you’re surprised, you guys were practically screaming last night.” I chuckle and Seb turns a beet red.

“Christ, Cory we’re so sorry.” Seb says. Cory snorts.

“Speak for yourself, Seb. I’m not.” I grin smugly. He grabs me by the hips firmly.

“Ohhh you’re gonna get it tonight, you little brat.” He smirks.

“To be honest it really doesn’t bother me if it’s someone I know. Weird, but yeah.” Cory says.

“Well in that case, we will be sure to be extra loud tonight then, maybe even Joe will hear this time!” I say, laughing my ass off. Seb glares at me and I smirk.

“You’re a smartass, you know that?” He asks and I gently pinch his cheeks.

“I’m so glad you remember my middle name. I’m going to go warm up before the next performance, okay? You can bond with Joe and Cory.” He looks over at them, looks back at me and pouts. 

“Do I _have_ to?” He says sarcastically.

“Babe. As Spice Girls said one time, ‘If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.’” I laugh hardily. “So you go have fun. You’ll love them, trust me. They’re not as scary or dumb as they look.” I smile and kiss him on the lips again and leave to warm up.

********************************************************************************

“Did she just say we look dumb?” Joe asks as I walk over to them.

“She did.” I reply and laugh. “So, I have a question for you guys, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but how bad have Molly’s relationships been in the past?”

“OH.” Cory shouts. “They’ve been quite the shitty relationships. Er...not shitty _per se,_ but certainly this last one...it definitely changed everything for her. In good ways and bad ways. She feels very strongly about pretty much everything. When she gets involved in a fandom, she dives in to the deep end and she loves that fandom like no other.”

“To add on to that,” Joe chimes while putting his hair up and taking a sip of his water, “she loves deeply.” he says, eyeing me up and down conspicuously. “She feels very strongly for you and it’s going way above and beyond just a ‘fangirl’ thing. We can both see it, and we’re betting she feels it, but is scared shitless. She’s just afraid to say it.” He says.

“We’ve seen her get hurt so many fucking times. Too many to count.” Cory says somberly. 

“Way too many fucking times.” Joe adds on, shaking his head. “A majority of the guys she has dated are bullshit. Treated her like shit in a variety of ways, from using her as an emotional crutch to outright emotionally abusing her...you’re the first one in a long time to treat her like a human being.” He says. “To treat her with honest to god respect. She...she’s hesitant though.”

“Of what exactly?” I ask. Hearing all of this information only makes me want to be that much better of a potential partner for her.

“Well...I don’t know if I can disclose that with-” In a burst of energy, Cory interjects, practically yelling.

“She’s afraid of saying exactly what and how she feels. She hasn’t straight out said it to us about you, but she’s been beating around the bush and has said practically everything else. It’s written all over her face that she’s falling for you, Seb, and hard.” She fiddles with her drumsticks in her hands. “Of course, I can’t tell you exactly what’s going through her mind, but I can guess she thinks she’s nuts for feeling that way, because it’s only been two days, you know?” I nod in agreement.

“I can understand that. But...I am really starting to fall for her as well. I feel crazy for saying that, because so many factors come into play in my head, but yeah. I can say that I am really falling...falling in l...love with her…” Joe and Cory look at each other with shock, then excitement. 

“Did...did he just use the ‘L’ word?” Joe asks Cory as he smirks.

“Yyyyyup, he did.” Cory replies. “You may want to tell her that, and soon.”

“But she thinks it’ll be _too_ -"

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, too soon, I know,” Cory interrupts again. “but it’s _so clear_ that she feels the same way, Seb. It’s plain as fucking day. The way she smiles and her eyes light up when she sees you. It’s just so fucking obvious. And yeah, I mean sure someone could say it’s infatuation, not love. Okay, fine, or that it’s a fangirl crush, and I mean that may be a small part of it for sure. I don’t know about you, but, we know when our girl is in love. And she is head over heels for you. So, I suggest you tell her how you feel, because it will make her feel more comfortable for her to tell you. I MEAN ultimately, you guys do what you want, it isn’t my relationship, you know? But I mean fuck, man. I think telling her is a really good idea, it will help her out of her shell and make her see that real love really does exist. That she can be treated with respect with no catches. No lies, no secrets.” Cory sighs. “I just want to see my best friend happy while in a healthy relationship, not getting dragged through the mud for the 273rd time.” I nod somberly in agreement.

“I know. She told me about the poly thing she was in. So toxic. She’s so wonderful though, I don’t know why anyone would treat her like that...fucking assholes.” Cory nudges my arm.

“She’s coming back.” she whispers. “Tell her…”

“I will!” I say back. “Tonight I will!” Cory glares at me and smiles, and Molls looks at Cory and me.

“Whaaaat’s going on here?” She raises her eyebrows. “Cory?” Cory looks at her.

“Oh, nothing, Molls, I was just telling Seb some pretty cool stuff about us and how we met and stuff, and…” she clears her throat. “Yeah. Anyway, we really should get ready to go back on stage. Er….’stage’” Cory says using air quotes. 

“I mean alright! Fine by me!” Molly responds. She kisses me one last time before she runs off with Cory and Joe.

********************************************************************************

When it’s our turn we all go back on and people are excited. Way too excited for my taste...not saying I’m not excited for this performance, it’s just a very up and down weekend, one extreme to the other, and I don’t know how many more strong emotions I can take. But I breathe in, breathe out. I go up to the mic, and look at everyone, losing my absolute shit on the inside.

“I gotta be honest here,” I say in the mic, “This whole weekend has been absolute madness and I’m being totally honest here and transparent when I say I am losing my shit up here. In all ways. Good, bad…so many ups and downs, holy shit. I was just expecting, well what any con goer expects when meeting your favorite celeb. You go, you have fun, you meet them, and have that memory to carry with you the rest of your life. Which is pretty incredible.” I look back at Cory and look at Joe, who is on my left. “This whole weekend has been a total and complete mindfuck, and I’m glad it seems to be ending on a decent note.” 

“Like in F Shaaaaaaaaaaaaarp.” Joe starts singing. I look at him with disgust as Cory follows it up with a comical rimshot. I look at Joe.

“Alright Tim Minchin, calm down, and you!” I look back at Cory, cackling up a storm. “Don’t encourage him! People think I'm weird enough as is.” I say chuckling.

“Well then they know you as well as we do if that’s the case.” Cory says. I roll my eyes.

“I really hate you guys.” I accidentally say into the mic. “Anyway, moving on. So to counteract the last song, we thought we would do something a little more...cheerful. Happy. You know. So I guess here we go!” Cory twirls her drumsticks in her hands and pounds them twice and the guitars start in and I’m in my zone again as I close my eyes letting the music enravel me.

_Oh, you know just how to get to me  
My heart's so lonely  
You live inside my head  
And I cry too much, you said…_

I open my eyes to see Seb smack dab right in front, his eyes locked on mine and I bite my lip and smile.

_Well you're the fashion right now, the fashion right.  
You know I want you tonight.  
Why most nights do you wanna live inside my head?_

He narrows his eyes and blushes, shifting his weight a little. I turn red and smile back as I sing the chorus.

_You're a wave of a dream  
Your love is clean  
You're a wave of a dream  
Your love is clean…_

I cock my eyebrow and smirk as he tries to hold his smile back by biting his lower lip and looking down, but his eyes steal glances at me from time to time. I feel like everyone is looking back and forth between us while at the same time we are the only ones in the room. All I focus on is him.

_Oh, you know just what to say.  
You show love in a different way._

I feel my cheeks get hotter during this verse. Especially when the word, “love” comes out of my mouth...But I don’t lo-...or...do I? I...No. that’s impossible. It’s only been two days, that’s crazy talk. He’s so wonderful though. Every time he holds me I just melt. He’s different. This isn’t love, at least...at least not yet...right?

_You're a wave of a dream  
Your love is clean  
You're a wave of a dream  
Your love is clean.  
Just kiss me hard like you did at the start  
Kiss me hard just like I'm breaking your heart._

Seb looks up at me and I smile, his head tilts and he smiles back.

_Kiss me hard just like you did at the start.  
Kiss me hard just like I'm breaking your heart…_

Before I know it, Seb is running toward me, and right on beat with Cory’s drumming, his lips touch mine and kisses me like it’s the last kiss he’ll ever get from me, and in front of everyone. I break the kiss and I look at him and smile.

“You are crazy.'' I say to him away from the mic. He smiles and grabs me by my chin.

“Crazy for you, sweet girl.” I shake my head and grin.  


“So cliché. Get outta here!” We laugh and he walks away as I continue the song and keep my eyes on him. I finish the song and everyone applauds and screams. Cory jumps over the drumset and Joe puts his guitar on the stand.

“Oh I really can’t wait to help you get ready for that date now.” Cory teases. 

After the show, Seb sees me and runs me into a corner away from everybody, presses his body firmly against mine and kisses me passionately. I run my fingers through his hair and wrap my arms around his neck.

“Hey you.” He says under his breath, looking at me with his big blue orbs. I run my hands over his face. 

“Hiya.” I say back. He pecks my lips. 

“So, I did that whole, ‘kissing you in front of everyone’ thing back there…” I grin and giggle softly.

“Yeah you did do that. Makes me wonder how that conversation with your manager is going to go though.” He shakes his head and purses his lips.

“I don’t think it’ll go over too badly. She knows me pretty well, so I mean…” He shrugs. “I doubt it will be bad, babe.” I look at him for what seems like the longest time. “What is it?” He asks.

“I’m just thinking is all.” He looks at me with a mischievous grin.

“Oh?” He kisses me again. “What about?”

“Just tonight, how dinner will go, where we’re going. Then going back to your hotel room...thinking about what kind of escapades we’ll get into…” I stick my tongue out playfully and lick my lips.

“Mmmhhh...you’ll find out, baby girl. You’ll find out.” I smile and kiss him on the cheek and pull us out of the corner.

“I mean, since people for sure know now,” I hold his hand as we stand in the middle of the large convention hall filled with people and we hold each other close. “do we really have to hide?” 

“No, we don’t, but it’s still fun to do once in a while.” 

“Mmm. True.” I kiss his lips tenderly.

“Molly!” Joe yells and runs to us. 

“Hey! Where’s Cory?” I ask while Joe pulls his phone out.

“She’s taking one last walk around the vendors, see if she wants anything before this whole thing ends. We were going to get some food right after though, do you and Seb wanna join?” 

“I mean I will, I’ll get something small to hold me over until tonight. Seb you wanna come with?” 

“I can always eat.” He says and laughs. “Oh shit, I promised you coffee today and I have yet to give it to you.” I give him a frustrated look.

“Yeah,” I say, “you have yet to give me a lot today…” I say smirking. Joe looks at the both of us, a slightly unappetizing look in his face .

“I have a feeling I may not want to know what that means. But do you want to go to the coffee shop again? They have some good food there!”

“Sure!” I say.

“Alright, let me text Cory, let her know.” Joe says.

********************************************************************************

I’m at the coffee shop with Cory, Joe, and Molly and we’re having a good time. We’re cracking jokes, Cory and Joe are telling embarrassing stories about Molls.

“Well it seems like I’ve gotten myself involved with a criminal here, huh?” I tease, laughing and taunting Molly.

“Okay, honestly I was 10, I didn’t know what I was doing when I was scratching my name into an industrial door with a rock.” Molls replies, trying to persuade us.

“Don’t forget it was at your old catholic school.” Cory says with a sneer and Molly covers her beet red face. 

“Listen, I wasn’t arrested, so I have no record! Leave me alone!” I laugh my ass off along with everyone else. My phone buzzes and it’s a text from Emily, my manager asking where I am and that she wanted to have our discussion.

“Shit.” I mutter as I text her back.

“What is it babe?” Molls asks, worried.

“It’s Emily, my manager. She’s uh. She’s going to be here in a few minutes to talk to us.” I look at Molly, and she seems nervous. 

“This is like meeting the parents, but not.” She chuckles apprehensively.

“It will be fine.” I say with trepidation. “Although, maybe not as fine as I thought it would be. She isn’t too happy with me.” Molly chews on her lip. “Hey, you’re not in trouble, you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, but I played a part in all this you know.” I grab Molls’ hand tightly and look at her.

“You aren’t in trouble. None of this is your fault.”

“Then none of this is your fault either you know.” She assures me. I sigh and notice Joe and Cory nodding in agreement.

“I mean she’s got a point, dude.” Joe acknowledges. I look down at my phone and sigh, stressing the fuck out because everything that’s happened this weekend is all now coming to a head and I forgot about the conversation Em wanted to have because I was just having a nice time with Molly. Fuck. Molls grabs my hand and kisses it. I look up at her, puzzled.

“What’s that for?” I ask. She shrugs nonchalantly.

“I wanted to. It also looked like you needed it.” I smile at her and intertwine my fingers with hers.

“Thank you.” I whisper and kiss her forehead. 

“No problem. I see you fancied up your coffee a little bit.” I chuckle softly.

“Yes I did, thank you for noticing. It is a caramel macchiato. It isn’t _too_ fancy still, but you know.”

“Well,” Molly says, “I suppose I could stop calling you Mr. Lackluster then, I guess.” I smirk at her, then gaze out the window behind Molly to see Emily.

“Fuck.” I utter under my breath. Molls darts her eyes right at me.

“Seb you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m making myself nervous.” Em approaches the table. I’m trying to read her face, body language, but I can’t tell if she’s mad or upset or anything. She smiles big and looks right at Molly.

“Hi!” She reaches her hand out to Molls. “I’m Emily, Sebastian’s manager!” She reciprocates and grabs her hand to shake it.

“Hey I’m Molly!” I smile. Maybe this won’t be so bad then?

“It’s nice to meet you in the flesh!” Em says cheerfully. “Well, I’m going to order something, and I’ll go sit at a different table and you guys can come on over whenever you can! It’s no rush.” She says to the both of us and I smile at her.

“Sounds good, Em. We’ll join you shortly.” I say. She walks away and I look at Molls. She looks back with her big brown eyes and squeezes my face.

“See, that wasn’t too scary, now was it Sebby bear?” She says to me in a childish tone. I look over to see if anyone is paying attention and I grab her thigh and sneak my hand up her skirt and she whimpers. I smirk at her.

“Continue being a brat and see where it will get you.” I whisper in her ear. She glares and sticks her tongue out, but I give Molly a stern look that puts her back in her place.

“Sorry Sir.” She says meekly. I grab her thigh tighter.

“That’s what I thought.” I say firmly. I let go and take a sip of my coffee.

“Oh Seb,” Molls says, “I want to talk to you about a little something for tonight.” I raise my eyebrows.

“What’s that, babe?” I ask. She turns and drapes her legs over my lap.

“So...you can object to this if you want to but I just...I really kind of…” She squints, then looks back at Cory and Joe, their ears perked up. “Can y'all at least PRETEND like you’re not listening?” She chuckles as Cory and Joe start having their own conversation and she turns back to me. “Anyway, where was I?”

“You really kind of…?”

“Ah, yeah. I uh...I really kind of want you to fill me tonight…” Molly bites her lip.

“Now, just to make sure we’re on the same page…” I start. She grabs my chin, pulling me near her face.

“Cum inside me. Breed me. Fill me to the brim, Sir.” She whispers. I glare and smirk at her. 

“If you stop being a brat, maybe I will.” I cock my eyebrow and pull away. She sticks her tongue out in response. Now I grab her by the chin. “Don’t stick that tongue out unless you’re going to use it.” That makes her quickly retract her tongue back into her mouth. Heh. I look over and see Em over at a table, looking at her phone as she sips her coffee as she waits. Molls takes notice that I’m a little anxious.

“Seb, you wanna just go over and talk to her now?” 

“Yeah, let’s just go, because I’m getting a little antsy.” I chew on my thumb, freaking out and thinking about the worst case scenario.

“Hey now,” She says yanking my hand away. “Biting you is my job.” I chuckle. She gets up, grabs her coffee with one hand, her cane with the other, and gives me a look.

“What?” I ask.

“Let’s go talk to her, babe. We’ll be right back guys, alright?” She says, looking at Joe and Cory.

“Okay,” Cory says, “but don’t be making out like last time, alright?” Molls shakes her head, pursing her lips. 

“Y’all are punks.” she says.

“Why yes we are, thank you for noticing!” Joe says sarcastically and Molly grins.

“We’ll be back.” She says and we walk to the table where Emily is. 

“Hey there, Em!” I say cheerily.

“Hey you guys! Okay so are you all feeling alright, just before we start the conversation?” Emily asks. 

“Well, Seb seems a little nervous, but I’m pretty alright. I think he thinks he’s in deep trouble or something, which I told him things would be fine.” Emily looks at Seb, smiling.

“Seb I’ve known you forever. I’m not your mom, I’m not going to scold you. I’m not her mom either, but my wanting to protect her is kicked into high gear right now. I will, however, dig at you a little for this morning’s instagram post later.”

“It was very impulsive, but it made things a bit better.” I say with a half smile, shuffling my feet.

“I mean, yeah it most definitely was impulsive Seb. Molly,” She directs her gaze at her, “how are you doing? I know that this weekend must have been rough for you, to say the least.” Molly snorts softly.

“Uh, yeah It’s been rough, and very stressful. But I mean, I got through it. I’m alive. In one piece. That counts for something, right?” She says happily. I grab her hand.

“I think it does. You’ve been through hell this weekend.” She smiles at me and bites her lip.

“Well, Sebastian’s fans are...err...how do I put it…eccentric?” Em laughs lightly then she takes a sip of her coffee.

“I mean...I would have added ‘nuts’ for some of them quite frankly.” Molly says, to which I almost spit out my drink laughing, and Molly looks at me with a sly grin. “Well it’s true, fans are just as horrid to you as they are kind and humble. Pretty horrible.” I shrug, apprehensive to agree. It’s true though. 

“Those people aren’t fans of mine then if they're acting like that. They just make things worse.”

"Well his fans are...passionate let's just say that." Emily interrupts. "But with how passionate they are, you guys will have to keep things low key. I'm pretty surprised at your actions this weekend, Seb. Especially kissing her in front of everyone today at that performance. Which by the way Molly we need to talk about your voice cuz holy crap! But anyway." Molly and I chuckle. 

"Well thanks!" She replies happily. 

"You're welcome!" she shakes her head in confusion at me and whispers, "Sebastian. What the hell happened this weekend?” My stomach drops and my entire body gets hot when she asks. I talk in a low voice and twiddle my thumbs.

“I saw a girl. Thought she was pretty. Asked her out to coffee.” I shrug. “That’s what happened.” Emily closes her eyes and sighs and rubs her temples.

“As I said to you on the phone yesterday, you’re a grown man and you can make your own decisions. But you need to keep in mind your career and how this will impact you and Molly, both positively and negatively. I mean you both got a dose of the negative this weekend. Some people are not going to let this fly.” I tap my foot on the ground anxiously as her words escape her mouth. Molly puts her hand on my knee and looks at me.

“You alright?” she whispers. I nod my head as I chew my lip. She squeezes my knee and gives me a look of upset, and I stop chewing my lip. Molly looks back at Em, and takes a deep breath. “So, if you don’t mind me inserting my opinion here, Emily?” She says hesitantly.

“Yeah, of course.” Em encourages.

“So, I know that Sebastian has done a lot of impulsive things this weekend. Asking me to coffee, talking at the panel regarding the issues, kissing me during today’s performance in front of everyone, the public displays of affection...I know. I know. Some of these things surprised me because I know he’s a private person. So I can’t tell you what he was thinking, seeing as I’m not in his mind. But I can tell you that I can see he wears his heart on his sleeve, and he’s one of the kindest people I have ever met, and he really does care about me, and I know that he is a good man, and that his fans know he’s a good man. I know he will recover from this backlash. I know that I played a part in this as well, and...” 

“So, now I want to say something.” I interrupt Molls. “This isn’t your fault, okay? I’ve been telling you this all day. Em, I know that, you know, the things I’ve done this weekend are really big risks. I know that. This could fuck a lot of things up potentially. But…” I look at Molls, sigh and take her hand. “She’s just fucking amazing. And all I can really say is I’m sorry that I’m human. That my heart wants what it wants.” Molly looks at me stunned, though I don’t think she should be. It’s pretty obvious that I want her in my life. “I know that sounds really dumb. But the moment I saw her on Friday I was just enamored and curious to know more. So I asked her to coffee, and then it went downhill from there with fans and Twitter and everything. But with Molly and me, it only made us closer. She and I were getting harassed and we were there for one another. Despite a lot of things going sour, a lot of things went right this weekend as well. And...if people don’t want to hire me for movies because of this, fuck ‘em.” Molly shoots straight up in her chair and looks at me wide-eyed.

“Seb, I thought we talked about this yesterday morning. Don’t risk your career for me, that’s just foolish.” 

“And I said I don’t want to not pursue this and wonder, ‘what if?’” I shoot back at her adamantly. “I know it’s only been since Friday that I met you, but...there’s just something in the pit of my stomach telling me to not give up on this.”

“Seb, this won’t ruin your career,” Emily says, “but this thing you have with Molly needs to be private, or at least as private as possible from now on. I never said don’t do it, I never said don’t pursue her. I am saying however, you need to protect her and you need to protect yourself. Not that I’m saying you can’t protect yourself Molly, it’s just that Seb knows a lot about the whole fame aspect thing if you know what I mean.” Molly nods her head.

“Oh no I get what you’re saying. I’m just your average midwest girl, I know not a whole lot here.” Molls chuckles. I sigh and feel an anxiety attack approaching. Fuck. 

“I just want to tell you two to just please be careful, okay? I care very deeply about you Seb, and when I see hate from others regarding you it pisses me off, because they don’t know you like I do. This time is no exception either. The hate toward the both of you is wrong, spiteful and despicable at best. I see you two really care about one another, and I want nothing but good things for you guys. But you need to keep things in check here, okay?” I nod nervously and just look down at the floor. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should have acted better this weekend. “Okay, so. I just wanted to go over that for now. Sebastian we will talk more tomorrow, okay? I’ll see you later.” 

“Um, yeah, I’ll see you! Thanks Em.” I say back and stand up to give her a hug.

“I have to get going. It was really nice meeting you Molly!” She says merrily and shakes her hand again.

“It was nice meeting you too, Emily!” When she leaves, Molls and I are silent for a few seconds.

“Um, I’m going to go to the bathroom, okay?” I say emotionlessly. I get up and head to the bathroom without waiting for her to reply, my brain going in a hundred different directions at a mile a minute. Molly calls for me but I’m too stuck in my own head to do anything about it.

********************************************************************************

“Seb!” I yell, following him. I have a feeling he is going in there to have an anxiety attack, I know that body language from anywhere. I enter the bathroom and stand back as he looks at himself in the mirror.

“Fuuuuck!” He growls behind his teeth. I slowly approach him and carefully prop myself up on the counter and set my cane to the side, sitting beside him. 

“Seb, what’s going on right now? Please talk to me.” He looks up at me, tears rolling down his face. “Babe…” I say quietly in a saddened tone.

“I...I should have looked out for you more. I should have protected you, I should have kept things more private, I should have done more to keep you safe, I should have defended you more but I didn’t. I fucked up and you fell victim to such awful fucking people because they have nothing better to do with their lives except fucking bitch on twitter about things over which they have no control! Fucking...Gahhh!!!” I grab his hand and pull him toward me. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, where the fuck is all this coming from? You are a good man. Okay?” I wipe his tears away and stroke his face. “Everything you did this weekend was incredible. If you don’t call that keeping me safe, defending me, protecting me, then I don’t know what is. What you did is more than most of my partners have done for me. You’re fucking amazing, babe." He starts to tear up again and he looks down.

"I'm just thinking that I'm a piece of shit who looked out for their own self interest and didn't even think of yours." My brows furrow in worry.

“I don’t think that, babe.” I place the crook of my finger under his chin to tilt his face up to look at me. I smile at him. “I do think, however, we got so caught up in our own little bubble together that we weren’t thinking of the consequences outside of that bubble. And, you know. It’s pretty nice being in that bubble with you, I gotta say.” A smile spreads across his face.

“Yeah? You think that now. I’m not an easy person to date.” I smirk, remembering what he said to me yesterday morning.

“Well, no one is easy to date, Seb. Everyone’s got their own baggage.” He smiles and narrows his eyes at me.

“You stole my line.” He says smugly. 

“Yeah, well, some of the things you say are pretty wise.” I shrug and roll my eyes and we both laugh. “So, tell me what you have planned for us tonight. Get your mind off of all this bullshit.” I say while I wrap my arms around his waist.

“Well, I made a reservation for us at a really nice Italian restaurant.”

“Ooo. Fancy. Olive Garden?” I guess sarcastically. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“No, not Olive Garden, you smartass.” He giggles. “It’s really nice, it’s called, ‘La Gustosa’.”

“Oh that _does_ sound fancy.” I run my hands down his sides and grab his hips as I feel the heat gradually rising in my body. “Anything else?” I grin.

“Well, I also thought if you wanted to, after dinner we could go dancing? Maybe?” 

“Babe, I can’t dance worth shit.” I say as my smile fades. He tilts his head.

“Anyone can dance.” I shift uneasily and let go of his hips.

“I’m extremely self conscious of my body with dancing because of my disability.” I frown and feel like I’ve ruined his plan tonight. He puts his hands on either side of me on the counter, leaning against it.

“Well, we can try it, and if you feel uncomfortable at any point, we can stop and go back to my hotel room, okay?” I smile and nod my head, reassured.

“Okay, babe.” I kiss him softly on the lips, and he moans quietly against my lips.

“Because I personally would love to see your body talk.” I roll my eyes.

“So much cheese you are made of, Seb.” I caress his face. “We can also talk about what we desire to happen back at the hotel? Talk limits, boundaries, all the things?” His mouth curls into a mischievous grin. 

“I would love that.” He responds deviously and leans closer to me.

“What’s that look for, huh?” I raise my eyebrow teasingly. 

“Mmm...don’t worry about it.” He fixes his ocean eyes squarely on my lips and he bites his. He looks back into my eyes and moves toward me, pressing his mouth forcefully against mine, teasing me with the tip of his tongue just barely grazing against my lips. Seb pulls me to the edge of the counter, pressing my hips vehemently against his. His hands wander up my sides and squeeze my breasts tightly, making me gasp loudly and wince in pain. I break the kiss, trying to catch my breath.

“Fuck...Seb we should wait until tonight, because if you keep going I will just want you to pound me.” I say with desperation in my voice. He runs his hands over my shoulder blades, running them down my back slowly and grabs my hips as I whimper.

“You’re right, you’re right.” He says, smiling mischievously as he watches me react to his touch. “It’s just that I want you all to myself again so badly. I just want more one on one time with you.” 

“I know, I know. Tonight.” I look at my phone. “See? It’s already 2. What time is our reservation?”

“Seven.” he whispers and kisses me deeply again, making me moan. 

“Well, five more hours babe. Actually less if you think about it because you’ll have to pick me up, right? So four and a half hours let’s say.” He grins and kisses me softly on the neck a few times. “Mmmmmhh~ let’s get out of here. Bathrooms seem to be a trend with us today. I’m surprised no one has come in here yet.” Right when I say that I hear Joe from outside the door.

“Y’all fuckin’?” He shouts. Seb and I laugh hysterically.

“Oh my god, kill me please?” I ask. “No Joe, we’re not fucking, good lord! You can piss in peace.” Joe races in.

“Oh good because it would have been a nightmare coming in on that. No offense to either of you. Also, Cory wants to get going and wants to help you get ready tonight. She’s too excited. She has everything planned out apparently. Dress, makeup, everything.” Joe discloses. I look at Seb and shrug. 

“I guess that’s my cue to leave, babe.” We leave the bathroom and meet up with Cory, who approaches me excitedly.

“OKAY. So we have to go and get you ready because I need to help and I’m too fucking excited to wait, can we go?!” She says very quickly and promptly. 

“Oh my god, calm down! Yes we can get going, after Joe comes out of the bathroom of course.” Joe emerges from the bathroom and we start heading for the door. Seb stops us. 

“Wait, um. I have to talk to Cory and Joe for a second.”

“What do you have planned, Sir?” I ask, smirking and cocking my eyebrow.

“Just you wait, pretty girl. Just you wait.” He smiles and kisses my cheek and gives me a soft grin.

“Aaaaalright. I trust you enough. I’ll be outside then.” I walk out of the coffee shop and sit on a bench outside, zoning out and thinking about tonight, and the potential future of what this relationship may look like. Fuck. I think I love him already.


	6. When It Feels Like This...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molls and Seb go out on a dinner date, and discuss their own difficult pasts with life and relationships. Also on the table, the present, and their future together, as well as negotiations for their night in together. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this chapter: 
> 
> Outnumbered - Dermot Kennedy
> 
> Feels Like This - Maisie Peters
> 
> In case you're one of those readers who like to listen to the music as you're reading it. :3

Later, back in my hotel room after taking a shower, I’m wrapped in a towel and Cory and Joe help me get ready for my date with Seb. I sit in a rolly chair while Joe stands behind me running his hands through my hair figuring out what to do with it while Cory is on the floor going through all her makeup palettes to choose what to do with my face. All of this is very overwhelming, but I know they mean well and are just looking out for me. 

“Guys, you know this isn’t a huge deal, right? It’s just a date.” I say, attempting to talk myself out of my own anxiety. Cory stops and looks at me.

“Are you serious right now? The girl who makes a moderate to big deal out of every date she’s ever had is saying this isn’t a big deal. And of all dates you’re saying is not a big deal, it’s with Sebastian fucking Stan.” I fold my hands into my lap, cracking my knuckles.

“I’m nervous as fuck because I didn’t put too much thought into this! Yet I’ve been fantasizing about this happening for so long. I never thought I, of all people, would be going on a date with HIM, of all people. I never thought ANY OF THIS WOULD HAPPEN. EVER. This whole weekend I was totally okay and cool and collected with him, well, for the most part, and now it’s all coming to a head, fuck me I guess!” Cory gets up from the floor and sits in another chair in front of me. 

“Okay. What is going on? What are you nervous about? Talk to us about it.” she says in a nervous chuckle.

“I don’t even know. I guess it’s because it will be my first time having a proper date in a while, and with him of all people. I’m so hyper focused on what could go wrong tonight. From the mundane to the extreme.” Joe grabs either side of my head and pulls it back, making me look at him.

“Well I think you should focus on the positive.” He says as he gently smacks my face. “You guys will have some honest to god alone time, with none of us around, no schedule to worry about. No panels for him to be at.” 

“Dates in general are pretty nerve racking.” Cory chimes. “But you’ll be fine. Seb really freaking cares about you.” I push myself up in the seat and sigh. 

“I always get nervous for dates, because it for some reason makes me very self aware of my physical disability, which sometimes leads to tripping and falling, embarrassing moments.” I began. “So I just imagine making a fool of myself. He also wants to take me dancing, which makes me even more anxious!”

“Well,” Cory replies while starting to apply primer and foundation to my face, “let him know. Let him be aware. Stating you are nervous will make the situation less so.”

“Have you thought that maybe he is just as nervous as you are?” Joe adds to the conversation. 

“To be honest, I have been so wrapped up in my own anxiety I didn’t even stop to think he might also be nervous or anxious.” There’s a moment of silence and Cory puts concealer on under my eyes and around my nose.

“Well, Miss Molly, I think you have nothing to worry about. He will take good care of you, I know he will. What are you guys going to do after dancing?” I feel my body get hot suddenly.

“Uh...we’re going to go back to his hotel room and spend the night together...why?” Joe and Cory share looks with each other, then Cory looks back at me.

“Girl, if you don’t have his cock in your mouth at any point tonight, count the date as a fail.” She snorts. 

“Oh my god I want to kill you.” I respond, rolling my eyes.

“I still don’t know what to do with your hair, Molly.” I look at Joe in the mirror.

“I don’t have much hair to work with anyway with this fohawk, so pretty limited. Just blow dry it, give it some volume at the roots and go from there.” I suggest to him, signaling at Cory to give him my hairspray and texturizing powder. “But not too much product. I have a feeling rough play will be happening tonight anyway. Gotta make it so he can pull on it easily.” I snicker.

“So, personal question…” Cory says with a small giggle.

“Oh god. What?” I ask, knowing it has to be a sexual question.

“So...you don’t have to go into any detail if you don’t want to, but like...what all happened last night?” She probes while blending out my contour with a beauty blender, then setting my face with powder.

“It was really nice, we just cuddled, and then I offered to shave his beard. We talked about my poly relationship, and it was just...really fucking great. It was very vulnerable for the both of us for many reasons.” Cory smiles.

“I’m glad he’s treating you so well, and with so much respect. He really does seem like a decent human being.” She responds merrily.

“But we wanna know about all the groaning and moaning we heard late last night as well.” Joe beseeches with a content grin on his face. 

“PFFFT. AHAHAHA!” Cory exclaims. “I mean, he’s not wrong though. I’m kind of curious about the little bumping and grinding from last night as well. The walls are thin in this hotel, girl, and you guys are not quiet, like at all.” She says while loading a brush up with black eyeshadow and applying it to my lids.

“Well, that part was really...fucking hot, and no I didn’t have his dick in me if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Dry humping, nice, nice.” Joe responds snarkily. I hit his leg.

“No, not that, you smartass.” I roll my eyes and snicker softly.

“So, you went down on each other.” Cory joins in, raising her right eyebrow.

“Nope.” I reply, positive they won’t get it right.

“Handy?” Joe yells over the blow dryer after he turns it on.

“Ha! No! Let’s say we didn’t touch each other much to get off.” Cory furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

“Wait, did you guys get yourselves off in front of each other?” I tease her by shrugging. 

“Ding, ding, ding! What do we have for her, Johnny?” I yell over the hair dryer. Cory laughs as she finishes up working on my eyes and moves on to contouring and blush.

“I kind of wish I had the gall to do that in front of a guy. Or anyone for that matter.” Cory says pensively. “But there’s always been something weird I felt about getting off in front of someone. Like. The other person IS there, so why not just let them do it for you, you know?” 

“Well, no one knows how to please you like you do. Plus watching Seb getting off to me getting off was...quite a sight, I can’t lie, man. It also makes me feel really confident that someone like him wants me in that way. I never thought he would find me attractive. Maybe pretty, but not anything past that.” Joe turns off the hair dryer and puts the texturizing powder on my head.

“Well, with how I’m doing here with just your makeup alone, he won’t be able to keep his hands off of you.” Cory hands me a mirror. I look at myself, dumbfounded.

“Oh my god Cory, this looks beautiful.” I react in awe. It’s a black smokey eye with purple in the crease. Cory looks at me with joy. 

“I’m so glad you love it! It really makes your eyes pop! I have a few options for highlight, all of them blinding of course because I know how you like to glow to the gods. Um. I have a purply-pink iridescent highlight, I have a white shimmery highlight, I have a champagne highlight...I think that’s all I have that I think would go with this look.”

“Hmmm….the purply pink would be great.” 

“Can I have hairspray please?” Joe asks.

“Maybe, can I get a better look at my hair?” I ask back, grabbing the hairspray and the mirror.

“Yeah, of course!” Joe says happily. I look at it and love it, like I always do when Joe does my hair, which isn’t all that often.

“Why don’t I have you guys do my hair and makeup more often? This looks so fucking great you guys, thank you!” 

“Probably because you rarely let anyone help you out with things.” Joe says.

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” I say as Cory applies the highlight and I look over at the lipstick. “You think we can just go nude with the lipstick? Maybe some gloss over it?” 

“You’ll both be nude by the end of the night.” Joe mutters under her breath and I elbow him in the crotch accidentally, and he doubles over groaning in pain.

“OH MY GOD MOLLY YOU KILLED HIM!” Cory roars in laughter.

“Joe, holy shit I didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry! I thought I was elbowing your thigh, I’m so sorry!” I say, trying to repress my own cackling.

“That’s okay. I think.” Joe squeaks just loud enough for us to hear. “It’s a good thing I finished your hair before any of this. I’m just going to be over here in agony, don’t mind me.” He moans as he limps over to the bed.

“Joe I’m SO sorry! I really didn’t mean to!” I say apologetically.

“It’s okay, I think I’m alright. I think. Look at your hair though, it looks so freaking badass!” I look in the mirror and see my hair and the hugest smile spreads across my face. 

“Dude why didn’t you come with me to cosmetology school, honestly? We could have paired up and had a business of hair and skin care! This pompadour looks beautiful! So much better than what I could do.” An idea pops into my mind. “Wait, can you get the rose that Seb gave me last night? And a pair of scissors? It’s over there.” I point to the violet rose in a glass of water on the nightstand. Cory walks over and gives the rose to me and gives me a pair of scissors from her makeup bag. I cut the stem a little shorter and I tuck it into my hair and take a couple bobby pins sitting on the table to secure it in on the side of the pomp. “So? How does it look?”

“You look like a goth 1950s housewife and I’m kind of living for it.” Cory emits as she sprays some setting spray on my face. “Come on let’s move on to clothes, yeah?” Cory walks over to the closet, where a black garment bag is hanging on a hook. She turns back around and looks at me. “So, before I show you, this is my favorite dress. I wear it for special occasions, and you know me, I always have to have clothes for EVERY occasion with me, because...you just never know! I never let ANYONE ELSE wear it. You mean THAT MUCH to me that I am going to let you wear it tonight.” She turns to unzip the bag, then looks back. “Any food, drink, or cum stains and...I don’t know I’ll have it cleaned, I just wanted to say, ‘cum stains’.” she snickers loudly. I shake my head, laughing myself. She reveals the dress. It’s short, strapless, and black with a black paisley lace design over the top of it.

“Holy shit.” I mumble softly.

“I mean I know it isn’t much, it’s a simple little black dress, but I thought since I have it here, and it’s a special occasion for my girl, that she should wear it to her first legit date with Seb.” I just stand there and gawk. It’s quite simple, but that’s what makes it so beautiful. “So? What do you think? Yes? No? I have other options.”

“Um yes! Will it fit over a corset I’m planning on wearing?” I wiggle my eyebrows and smirk.

“Oooo! That lacy purple and black one?” She asks excitedly, doing a little dance. “That one makes your tits look AMAZING.” Joe and I snort loudly and start laughing in response.

“Yes, the underbust one you absolute dork!”

“I mean I don’t see why not, it isn’t a real bulky one, so yeah it could fit underneath.” I move to the bathroom and get my thong on the matches the corset and get fishnet thigh highs on. When I position the corset and fasten the busque, I ask Cory to come in to help tighten the laces. I stand in front of the sink as she gradually tightens it more, making sure I can still breathe.

“God I haven’t worn one of these in a hot minute. Then again I haven't gone on a date in a hot minute either, so…”

“How are you feeling about all this? This weekend, getting this kind of attention from Seb? Must be overwhelming as hell.” She tightens the laces more as I suck in as much as I can.

“Overwhelming is an understatement. God, I mean, seeing that people found my Fet, sent me death threats, harassed me...I’m surprised I’m still here to be honest. I don’t know, having Seb find me in the elevator alone panicking yesterday before the panel was really comforting. That was my lowest point for sure this weekend.”

“Oh my god, that’s where you had escaped to? I was trying to contact you and find you but you weren’t responding. Jesus, Molly. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“It’s alright. I mean I separated from you guys because I wanted to be alone. But Seb just happened to be getting into the same elevator, weirdly enough so…” She ties up the back and tucks the extra string in. 

“Well, still. You know you can always come to me and Joe.” She says looking at me with worry.

“I know it, I just needed a moment.” Cory nods.

“Yeah I can understand that. You can still breathe, right?” She giggles, referring to the corset. I take a steady and easy breath.

“Yep! We’re good to go!” 

“Perfect! Honestly though, when Seb takes off this dress and sees this he’s gonna fucking destroy you I swear.”

“Aha! Sure!” I hear my phone buzz. I pick it up and it’s Seb. It’s a picture of just his hands clutching at a black suit jacket. Heat spreads across my face, making my cheeks flush. He then sends a message saying, _“Can’t wait to finally have you in my arms again tonight. We need this.”_ My heart skips a beat when I read, “we”. I look up at Cory in the mirror.

“I think I might love him.” I blurt out. I slap my hand over my mouth immediately when the words slip from my mouth and my body gets tense. She smirks and shakes her head. 

“Of course you do. It’s so obvious. I’ve known you for 10 years, you think I wouldn’t know you were head over heels for someone?” I look up and smile like an idiot. “What did he send you?”

“A picture of a closeup of his hands just holding onto his suit jacket. I recognize that suit from anywhere too. You guys didn’t tell him I adored the Givenchy suit he wore to the Infinity War premiere, did you?” Cory looks to the side and purses her lips, grinning and shrugging.

“Aaaaaamong other things...yes. Now let’s get you in this dress finally, yeah? As much as Seb would love to see you just like this, I think some mystery might make it more enticing.” I laugh and step into the dress carefully.

“I mean I don’t know how the restaurant would feel about me being there with my tits out quite frankly, but ya know, whatever. How should I reply to this picture though?” Before Cory zips me up, she grabs my phone immediately after I ask. 

“Do the same thing with the corset as Seb did with his jacket. Just...tease by unfastening the busque and opening it a little, and I’ll take a closeup pic of that. I was also thinking of taking a picture of the rose in your hair too.” She winks and bites on her lip ring. I undo the busque and let her take the picture, as well as the rose in my hair. I send him the rose picture first. When Cory zips me up, I get a reply from Seb.

 _“Is that the rose I gave you? You look perfect already. I can’t wait to see you.”_

“He’s way too fucking good to be true...what if this is just a set up? What if he’s tricking me? What if he doesn’t really care and just wants a piece of ass? What if-” Cory turns me to face her and puts her finger to my lips.

“Shush. That is not the case, trust me. He _really_ likes you, Molly. Trust me, and trust Joe. Sebastian cares about you so much.” 

“What did you guys talk about when you guys stayed behind in the coffee shop?” Cory turns me back around to fix my hair a bit.

“Don’t worry about it.” She smiles roguishly, and I glare at her. Something’s going on.

“What are you planning?” I ask with a giggle.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Just have a good time, okay?” My phone goes off again and I check the message. 

“Seb’s on his way, and he said he isn’t that far from the hotel, so...” I announce nervously. I reply to him with the corset picture, saying, _“Good. I can’t wait.”_

“Ahhh!!! Are you excited?”

“I feel like I’m going to shit myself, quite frankly.” Joe trudges by and chimes in.

“That’s some excitement if I ever heard any!”

“How are your balls?” Cory asks with a satirical grin. I laugh and look down at my feet, realizing we didn’t pick any shoes. Fuck.

“They are getting better, thank you.”

“I NEED SHOES, GUYS.” I yell anxiously.

“I GOT YOU COVERED.” Cory runs out of the bathroom and I get a response from Seb.

“Good fucking lord, you’re going to kill me tonight. I’m almost there by the way!” 

“HE’S ALMOST HERE, GET ME SOME FUCKING SHOES.” I scream running out of the bathroom and freaking out.

“Holy shit girl, okay! Here take my purple suede pumps. Perfect pop of color.” I slip them on carefully.

“I feel like I just grew like six inches in two seconds. This is great! Is this what it’s like to be tall?” I ask, being the shortest one in our friend group.

“I think you break five feet in these. Goals!” Joe says high fiving me.

“Yeeeeeessss!” I exclaim loudly.

“Can you walk in them okay?” Cory asks. “I just don’t want you tripping and falling, I know how you’re very picky with heels because of crippledness and everything.” 

“Ha! Yeah, I’ll be fine!” I sit on the bed and wait nervously for him. So many thoughts go through my head. What is it about me that he likes? Why does he want me? All these doubts go through my head and I start fumbling around with the dress. I want him. I really do. I don’t want to screw this up. He always seems to go for these conventionally beautiful women and...just...why me? I’m not the type he goes for. What if I am a charity case like that one tweet said? I hear a knock at the door that fortunately interrupts my thought process. I stand up and straighten my dress. My heart is beating so fast I feel like I’m going to go into cardiac arrest right then and there.

“Password.” Joe demands firmly before opening the door. I roll my eyes and cross my arms. 

“Joe, let the poor man in.” Joe refuses, waiting for him to say something.

“Uh. Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car? Any of those?” He asks through the door.

“Eh. Fair enough.” Joe shrugs and opens the door. The moment I see him my heart jumps into my throat. There he is. In that sunning Givenchy suit. I suddenly feel underdressed, I don’t feel pretty enough. He is way too good for me. I just stay where I am, about three feet away from him. I can’t move. He can’t seem to either, as we’re just standing and gawking at each other. Everything suddenly becomes so surreal. This...this is really happening.

********************************************************************************

“Good job Joe, you got the man to trigger himself. She’s on a date with Seb, not the winter soldier. Goddammit! Now she’s gonna be killed!” Cory responds sarcastically. I chuckle and when I look at Molly I feel like I can’t breathe. 

“Holy shit.” I whisper. I look at her, and am taken aback. “You look...I…” I can’t find the words.

“I hope that speechlessness is a good thing!” Molly says chuckling. I just look at her and nod. She looks back and blushes. 

“You look beautiful.” I say softly. She smiles and covers her face. I walk over to her and pull her hands away from her face. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” She smiles and bites her lip.

“I also grew like five inches with these shoes! Ha!” She says, her voice a little shaky. I think I grew a few inches as well...

“Well guys, both of you should get going, yeah? Your reservation is in like a half hour.”

“Oh fuck, we should really go then.” Molly grabs her purse and starts to head out the door. Cory hugs Molly tightly, followed by Joe. 

“Have a good time. Be safe.” Joe yells.

“Use condoms, lube. And Seb?” She puts her hand on my shoulder. 

“Yes, Cory.” I respond with a giggle. Molly stands there glaring at Cory and crossing her arms. 

“She’s going to say something that’ll make me smack her later, I can just feel it.” Molly says with a corner of her mouth curling into a grin.

“Eat her pussy like it’s the last fucking meal you’ll have.” Molly starts shaking her head, covers her mouth and turns around walking away and I can’t help but start cackling. “One of her favorite things is someone’s head between her thighs, and she hasn’t had that in a LONG time. so go and make that happen! Love you Molls, BYE!” She closes the door and I turn to look at her beet red face.

“Oh my fucking god, I can’t with that girl sometimes! I will get her later I swear!” she exclaims in a breathy laugh. I just walk up to her and cradle her face in my hands. She looks up at me doe-eyed. 

“Good lord you’re fucking stunning, babe.” She compresses her lips into a smile.

“Thank youuuu.” She says shyly. I press my lips against hers and wrap my arms around her middle. “You look so fucking handsome. God I love this suit.”

“Aaaagh.” I respond, as she giggles.

“You also got a haircut. It’s like every time I see you, you have less hair.” She says, running her hand up the back of my head. “I like it. The back and sides have that freshly buzzed texture I love.”

“AH. I wish I could take compliments better. But thank you I suppose.” I take Molls by the hand as we walk to the elevator to go downstairs. I press the button and the door opens almost immediately. We get in and when the door closes I eagerly approach her, catch her off guard and kiss her fervently on the lips, slipping my tongue in her mouth, making her moan softly.

“Oh wow, hey there, handsome.” She says suggestively. 

“Hey you.” I whisper against her lips. “So why didn’t you tell me you wanted your pussy eaten out so badly, hm?” I ask slyly. She tugs on my bottom lip with her teeth, making me gasp.

“It uh...it slipped my mind, I guess.” She says.

“Oh, so, one of your favorite things according to Cory, just...slipped your mind, huh?” She looks away and purses her lips, trying not to smile.

"Yyyyyes." She replies, then peers at me with narrowed eyes, with an exaggerated grin. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll accept that answer...for now…” I let off a little and press the button going down. I offer her my arm when we walk out to the car. I open the car door for her and she blushes.

“Not used to being treated so nicely. It’s a little weird.” Molly says with her shoulders tense and up to her ears and her on her purse as her other taps nervously on her cane. I turn to her and grab her hand, which instantly relaxes to my touch. 

“Being treated with respect is a thing I do, I hope you recognize this by now!” I smile widely and she giggles. 

“That I know! But I just...can I be honest?”

“Always babe.”

“I’m nervous as shit for tonight. I have all these thoughts going through my head, remembering certain things people said in tweets and my anxiety is getting to me again and..” I tighten my grasp on her hands and her eyes cloud over with despondency.

“Fuck ‘em. Fuck those people, Fuck their tweets.” I bend down to meet her eye to eye. I let go of her hands and place my index finger under her chin. “I am here with you because I want to be. Never do I waste my time with people I don’t care about. Tonight is about us and us alone. No one else. No catch. No lies. No deceit. I promise, babe.” Her eyes light up and a smile slowly gleams across her face.

“Okay.” She whispers and gets into the car. I get in on the driver’s side and stop to look at her. 

“Is there something wrong?” Molly asks. We put on our seatbelts and I start the car and just look at her and kiss her cheek.

“Nope. Absolutely nothing. You just look really fucking beautiful.” She turns a bright pink and hides her face as she smiles.

“Sebastiaaaaaan! God stop complimenting me it’s like...reducing me to a puddle!” I chuckle and put on my sunglasses, and start driving to the restaurant.

“But reducing you to a puddle is my job, my fată drăguță.” She looks at me and glares, then looks down at her lap seemingly with shame.

“I really need to learn Romanian.” She remarks and shakes her head.

“It means, ‘pretty girl’. It’s okay I can teach you over time.” She looks back at me and cocks her eyebrow.

“More than just the dirty stuff, too, ya know.” I snicker lowly and grab her hand. 

“Of course, micuțul meu.” I look at her and she just smiles.

“You know, you could really say you need to take a shit right now and tell me you said something like, ‘good girl’ and I’d probably believe you, right?” I chuckle softly.

“Pffft. Okay for the record, I would never say that to trick you. I said, ‘my little one.'" I look at her reaction. Her entire face blushes and I smile with satisfaction. She looks out the window to hide her face. “What? What did I say?” I say in a sarcastic tone. She looks at me with a smug look.

“‘Little one’ makes me all weak and melty…maybe a little wet…” She says snarkily. I tilt my sunglasses to look over them and straight at her.

“Wait, what? Can you say that again?”

“Don’t you make me repeat it.” We stop at an intersection and I grab her by the chin and jerk her head to turn and face me.

“I will make you repeat it if I want to.” Her brown eyes get wide and she squeezes her legs together as she lets out a small whine.

“Yes Sir.” She mutters softly. I let go of her chin just in time for the light to turn green.

“Good girl. What did you say?” She turns pinker as the words escape her lips.

“I said that you calling me, ‘little one’ makes me weak and melty, Sir.” I turn into the parking lot of the restaurant, park slightly away from the other cars and turn the engine off. 

“Mm.” I slip off my sunglasses. “There was more. There was something else, wasn’t there, little one?” I She whimpers when I say those magic words.

“That it might make me wet when you call me that, Sir.” She bites her lip as I unbuckle both our seatbelts and I turn to her and slip my left hand between her thighs, pushing her dress up.

“Yeah? Is that so?” I purr in her ear. My hand goes up her left thigh and run my fingers over her panties, making her mewl quietly.

“Seb what about...everyone around?” She asks between her hitched breaths.

“Who’s Seb?” She presses her lips together tightly in slight frustration and growls softly, but she closes her eyes as she gives in to my touch. “I also don’t see anyone around right now.”

“Sir...please…” 

“Please what, sweet girl, please what? Please slip my fingers in your panties?” I say lowly as I push her panties to the side and feather my fingers over her soft lips. Her mouth ajar as soft groans fall from her lips. “Please spread you open and tease your tight, wet, greedy cunt?” I spread her open with my ring and index finger and slide my middle finger between her folds, working my way up and down her pooled core, neglecting her clit. She licks her lips, struggling to stifle her moans. I kiss up and down her neck and nibble her ear lobe. “Please slide my fingers into your pretty little pussy and fuck it achingly slow?” I thrust my fingers inside and pump them in and out as slowly as possible.

“Sir...fuck…” she mutters under her breath.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me all day, haven’t you? You’ve been so patient today, waiting for tonight, huh?” I take my fingers out and focus my attention on her clit, to which her entire body jerks and I chuckle. I take her hand and place it on my arousal and strokes it at a leisurely pace. “Waiting for this? Waiting for me to use you? Degrade you? Mark you as mine and fill you and breed you?” She bites her lip and slowly turns her head to face me. Her eyes glazed over with lust, little moans and whimpers coming out of her the more I wiggle my fingers over her clit. She tries catching her breath as she speaks.

“Take me, fuck me, destroy my cunt, and ruin me for other men. That’s what I’ve been waiting for.” She tightens her grip slightly on my cock, making me tense up and I smirk at her.

“Oh, don’t worry micuțul meu, I got that covered.” I look at the clock on the radio. It’s 6:55, and our reservation is at 7. “But we have a reservation we need to get to.” I kiss slowly her neck up to her ear and whisper, “So, we’ll have to save the ruining for later.” I kiss her softly on the cheek and lick her cum off my fingers. She lets out a frustrated grunt. 

“I swear if I were able-bodied, I would make one swift move to just mount you right now.” She says while adjusting her panties and pulling her dress back down. “You’re such a tease, and I just…”

“Love it?” I finish. She gives me a look that could kill. “Well _that_ means yes.” I snicker softly. She giggles and holds my hand.

“You really do look handsome. Even better with the very obvious boner. Nice touch, Seb.” 

“Yeah? And whose fault is that? Now we have to sit here for a bit before we go in...okay I guess this is my fault.”

“Aww. It’s like our first date all over again.” I smile and shake my head. “Can’t you like...adjust or something?” She asks.

“Unfortunately with this suit, I can’t conceal no matter what I do.” She gives me an exaggerated pout.

“Aw. Poor baby.” She whines. I playfully scoff at her.

“Okay, you little brat, fine. Let’s go in.” She chuckles and I get out, make my way around and open her door. We make our way in. Molly looks up at me, her face scrunched up.

“Why is it so fuckin’ dark?” she whispers to me and I chuckle softly. The host leads us with a flashlight to a private room with our table, lit only with a small circular centerpiece that is just light enough for us to see each other. I pull her chair out and she smiles timidly. “Thank you Sebastian.”

“Of course! So, let me explain the darkness, okay?” I say as I walk over to my seat.

“I’m waiting.” She says with her eyebrow cocked.

“So Cory and Joe told me you get super anxious with dates, sometimes to the point where you can’t even keep up with your own thoughts because you think of everything that can go wrong.”

“I mean, yeah, sounds about right, ha!” 

“And I also have date anxiety, so I did some searching around for a restaurant with really dim lighting, because dimly lit atmospheres, tend to be more relaxing. Sooooo I thought this would help a little bit with our fragile brains after this rough weekend.” Her facial expression softens.

“Seb...that’s probably one of the most thoughtful things ever. I’ve never even thought about that before, but this is pretty awesome so far. This is very thoughtful. It is very relaxing.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. I hold hers tightly and gaze at her again. The waiter comes by and fills our glasses with water and hands us menus. Molls leans over to get her phone out of her purse for a light . “I think this is the first time I’ll have to use my light on my phone to look at-” She stops when she comes back up and finds me holding my phone over her menu. She looks confused as she tried to take my phone.

“No, it’s fine I got it covered, babe.” She takes her hand off my phone and smiles pensively.

“Why are you like this?” She laughs nervously.

“What, I can’t be a gentleman?”

“It isn’t that, it’s just...I don’t know, I’m not used to people doing things like this for me.” She says while fumbling with her hands.

“Do you want me to stop? I can let you use your own phone or let you hold mine if it makes you feel uneasy, it’s okay!” She chuckles softly. The last thing I want to do is make her nervous or uncomfortable.

“No, I really do appreciate it! I just have to get used to….being treated like a person I guess, you know?” I nod in agreement

“I think you do have to get used to it, yeah. So what do you think you’ll get?” She squints her eyes, thinking.

“I don’t know. Pesto or maybe prosciutto pasta?” She looks over at me. “Babe you sure you don’t want me to hold your phone? You look like you’re struggling a bit.”

“No, no I’m totally fine, this is what I train for.” She purses her lips and snorts.

“Uhhhh huh. So _that’s_ what you have Don for? So you can hold your phone over a menu for girls with whom you’re on dark dining dates?” I look down and sigh.

“Fuck, my cover’s blown now.” I say sarcastically and she cackles in response.

“You can look at your menu now I have chosen what to get, ya dork.”

“Well fine, be that way, I’ll just leave you in the dark then, have all the light to myself.” I say jokingly.  
_________________________________________________________

A little while after we get our food, I notice Molly getting fidgety as we talk about our own individual futures and what we want out of our lives. Talking about how I will have to travel a lot for acting gigs, she seemed to understand, but was still a little saddened. We had also talked again about her insecurities and her issues with any potential love scenes I would have to act out. Logically, she is aware of everything and knows it isn’t real and isn’t anything more than work. I explained to her it’s more awkward than anything doing those scenes on set. And we also talked about the distance and everything. It will be difficult, but I don’t see why this can’t work if there’s enough communication, honesty and trust.

“Hey are you okay?” I ask. There’s a drawn out silence that seems to last forever.

“No, not really. I’ll be honest.” A tear rolls down her face and she pats her face dry with the black cloth napkin.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She bites her lip and rolls her eyes and shakes her head. I hope I didn’t say anything wrong. I didn’t want her to get upset, especially tonight. I know she finds it difficult to talk about the future. She is someone who very much lives in the moment.

“So...fuck, how do I say this? So, talking about our futures and what we want out of them, they sound pretty cohesive for the most part. They seem to meld pretty well, except for the fact that you know it will be long distance for us, you in New York, me in Wisconsin, but it sounds probable that we can work it out, you know?” I nod my head, listening. “My brain though, is going in a thousand different directions at a million miles per hour because...why me? Like...like what the fuck, Seb?” She and I both laugh. “I don’t mean to ask that in an angry way either, just. What the fuck? I’m sitting here just waiting for a catch. Something to go wrong. Something to fuck all this up. Because that’s how my brain works, it goes to the worst case scenario in .5 seconds.” She pauses to take a breath. “I. Am. Not. Easy. To. Date. I overthink everything. I think the worst case scenario. I’m stubborn as hell. I may want you close to me one second and push you away the next.” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Plus...I’m not conventionally attractive, not by a long shot. You date these tall, fit, beautiful, long blonde haired women and I’m just here at a whopping four foot nine inches, I’m a decently thicc woman, short hair whose color changes every two minutes. And periodically I buzz it all off, just to start from scratch. I’m disabled, queer, very alternative and my political views are those of an anarchist variety. SO I MEAN...What the fuck would you want with me? Why me? I’m a goddamn basketcase at times, and I’m pretty unconventional in many ways. I still don’t get it. What about me made you think, ‘Oh, yeah, definitely want to know more about her!’? I know I’ve dealt with my trauma pretty well, and I’m pretty okay for the most part, but...this is all new for me...I don’t know how to explain it. But why ME? Okay, sorry I’m done…” She takes in a deep breath and I grab her hand.

“I would love to answer that question.” She smiles warmly and interlaces her fingers with mine.

“I would love to hear your answer.” She says, taking a bite of her prosciutto pasta.

“The first time I saw you, I instantly became interested. I mean as I told you before, I have a soft spot for alternative girls, so I couldn’t not try at the very least.” I smirk and wink at her and she rolls her eyes, smiling. “You’re beautiful. You’re wonderful. When I’m around you, you just...you have this vibe. It calms me down instantly. You’re so approachable, and you make me feel so comfortable, like it’s okay to let my walls down and be vulnerable, and I’ve never really truly had that with many of my past partners. Plus you match the level of dorkiness that I am, so there is that!” She giggles and rubs her thumb on my hand.

“I’m sorry you have never felt truly vulnerable in any of your romantic relationships. Everyone should have that. Everyone who desires a romantic relationship should be able to be completely vulnerable with that someone.” She says as I take a bite of garlic bread, swallowing before I respond.

“I’ve been in unhealthy relationships too. I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been taken advantage of, I’ve been treated very poorly. I have quite a few scars myself, and I’m not saying this to make this about me, I hope you know that. I’m saying this to relate, to let you know that I know to some degree how you feel.” She props her elbow on the table and rests her face in her hand.

“It can’t be easy dating when you’re a well known actor, huh?” She asks with a playful sneer.

“No, it’s not. At all.” I chuckle, attempting to alleviate some tension. “I need to really keep my guards up. I don’t know who to trust. I don’t know if the person is in it for me or for the benefits of getting their name out there in the tabloids, or to get further in their career. I mean not to say I’m a big name actor to begin with, I mostly stick to independent projects and such, but you know with Bucky and Marvel it got my name out there for sure, which was a big game changer for me, and I’m more than grateful for. My goal is to be an actor. Not a movie star. I have no desire for that. I want to do my job and I want to do it” I tap my fist lightly on the table, “well.” I chuckle quietly. Molls smiles softly and my face turns beet red.

“So what makes you think I won’t treat you badly or take advantage of you? Not that I would, but I’m just wondering.” She starts rubbing my hand with hers and I smile as I look down at them.

“I don’t really know how to answer that question. I just feel like you wouldn’t. You know it’s tough to date in Hollywood, in the acting industry for many reasons, and I don’t want to make this a pity party…”

“Seb, you’re a human who has difficulties and feelings too, I don’t think you’re making this into a pity party.” Molls takes a sip of her water.

“Okay I just...get hesitant talking about things like this sometimes. But one big one is finding someone who’s just as patient, just as grounded, and down to earth as I am. I know a lot of people look at me and see the surface and are like, ‘Oh he’s a handsome rich man, he can have whomever he wants.’ And I guess I could if I were a total and complete douchebag and took advantage of my position as an actor, but I’m not like that. I don’t want to do that either, I don’t want to abuse my platform. This is why I only keep around those who love me and support me and help keep me in check when I start to let shit like fame and stress and whatnot get to my head.” She gives me a cheeky grin but tries to hide it. I narrow my eyes at her and cock my eyebrow. “What’s that look for?”

“I don’t mean to turn this serious conversation into something sexual, but the only things I’d let get to your head is my mouth and my cunt, so…” I facepalm, close my eyes and grin like a moron.

“Oh fuck you…” I whisper. She looks around to see if anyone is looking and takes my middle and ring fingers and puts the tips in her mouth and sucks lightly, making her way down, thrusting them in and out. She pulls them out and licks them from base to tip, causing a hitch in my breath and my cock to stir. I bite my lip and glare at her.

“Later, I promise.” She says enticingly. I caress her chin and run my thumb over her lips, to which she gasps and holds her breath. Her mouth slightly ajar, she moans and flicks her tongue over my thumb, closing her eyes.

“Not so tough now, are you?” I respond in a hushed tone. She opens her eyes.

“I’m sorry Sir, I couldn’t help it.” Molly hums against my skin.

“Yeah, I’m sure you couldn’t, could you, you little minx?” 

“I...I really couldn’t though…” I slip my thumb in her mouth as I feel as she twirls her tongue around and whimpers against it.

“You know if I could, I would bend you over this table right now and turn that cute little ass of yours into a galaxy of colors with that paddle. You know. Make you feel the Winter Soldier’s wrath with how you’re behaving right now. But as you said…’later.’” She stops and looks at me with big doe eyes as I take my thumb out of her mouth.

“Fuck me up, Sarge.” She says under her breath and smiles, to which I smile back.

“Oh believe me dollface, I will.” Her lips meet mine and she cups my face in her hands, kissing me sloppily and teasing me by slipping just the tip of her tongue in, making me moan. I break the kiss before I get too carried away.

“Okay, okay,” I say chuckling, “I think, maybe this is a good time to talk about limits, boundaries since it’s pretty clear things are going to happen tonight, yeah?” 

“Alright, I’m all for it. What tone do we want to set for tonight? Do we want something cute, romantic, light bondage and spanking? Or are we degrading, choking me until blacking out, and beating me until I’m black, blue and purple all over?” She smiles innocently as she sees my facial expression from aroused to slightly scared as she speaks. “You know, I’m just kidding about the blackout thing, I’m not into that!” 

“I was going to say, I want you to be conscious the entire time and not...possibly dead.” She laughs under her breath.

“What? You don’t want to know if I’m cumming or going?”

“I’d rather you cum, but I mean hey,” I put my hand on my chest, “that’s just me.” 

“Well, for reference, how you squeezed my neck last night and today was perfect. It made me light headed just enough. Good to know what you’re doing with that because if you were to do it the wrong way you could potentially do a lot of damage.”

“So, squeezing the sides was the way to go?” Just the tip of her tongue pokes out and she licks her lip from left to right, giving me a cheeky smile.

“Yeeeeessss. Blood chokes are amazing. Not a fan of cutting off air supply, you know.” She takes a sip of her water and I grin, trying to hold back a chuckle.

“Me neither, they’re a great band.” She chokes on her drink and covers her mouth, trying not to laugh.

“You know, for not being a dad, you make quite a lot of dad jokes. Fucking dork, good lord. Also, that was not consensual choking, you dick!” She cackles and crosses her arms.

“Hey. You date me, this is what you sign up for. Dad jokes, cheesiness, and bad puns on the daily. And I’m so sorry for making you choke on your drink, I should have asked first.” She gives me a dirty look.

“You’re such an ass. But I guess this is going to be my life if we move forward with this connection. I’m alright with that!”

“This is me, take it or leave it. Uh. So, I want to know, does your disability affect kink in any way, and if so, how? I just want to be aware, I want to be safe, I want to…how did you say it on Friday? I want to hurt you, but not harm you?” She smiles, seemingly in a sense of respect.

“I really appreciate you asking this, because seeing as I live with a disability and just see it as just a part of my life, I forget to put it into consideration sometimes when it comes to kink. Ha! So, yes my disability can very much affect a scene in different ways depending on multiple variables. For instance, I can’t stand for a long period of time, so scenes where I have to stand are out of the question. You want to do something like, bend me over this table for instance, like you were talking about earlier, I will be fine for longer because I am leaning against something and have that support. I also have minor scoliosis, so there’s another thing to keep in mind, so if I’m in one position for a while, I may have to adjust, get comfortable again, though I’m sure this can apply to everyone, I still feel this is important to mention, oh my god I forgot I have food in front of me, I should eat, especially if shit’s gonna go down tonight, haha!” I laugh hardily and she takes a couple more bites of her food. “Sorry I’m just really into this conversation. It’s like you mention kink, my ears perk up and I can talk about this for so long!” 

“I mean I’m more than okay with this, I’m just a baby compared to you experience wise, so I’m just sitting here learning about your bodily autonomy and your limits and boundaries, so…” She takes a huge sip of her water.

“Which I admire, but your autonomy and your limits are just as important here, babe. Just because you’re playing my Top or Dom tonight doesn’t mean your concerns should not be taken into account too.” She says. “Um, I also wanted to ask an unsexy question. May be unsexy, but it will be beneficial in the long run.” She says as she gets her phone out.

“What’s the question?” I ask.

“So, it’s gonna sound odd, but I’m very ethical when it comes to my sexual endeavors, and I wanted to know the last time you got tested, and are you in the clear? I got tested a couple weeks ago, and I have my results here. Had to log into my account and shit so yeah.” I grin in response to her question.

“Very ethical you are, I love it. I did get tested a month ago. Here let me get my results and prove to you that I’m free of STI/STDs and not just talking out my ass.” I get my phone out and we trade results, find we are both in the clear and we high five each other and laugh. “But, now that that’s been covered, going back to the autonomy thing, you are going to be on the receiving end of this, so to be fair you are in a little bit more control of this tonight than I am.” She narrows her eyes at my small rebuttal, but nods her head.

“Alright, I see where you’re coming from, I see you. I hear you.” She says, giving the, “I’m watching you” signal with a smirk. “This doesn’t mean you’re any less important, goddammit.”

“I understand that, I just thought I’d put my opinion out there, that’s all!” I respond, backing off a little bit, trying to not come off so confrontational.

“No, no, you’re fine! I really think this communication is important, more so than the actual action of the scene, because it establishes boundaries, where we’re at mentally and emotionally for tonight. It really says a lot about...a lot. You know?”

“I just don’t want to do anything wrong tonight with you, or to you for that matter. I just don’t want to fuck things up I guess.” She puts her hand to my cheek and gives me a look of reassurance.

“Seb, we’re just getting to know each other in all of the ways. It’s bound that we’re going to mess up. It’s all part of learning about each other, learning about what we like, what we don’t like, how to soothe one’s anxiety, how to...I don’t know, spank me?” I chuckle softly. “It’s all trial and error. There is room to mess up a little. If, say, you don’t want to use the paddle, it’s totally fine. I will only go as fast and as far as you want to kink wise, because you’re the less experienced one between the two of us. Just...don’t put anything in my ass. That is a hard limit for me.” Molly grins and then takes the last bites of her pasta.

“Deal. What about marking though?” She purses her lips, pondering. 

“Well. As long as nothing is permanent. I’m okay with marks anywhere except my face, arms, and my knees down. I just really don’t like my lower legs to be hurt. You can get my thighs all day long though. What about you? You’re the actor, you’re the one that’s in the public eye, where am I allowed to leave marks, if any?” I put my fingers to my lips and mull over that question for a minute.

“I...hmmmm...not my neck, or shoulders for obvious reasons. Not my arms either...I think I'd say everything else is free reign for now to be honest."

"Hehe, good." She says with that sexy devious smile of hers as she rubs her hands together. 

"Fuck. What do you have planned, sweet girl?" She cocks her eyebrow and speaks lowly.

"What, you think I'm just going to give all that away? I'm a brat, I don't play games unless they’re of my own making." I glare at her and reach over to gently grab her chin and smirk.

"Hmmm….but when you teach me more about how to be a better Dom to you, I hope you know you'll be eating those words pretty quickly, so I'd be careful about what you say, missy." She gives me a sneer and purses her lips as I let go of her face.

"That's what they all say in the beginning…" she smiles and chuckles under her breath.

"So, dancing. How are you feeling about that tonight?" 

"As long as it's slow dancing, I'm for it." She says hesitantly.

"I know the perfect place for that.” I say with a grin.

********************************************************************************

I get my wallet out, prepared to pay for my part of the meal, but Sebastian looks at me and puts his hand on my hand.

“Uh, what are you doing?” He questions.

“Uh, paying for my meal. What are you doing?”

“Uh, paying for both our meals, put your wallet away.” He demands with a soft smile. The way he said it sent chills up my spine. I usually would be so adamant, but something about him and his demeanor makes me back down. It isn’t threatening, it’s just a, “Let me take care of you.” Kind of thing. It’s kind of sexy as fuck, and I just want him to destroy me...soon Molly, soon, caaaaalm down. I put my wallet back in my purse. 

“Okay, I’m totally fine with that.” I say quietly. 

“Are you though?” I zip up my purse and put it on the floor and put my hands up, surrendering the price of my meal to him.

“Yes Sebastian, I’m sure.” I chuckle.

“Well good, because regardless of your answer, I was going to pay.” I look at him as he gets his card out. I can’t stop thinking about pushing everything off this table and letting him have his way with me. I snap out of it just long enough to ask a question.

“Can we keep talking about the limits, boundaries, and everything? There’s more.”

“Yeah, of course! What’s on your mind?” He asks.

“A safe word. We should have a safe word. I have one in mind, mainly because I use it already, but yeah. And are there any other limits you can think of for yourself at the moment? It's just really important to me to know as much as possible before going into anything kinky or sexual with a person.” I state.. 

“I can’t think of any other limits at the moment. How about this, if there is something you do that makes me uncomfortable, I’ll let you know. Sound good?” I find myself zoning out again and looking at his hands. So badly do I want them all over me touching, caressing, scratching every inch of my quivering body. I want his thumb running across my lips again, his fingers between my teeth and my tongue circling around them while he bites his lip watching me, hungry for more. “Molls? You okay with that?” I look back up at his face and look into his eyes. He must know what I’m thinking. I bite my lip and blush.

“I just want you so fucking badly right now.” He chuckles softly. “No, I’m so dead fucking serious, Seb, like...I’m so desperate for you, it’s not even funny. I can’t think clearly. I want you all over me and I want you to pound me so fucking hard right now.” He bites his lip and starts to reach over to touch my face, but I grab his hand with both of mine to stop him. “I swear you touch my face with those hands of yours, I have no control and I will unravel before you and I will not. Fucking. Stop.” He puts his hand down on the table. He grins and licks his lips. The waiter comes by and takes our plates and places the check on the table and Seb gives them his card and we thank them. When they walk away, Sebastian leans over the table, bringing his face close to mine. 

“Sounds like I need to take control of you tonight since you have no control of yourself, huh, micuțul meu?” He asks in a hushed tone. I may not know Romanian, but I _do_ remember _that_ phrase. I whimper softly and he leans back into his seat, giving a sly grin at my exceedingly vulnerable state. The waiter hands his card back and Seb puts it in his wallet.

“Thank you for dinner, I really appreciate it.” I say as I grab a few mints from my purse and stick them in my mouth.

“You’re welcome. May I have a few?”

“Of course.” I give him three and he pops them in his mouth.

“Now...dancing? Yes?” I groan in frustration.

“But...but…” He shushes me.

“But just two songs. Just two. I promise. There’s a place right around the corner, we can walk it.” I sigh deeply.

“Fiiiiiine.” I laugh and begrudgingly agree. He takes my hand and we walk out of the restaurant. It’s a beautiful, crisp, clear night as we walk on the sidewalk. I look up to see the stars, and then look to my right, to see the man, whose hand I’m holding. He looks back and he grins from ear to ear. I suddenly have the urge to tell him how I’m really feeling. Do I just say it? Do I let it pass? I stop and squeeze his hand. He looks at me with a puzzled expression on his face.

“What is it babe?” I try to speak but nothing will come out. I walk over to a wall and lean my back against it.

“So, I’m having a moment where I have the chutzpah to say something again, and I don’t want to waste it.” I shift a little in my stance, my heart is pounding out of my chest and I can barely breathe. He might think I’m nuts, he might end the date right here, but I need to tell him.

“Alright, what is it, sweet girl?” I panic and I take another mint out of my purse and stick it in my mouth. My oral fixation can act up in nerve wracking moments as well as sexy ones, and it can get annoying at times.

“I don’t care what society thinks. I don’t care what other people have to think about it being ‘too soon’ to speak of it. Society’s standards can shove it, and our connection is already an unconventional one as is, so why not say it at an unconventional time? I know that I said saying it too soon would jinx it. I also know that you asked, ‘Who said that feeling it for your partners too soon was wrong?’ I have no control over how I feel. I only have control over how I act on those feelings.” I take a deep breath, trying to slow down my heartbeat. “You can decide to end the date right here if you want to when I say this, but I need to be transparent with you.”

“What are you trying to say here, Molls?” I gaze longingly into his eyes and run my hands up his neck and cradle his face.

“What I’m trying to say is that I fucking love you, you nerd!” He beams sunnily at my words, and wraps his arms around my middle pulling me away from the wall, followed by my arms enveloping his neck, and kisses me deeply.

“I fucking love you too, you pretty little dollface. Er. _my_ pretty little dollface?” My entire body gets warm and my cheeks turn pink.

“Yes, _your_ pretty little dollface.” I say gleefully and he picks me up and spins around. “So, did we just like...make this official?”

“I think we did, love.” He sets me down and I can’t help but let out a loud squeal.

“Sorry, sorry, I just...we’re...you’re my...I’m your...I need a moment.” I stand back and just look at him from head to toe. He’s...mine. Well not _mine_ , that’s just toxic, he’s his own person, but...he’s...my boyfriend...that’s...is this really happening?

“Are you okay?” He says with a titter. I pull him toward me and look into his eyes and run my fingers through his hair.

“I’m perfect. Just checking out this lovely new man I have in my life is all.”

“Oh really? Who is this man?” He asks with a sly grin.

“Well, for starters, he’s really fucking handsome.”

“Mm. Well you better tell me more, I gotta know who I’m competing with.” I snort as he kisses my forehead.

“He’s a pretty well known actor.” He scoffs playfully.

“Huh. One of those creative artsy fartsy guys.”

“And he lives in Manhattan.”

“Ohhh. artsy fartsy, handsome, and snooty then.” he smirks at me.

“Nooo, no. This one has a good head on his shoulders. Has his feet firmly grounded, but wears his heart on his sleeve. Very sensitive and romantic. He smells intoxicating as well, I forgot to tell him that earlier.” He rolls his eyes and blushes.

“Sounds like a keeper to me.” He says in a hushed tone.

“Mmmmhhh, and he also has this body of which I can’t seem to keep my hands or eyes off.” I rub his chest and I bite my lower lip, looking up at him.

“Oh? What else does he have of which you can’t keep your hands or eyes off?” 

“He has these beautiful blue eyes that just pop. Perfect little snoot.” I boop his nose and his face scrunches up. “Luscious, soft lips that I can’t stop kissing.” I gently kiss his lips, trailing off and pecking softly along his jawline and down his neck. I unbutton his shirt a little and kiss down his chest.

“Mmmhh~ fuck…” He whimpers.

“Such a beautiful cock too…” I hum in his ear. “So badly do I want my mouth on it.”

“Oh what I’d do to see my sweet girl’s lips wrapped around it.” I trail my hands up his thighs slowly.

“And thighs that I just want to dig my teeth into.” I squeeze his thighs which causes a hitch in his breath. He places one hand on the wall beside my head and uses the other one to pick up my left leg and pin me against the wall.

“You have to stop being such a tease, missy.” He says.

“Oh? Or else what? You’re going to punish me?” He snickers softly.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re in for tonight, micuta mea curvă, my little whore.” Oh good god, even the smallest bit of degradation…I whimper louder than expected and we kiss each other fervently, thrusting my tongue in his mouth as he slips his hand up my dress and tightly grabs my ass. My core is hot and my heart’s racing. He presses his hardening member against me and I moan into his mouth. He breaks the kiss, leaving me wanting so much more. We look at each other for a moment and he rubs his nose against mine.

“I don’t know if this is your definition of dancing, but if so, I’m absolutely loving it so far.” He lowers my leg and cradles my face in his hands and I lean my head into his touch.

“I love you, Molls. I really do.”

“I love you too, Seb.” He kisses me softly one more time.

“I’m going to do my damnedest to make sure you know that everyday. I’m going to try my hardest to be the best partner I can be to you, because you only deserve the best.” He kisses my forehead. “Now let’s REALLY go dancing this time.” I giggle and oblige. He leads me down this little alleyway to a small park where in the distance I can see a decently sized...is that a gazebo? With rows of lights dangling from the ceiling and wrapped around the pillars. There sits a piano off to the side.. The hell?

“Seb, what the _fuck_ is this?” My heart is racing the closer we get to it. We walk into the gazebo with my eyes practically bulging out of my skull and my jaw on the floor. “Seb what is…” Before I could finish my sentence I notice Joe sitting at the piano. “Oh my god, what?” Joe waves.

“Sup?” Joe says. 

“Joe what the fuck is this?” Joe motions toward Sebastian.

“Ask Seb.” Joe starts playing piano for a little ambience and I look at Seb.

“So? You want to explain yourself?” I say folding my arms and snickering. He unfolds my arms, holds my hand and takes my cane and throws it to Joe. I freak out for a minute, as I don’t have what I usually do to help me balance.

“I got you don’t worry.” I smile as he places my arms around his neck and wraps his around my waist and we slowly sway to the music. “So I had this idea in my mind siiiiince this morning. I knew there was this gazebo here. Just needed a piano and Joe to sing a little diddy.”

“Sing a little diddy? You know to be honest I have heard Joe sing a little under his breath here and there but I have never heard him really belt out a song. Never thought that me going on a date with you would finally get me to hear him.” I chuckle softly. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cory and we give each other playful glares.

“So, this is what you guys were in the coffee shop talking about for almost a half hour then?” 

“Are you mad?” He asks with a smile and I look around, letting all of this sink in.

“I’m not mad at all. This is fucking amazing.” I boop his nose. “Just like you.” He turns beet red. And tries to hide his face. “You, Sir, need to learn how to take a compliment, you know that? Because I’m full of them for you.” He slides his hands up my back and he looks at me. “What?”

“Do I need a reason to look at my beautiful girlfriend?” I bite my lip and my cheeks turn red and I grin from ear to ear.

“I guess not, no.” He kisses me and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the music and sway with the beat and Joe starts singing.

_Don't tell me this is all for nothing  
I can only tell you one thing  
On the nights you feel outnumbered  
Baby, I'll be out there somewhere_

“Are you serious right now?” I say, reacting to the song and look up at him and he gives me a shy smile.

“I mean Joe and Cory told me you loved the song and I thought it was fitting.” I smile and rest my head on his chest again and close my eyes. I feel him kiss the top of my head and rest his chin on the top of it. 

“They gave you a few ideas for songs?” I run my hands up his neck and rub his scalp.

“Just a few, yeah.” He says softly.

_See, I'm in love with how your soul's a mix of chaos and art  
And how you never try to keep 'em apart_

“So that safe word you were talking about, but got distracted by my...sexy phalanges and irresistible metacarpi.” He places his hands on my hips and grabs tightly.

“Ah yes we forgot about that, didn’t we?” I smile and we gradually start rotating as we’re moving.

“Well, _I_ didn’t, but you certainly did.” Mmmhhh~ Those hands though...Molly focus!

“So, I already have a safe word implemented into my scenes, using that would just be easiest for me, and the word, ironically enough, is ‘Sputnik’.” He cackles in response.

“Well, now you just triggered the comic version of Bucky, great job!” I boop his nose with mine and his face scrunches up.

“But it doesn’t seem like you’re in Winter Soldier mode right now, so I think we’re safe...right?” 

“Well,” he begins, “I did say the trigger words when I picked you up, soooo, I’m not entirely sure…” I smile and cup his face.

“You know in addition to being with you, this is the closest I’ll get to dating an Avenger…” I smirk at him as he shakes his head.

“Unless you date one of the original six, like...Chris.” I ponder that jokingly for a moment.

“Hmmm. Nah. I prefer you.” The corners of his lips curl up into a grin and he cups the back of my head and secures me to his chest.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.” I hum into his chest.

_And there'll be days when it's difficult  
But I ask you to never leave behind the reciprocal, we're past that  
Love is not designed for the cynical  
So we have that, we can have that_

I look back at Joe and give him a look, my own way of saying, ‘thank you’ to him. I put my hands underneath Seb’s jacket and wrap my arms around his middle. 

“Are you cold, babe?” He asks.

“A little, but I’m okay.” He pauses and holds my hand to help with my balance as he removes his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. 

“Better?” I nod my head. My eyes well up with tears and he cups my face and kisses me gently. I hold onto his middle again and listen to his heartbeat, which seems to be fluttering.

“You okay there? Your heart is beating very quickly.” I say.

“Yeah. Just really fucking happy.” I give him a tight but brief squish. We stay silent and let the sound of Joe’s singing fill the empty space. I close my eyes and just live in the moment, and Seb whispers the lyrics very softly.

_How long can you wait for the one you deserve?  
Light on, never let it out, never let it out  
If I'm gone, if you ever leave I hope that you learn  
To fight on, to fight on_

_Don't tell me this is all for nothing  
I can only tell you one thing  
On the nights you feel outnumbered  
Baby, I'll be out there somewhere_

_I see everything you can be  
I see the beauty that you can't see  
On the nights you feel outnumbered  
Baby, I'll be out there somewhere_

The song ends, but we continue just holding each other and swaying. Seb kisses the top of my head again.

“One more song and then we can go back, okay?” I look up at him.

“You say that like I’m not enjoying this.” I respond.

“Well I know you’re self conscious about dancing, so you know…” He responds.

“Not with you though.” I hear the beginning of the next song and my heart dissolves into a puddle. “Oh god, this song I’ve always wanted to-”

“Dance with someone to it? Cory told me.” He winks at me and I blush. I see Cory standing by the piano.

“Y-yeeeeeah…” I titter softly.

_Who cares 'bout star signs?  
I'm hardwired to be with you  
You're like a sunrise and I'm scared  
That I'll never get enough of you  
Nobody called it a starfall  
Come out the blue  
I’m all butterflies, I’m sky high for you_

I hide my face in his chest, trying not to cry as I listen to the words. You know, people can say what they want about us. They can say it isn’t really love. They can say we’re crazy for falling for each other so fast. But I don’t care. I really feel something for him, something so real. Something so legitimate. I feel like I can let him in like I couldn’t with so many people in my past. Like...being vulnerable is the strongest thing I’ve ever done, and it’s okay to be sensitive.

_When it feels like this  
Like a light came on  
And you look at me  
Like I'm all you want  
I got everything  
At my fingertips  
How can I resist  
When it feels like this?_

It’s absolutely insane, I know. But he makes it so safe to be open and be vulnerable and he validates me. He makes me feel like I really matter. Because I do matter. Not just to myself, but to him, and he lets me know it every chance he gets. He isn’t perfect. He has his flaws. He makes mistakes. He’s human. But he’s a human I chose to be with, and I, a human he chose to be with. It’s scary and amazing, terrifying and incredible, perplexing and exciting. I don’t know what the future will bring us. I can only hope for the best though, because I really see this lasting.

_Like you were always meant to be_  
Right here next to me  
In your faded denim jeans 

_“Like we were always meant to be To think I never knew it…”_ I sing to him, and boop his nose before the next lyric. _“Till now.”_ I hold his face in my hands and kiss him deeply. We dance for another minute and the song ends and I just continue to hold him close.

“So?” He murmurs.

“So what?” I ask. Joe hands my cane back to me and I hug him and Cory tightly. “Y’all are some sneaky ass bitches I swear. Thank you.” 

“Anything for our girl.” Cory says happily.

“Eeeeven if that means intervening on your date!” He laughs loudly. “But you guys have a good rest of your night, okay?” I smile at them and they go back to the hotel. I look back at Seb.

“You didn’t answer my question, love. So what?” I ask as I give him back his jacket.

“So, do you want to go back to the hotel now?” I respond by pressing my body tightly against his and kissing down his neck to the unbuttoned part of his shirt, kissing and nibbling on his chest. “Mmmff, fuck.” he mumbles. I have been wet since before dinner, and have just felt myself get gradually wetter throughout the evening. But at this point I can feel that I’ve soaked through my panties and it’s starting to run down my thighs.

“Yes please, Sir,” I say softly and chuckle. I walk over to the railing of the gazebo and look up at the night sky, not sure what to do because I’m just so soaked I’m afraid it will freak Seb out, so I stall, “but, I kind of want to stay here for a bit.” He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. He kisses up the nape of my neck, making me shiver.

“You know, as much as I love the weather,” he comes around to kiss the crook of my neck a couple times, “Love the coolness of the air,” Seb licks up my neck achingly slow, making me moan audibly and cream my panties even more, as he whispers in my ear, “I would rather be with you back at the hotel, skin to skin, marking you up while I pound and fill your tight little pussy.” He runs his hand up my dress between my legs and I try to stop him but he’s too quick. He grabs my inner thigh, which is soaked beyond belief.

“Nnnnhh~” I whine, trying to pull my leg away embarrassed, but despite the slick coating, he has a tight enough grasp.

“Holy shit babe.” Seb whispers. He runs his hand down my other thigh, to find it’s just as soaked. He trails his fingers up to my panties, which are drenched. “How many times did you edge yourself today, babe?” I sigh softly to his touch.

“Mmmhhh~ only four, Sir…” He grabs my neck gently.

“Only four? I thought I asked you to do it five times pretty girl.” I mewl in response.

“I, I know Sir but I couldn’t find one more opportunity to do it…” I feel his hand yanking at my thong and he rips it off and lets the now tattered lacy fabric fall to the ground. He turns me around and we kiss deeply, slipping his tongue in my mouth as I pull his hair and whimper loudly. I just want him inside of me so badly. At this point I don’t care if we fuck in this gazebo, I just want him to ruin me already. He kisses down my neck to my collar bone and digs his teeth in, making me growl when he begins tugging at my skin. He lets go and leaves behind a deep throbbing pang. Seb looks around making sure we’re alone, then pushes my dress up and gets down on his knees.

“Trebuie să te gust, fetiță dulce.” He props my right leg on his shoulder and looks up at me deviously. “I have to taste you, my sweet girl.” My grip on the railing tightens as he grazes up and down my thighs with his tongue, then licks along my slit ever so lightly, making me almost lose my balance. He holds me up as I cry out at the lightest lick, touch, nibble. He continues to tease and softly licks my lips.

“Fuck, please Seb…” He stops and looks up at me.

“Please what, micuta mea curvă?” 

“Please make me cum, Sir…” He looks up at me and bites his lip, and then laps his tongue over my clit, sending a vibration of sensations through every fiber of my being. I rock my hips against his movements as he circles his tongue around my clit. I run my fingers through his hair and push his head against my pussy more. “Oh my god, Sir, FUCK.” I growl so loudly, but I couldn’t give a shit less who hears. My hips buck and my muscles pulse as my orgasm approaches, but Seb slowly comes to a halt, kisses my thighs a few times and comes back up to my face and kisses my mouth. “N-No, but Sir! Sir, please! I’m so close!” He smiles and cups my face in his hands and kisses my forehead.

“That was five.”


End file.
